Light in My Life
by ErieDragon
Summary: Tohru has touched the lives of the Jyuunishi. They all have feelings for her, in one way or another... But can she melt even the coldest of hearts?
1. Spirits

Hmmm... I must be asking for an early death, writing fics. Ah, well, inspiration knows no bounds.

The Light in My Life

1: Spirits

The house would never be the same again. There were no eerie silences, no uncomfortable moments, no hard feelings; it was just different than it had been before. The four members of the household sat around the table, the light clicks of chopsticks the only sounds that could be heard.

Summer was beginning. They would have one month of freedom from school, one month before starting their next semester and becoming seniors at Kaibara High School. None of the four companions knew what to expect, and could only watch and wait.

Tohru sighed, causing the three boys to raise their eyes and give her a questioning look. She smiled. "It is nice that we are all together," she said, lifting some rice to her lips with her chopsticks. Shigure grinned at her.

"My little flower always has the nicest things to say," he commented brightly. Yuki and Kyou gave him irritated expressions, and he quickly waved one hand to diffuse them. "Dinner tonight was wonderful, Tohru-kun." She smiled in response.

"Thank you, Shigure-san. I hope the miso soup was not too clear!" Yuki shook his head.

"On the contrary, Honda-san. I couldn't see anything," he assured her. Tohru gave him a radiant smile, and Kyou suppressed the urge to kick his rival beneath the table, but then the mouse would probably accuse him of playing footsie.

The rest of the meal continued in silence, until the three men admitted that they were full and had finished off the last of the food. Tohru took the plates to the sink while each one thanked her and left the room.

Shigure hovered for a moment, watching her carefully wash each plate, dry it, and set it aside. Without realizing it, she had spent the entire meal with her apron still on, but the dog had stopped worrying about her overworking herself long ago. She did it whether or not anyone made a fuss, and the men had come together to slowly ease down her work level. It was working. Tohru no longer went off her rocker when she had gotten behind in her chores or forgotten some minute detail. 

Shigure walked over to her, standing beside her in front of the sink until she noticed him.

"Shigure-san! I hadn't noticed you! I'm sorry," she apologized. He shook his head.

"It's no problem. You're busy," he replied, but refrained from leaving. "Would you like some help with that?"

Tohru looked at him and blinked, then quickly shook her hands. "No, I couldn't ask that of you!" she insisted with alarm, turning off the running water and using her body to shield the sink.

"You don't have to ask it, I'm volunteering," he countered. Tohru watched him for a moment, before turning the water back on.

"I won't inconvenience you," she said calmly. Shigure blinked, then smiled. "If you really want to help, I'd really like a helper to dry these plates for me." He nodded and quickly set to work, arming himself with a drying towel. 

Honda Tohru was never part of the plan. Shigure withheld a sigh as he casually wiped the plate he had been handed. He always wondered if it had been better if she had never walked by their house that morning two years ago, admiring his Jyuunishi figurines. It would have been infinitely better for her, but Shigure knew somewhere that the Sohma family would have been forever locked in their own deep, dark secrets and miseries without her. Tohru's eternally bright spirit put the light in their lives.

This time, Shigure allowed a sigh to escape as he paused in his drying. Tohru turned to him. "Shigure-san?" she asked quietly. He looked at her, and smiled.

"We are happy that you are here, Tohru-kun," he told her. She blinked, then grinned. She rarely looked as carefree as she did right then, and Shigure felt his stomach flutter. Yes, they were definitely better with her around.

"I am happy to be here, too." At that particular moment, the door opened abruptly. Kyou entered the room, looking annoyed as usual. "Hello, Kyou-kun!" Tohru greeted. Kyou paused and looked at her, then scowled darkly at Shigure. The dog felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up; the boy was aggressively protective of Tohru, and it alarmed him at times. 

"What is that dog doing in here?" Kyou growled, grabbing the milk from the refrigerator and taking a long swig directly from the carton.

"Oh, Shigure-san? He offered to help me with the dishes!" Tohru replied happily. Shigure nodded in response, which caused Kyou to glare even more sourly.

"Just discussing wedding plans with my young bride!" Shigure said daringly. He ducked, a much practiced technique. Kyou's fist sailed over his head, and Tohru had to move to one side to avoid intercepting with any of the cat's other dangerous limbs. 

"Ah, Kyou-kun!" she said, quickly distracting Kyou while Shigure made his getaway across the room. Kyou glared at her for a moment, before realizing that he was no longer facing off with the older man and was instead hearing Tohru's voice. "I have some sugared strawberries. Yuki and I grew them. Would you like some?" Kyou blinked, the nodded. Tohru grinned and immediately got him a small bowl of them.

Shigure watched from the corner where he was seeking refuge at the display. The brash, temperamental animal could instantly be diffused by one word from Tohru, and it never ceased to amaze him. He stood up, briefly announcing his departure before leaving the kitchen.

He would have to get over it. Shigure felt age, although he was no more than 28 years old. The teenagers were always so active and energetic, while he felt worn out by many stressful years. He walked slowly down the hallway, stopping in front of his office. Looking inside, he was confronted by papers covering the floors and desk, so he decided to pause and stand idly in the hallway. Tohru made him feel young; he liked her for it. It was a shame he was too old for her and too proud to go for her despite the age difference. It was enough for him that she was around, but he knew that as soon as she graduated, she would insist on burdening them no longer. Not that she was a burden, but it wasn't appropriate for a full grown woman to live in a house with three other equally full grown men.

She would have to leave sometime. Shigure just hoped it was later rather than sooner.

As he pondered, he failed to notice Tohru walking towards him. She lightly tapped him on the shoulder, and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Shigure-san?" she asked. "I'm sorry for startling you." Shigure shook his head.

"That's no problem at all. What can I help you with?" he smiled brightly, covering his mask of pensiveness. She saw right through it, of course.

"Are you alright? You looked thoughtful earlier and you seemed to be a little sad just now," Tohru replied, looking a little forlorn. Whenever one of her housemates was unhappy, she was too. It was her own little curse, Shigure thought with a frown.

"I'm quite alright, Tohru-kun. Just thinking." She looked at him for a moment, her eyes unusually thoughtful and probing. Shigure turned to his office, opening the door and stepping inside. Tohru moved to stand in front of the doorway, and Shigure looked at her for a moment. He smiled. "Forgive this old man for his actions."

He leaned forward, and lightly placing a kiss on her cheek, closed the door. Tohru stood, her eyes wide, her face suddenly lighting on fire.

She put a hand on her cheek, lightly touching the place his lips had touched her. It was such a friendly, caring kiss, a smile quickly spread across her face. With a whistle and a spring in her step, Tohru trotted back into the kitchen.


	2. Walks

W00t. Quick updates.

2: Walks

"What is that sound?" Tohru asked, yawning as she smoothed out her revealing nightgown.

"Nn," came the response from beside her. The man lying there pulled the blankets over his head. Tohru lightly brushed her fingers through some of his dark colored hair, leaning down to kiss his ear. She tucked the blankets around him, getting quietly out of bed.

Tohru sat up in bed quite suddenly. Her breath wasn't quick, for the dream hadn't been dramatic in any way. She wasn't sweating, but rather felt warm and comfortable. It was so right, so real.

Looking at her alarm clock, Tohru realized it was only a few minutes before she was due to wake up anyway. Getting out of bed, she trotted to the bathroom in her pajamas and turned on the faucet.

It was the third time that week she had had a dream like that. They had no real meaning to her right then, but she got butterflies in her stomach whenever she thought of the man that they featured. It was a warm, anticipatory sort of nervousness, as if her thought and heart was culminating towards that one feeling.

__

Tohru finished off the meal preparation by scooping some rice into her hands, patting it into a side-dish sort of riceball. Setting the last plate on the table, the man who had previously been sitting some ways away on a cushion came towards her. He wore a rather casual yukata_, which was the same dark color as his hair and hung loosely from his fine shoulders. His eyes were shadowed, and he touched her hand briefly before kneeling down in front of the table._

Tohru remembered the dream she had had two nights previous with fondness. But what did it mean? She sighed. Who would know? Or rather, who could she tell?

Finishing with her shower, she hastily put on her school uniform and trotted down the stairs. Although the sun had only just come up, Kyou was already coming down the stairs from the roof, where he had probably been since she woke up twenty minutes earlier. He was always out of bed as soon as the sun came up, and hated waiting too long for breakfast. With that thought in mind, Tohru quickly set about preparing a meal.

As she set out plates of natto, rice, and miso, Yuki sleepily walked into the room. He was definitely not a morning person; but that was hardly the worst part of mornings. Along with being a walking zombie, when Yuki was half asleep, he was doubly dangerous as the rest of the day when he was more alive. This was more of a threat to Kyou than anyone else, since the cat was prone to picking fights at the most inopportune times. Because Yuki lacked reasoning to match his power in the morning, he would usually grind Kyou's face into the ground with one kick in order to get to his breakfast.

With this thought in mind, Tohru carefully led the sleepy Yuki over to the table, where she sat him down on a cushion and quickly set energizing food in front of him. Kyou came into the room not long after, looking annoyed. Tohru had gotten used to it by now, and took her time putting out the rest of the meal. It did not take much longer for an exhausted-looking Shigure to stumble into the kitchen.

When everyone was seated, they commenced. "Ittadakimasu," Tohru repeated, before absently eating her miso soup. Maybe it was time to pay the main house a visit, she thought. It had been a while since she had seen Hatori and the others who lived there. She saw Momiji and Hatsuharu at school at times, but they usually said hello between classes and missed one another during free periods or after school. 

"I think," Tohru said, "I will go to the main house after school." Immediately, all three men stopped eating and stared hard at her. She nodded. "I will walk home with Hatsuharu-san and Momiji-kun." Yuki was the first to speak up.

"Why?" Tohru shrugged her shoulders.

"It has been a while since I have seen Hatori-san and the others. I will call him before he leaves for work." Kyou and Yuki immediately became serious.

"Tohru, we cannot allow you to go there alone!" Kyou said loudly, looking quite angry. Tohru closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"I apologize if this may inconvenience you, but there is also something I must ask Hatori-san," she reasoned. Shigure looked at the two boys, then lightly touched their shoulders.

"It's fine with me, Tohru-kun, just make sure either Momiji-kun or Haru-kun is with you at all times, and call us if there is any problem at all," he requested. Tohru nodded and smiled. Kyou still growled angrily, but Yuki let out a small sigh of assent.   


Tohru stood up, collecting the plates with a smile on her face and a slight bounce in her walk. After cleaning the kitchen, she disappeared into the entryway where the phone was located.

"Hatori-san? This is Honda Tohru. Hello! Yes, I'm fine, thank you. And how are you? That's wonderful! I hope I didn't bother your morning routine, but I wanted to catch you before you left for work. Yes! They're doing well. Thank you. I was actually just wondering if it would be alright to stop by today after school. No, that's alright. I can spend time with Hatsuharu-san and Momiji-kun until you come home. Oh, not on my account! I was really just hoping to see you all. It's been a long time. Yes! Alright, thank you very much, Hatori-san. Goodbye." Yuki came up beside her. "Hatori-san said it would be fine. Is that okay with you, Yuki-kun?" He nodded and smiled.

"It would be wonderful for you to see your friends again. Would you like to walk with me to school? Kyou said he still has to do something, so he'll be a little late?" Tohru nodded.

"That would be lovely," she replied. They stepped out the door, announcing their departure before closing the shoji panel behind them. 

***

"Momiji-kun!" Tohru cried, waving her hand. The little blonde-haired boy turned around, and upon spotting her, went wild with excitement.

"Tohru-kun!" he cried, stopping himself from hugging her at the last moment. There were still a lot of students filing out of the building, and a large poof and a boy suddenly turning into a rabbit would instigate a lot of unnecessary attention.

Momiji now wore regular boys' clothing, but still looked as childish as ever. His bright, reddish-brown eyes and outstanding blonde hair always earned him a lot of attention, and he seemed to enjoy every minute of it. He latched onto Tohru's arm, smiling widely.

"How are you, princess Tohru?" he asked, giggling at the name. She smiled back.

"I'm wonderful, Momiji-kun," she replied, patting his head. He was almost as tall as she was now, but acted no different than he did when he was a freshman. "I was actually wondering if it would be alright to walk home with you and Hatsuharu-san. I wanted to come visit you all this afternoon," she told him. Momiji immediately grinned and nodded.

"I would love that! I don't know about Haru-kun though, he has to stay after school for a little while. But that's alright, right?" Tohru nodded. "Great! Hatori mentioned something about that earlier, but I think I was already mostly out of the door," Momiji added with a blush.

"It has been a while since I last saw you and chatted," Tohru commented as they walked away from the school, hand in hand. Momiji nodded.

"We missed you, Tohru-kun," he said solemnly. Tohru looked sadly at him, then patted his arm. 

"I will try to come and see you all more often," she assured him, but Momiji didn't seem convinced. 

They crossed the street, stepping onto the path which led through the surrounding trees towards the main house. Tohru watched Momiji with curiosity; he had grown considerably since she last got a good look at him. He still had a very childish face, but was almost taller than she and seemed less boyish than when she had first met him.

The main house appeared through the trees, looming large before them. It was one floor, but extended like a village of houses around a wide courtyard. Momiji led Tohru up towards the part where he and Hatori lived, releasing her hand and opening the door for her. 

"I'm so happy to see you again, Tohru-kun," Momiji said, hugging her suddenly. A cloud of smoke surrounded the surprised Tohru, and a small rabbit appeared in her arms. Tohru giggled.

"It's good to see you too, Momiji-kun," she replied, patting his head. Tohru let out a silent sigh; the happiest, most cheerful member of the Sohma family was the one with the hardest and most tragic past. She hugged Momiji, petting his long ears. "I'm sorry, Momiji-kun."

"What for, Tohru-kun?" She only hugged him tighter. "I am happy, Tohru-kun." Momiji looked up at her, before closing his eyes and snuggling up to her. 

Then, there was a sudden "POOF!".


	3. Dinners

I know this is irrelevant, but I would like to thank "Mra Aouma Akito" for pointing out my use of "yukata." This is the first fic with which I have ever had to do research, and it is a thrilling experience, I must admit. Although it was a bit disturbing when I learned what "natto" was.

A yukata is a traditional Japanese outfit worn by men, characteristic of Shigure, Kazuma, and Akito.

Natto is a pungent fermented soybean dish.

3: Dinners

"Momiji, come to my apartment for dinner." Hatsuharu waited a moment for the energetic rabbit to come catapulting out of the house at him, but it never came. Raising one eyebrow rather dazedly, he opened the door fully and stepped inside.

Tohru sat against the wall, fast asleep. Haru's eyes widened considerably as he saw a stark naked Momiji curled up beside her with his head on her lap, snoring away. He sat down, slowly making the deductions.

Momiji wasn't a bad boy at all, and definitely would not be pulling anything dirty. It was also equally refutable because he knew Tohru would never do such a demeaning thing, especially in the open. Then why else would the rabbit be completely naked?

Transformations. Haru blinked, lightly slapping himself on the forehead. He walked into Momiji's room, taking a blanket and wrapping it around the little boy, before heaving the rabbit onto his shoulder and plopping him on his own bed. Unsure whether to wake him or not, he decided against it and instead went to find out why Tohru was at the main house alone.

"Tohru? Wake up, Tohru," said Haru as he poked her at regular intervals on the arm. She slowly opened her eyes, letting out a small yawn, before she was hit by realization.

"Haru-kun!" she cried, grabbing her chest as if she were about to have a heart attack. "I'm so sorry! Momiji-kun and I must have fallen asleep...-" she blinked, glancing around. "Where is Momiji-kun?" Haru turned his head, glancing at the open door of Momiji's room.

"He was in a state you should not see him in, so I put him to bed," the cow replied simply. "Not to be rude, but why are you here?"

Tohru jumped up, looking terrified. "I'm sorry, Haru-kun! I fell asleep so I could not greet you! I wanted to visit you, Momiji-kun and Hatori-san, but I fell asleep! Sumimasen!" she apologized. Haru stared at her for a moment, then waved his hand.

"Don't worry, Tohru-kun. It is a day for napping," Haru replied calmly. "It is good you came to visit. I have not seen you in a while."

Tohru smiled and nodded. "Very much so, Haru-kun! I have missed you all a great deal," she replied excitedly. Haru couldn't stop himself from smiling lightly back at her. He marveled at her energy every time he saw her, and today was no exception. 

"Hatori should be back soon. It's getting late, though, would you like to have dinner with me?" Haru asked. Tohru looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Dinner? Oh, I couldn't do that! I told Hatori-san I wouldn't intrude!" she cried in alarm. Haru tilted his head at her.

"But I invited you," he replied obviously. Tohru blinked, then smiled.

"I would like that, Haru-kun."

"Good. I will tell the servants to bring an extra meal... would you like to eat here or at my apartment?" he asked.

"I don't want to inconvenience you, but I would like to be here when Hatori-san returns," she replied. Haru nodded.

"Then here it is. Hatori won't mind," he said, walking towards the door. "I'll be back in a few moments."

***

Tohru patted her lips with a cloth napkin, setting down her chopsticks. The meal had been large and extravagant, but Haru had quickly eaten anything that was leftover.

"Oh, my! That was delicious!" Tohru announced, sighing contentedly. Haru nodded, then glanced up when he heard some shuffling from down the hall.

"It seems as if he has awoken a few minutes too late," Haru commented. Momiji emerged from his room, wearing a cute pair of shorts and a little vest. He rubbed his eyes, then seemed to burst with revived energy when he saw Tohru.

"Ah, Tohru-kun! I'm so sorry I fell asleep!" Momiji apologized, his face going a bright red. He noticed Haru and the empty plates, and his face fell.

"I missed dinner? Oh no!" he cried melodramatically, flopping down on the cushion adjacent to Tohru. She gave him a worried look.

"Don't worry, Momiji-kun! We can get more food, right Haru-kun?" she tried to assure the rabbit. Haru looked at her for a moment, then nodded.

"Momiji, why don't you go and get it yourself? You could use the exercise," the cow said in a rather monotone voice. Momiji gave him a pouty look, then jumped to his feet and dashed out the door. "So much energy and nowhere to use it," Haru commented.

Tohru nodded and smiled, watching fondly as the shoji panel door remained open, flapping in the wind created by the racing rabbit. The two waited in silence for some time; Tohru sipped her tea, watching the sun dropping over the horizon through the open entryway.

She always knew just what to say to please everyone, Haru thought. He ran a hand through his wild white hair, his generally flat, silver eyes seeming more alive than usual. Tohru turned to him and smiled.

"This was a wonderful evening, Haru-kun. I hope we can do it again sometime," she said. Haru nodded, letting a tiny smile creep onto his face as well.

"Me too," he replied. He paused momentarily, hearing the sound of a familiar car pull up outside. Haru stared at her. "Maybe Momiji and I will visit you soon." Tohru grinned widely.

"That would be wonderful, Haru-kun! I'm sure Yuki-kun and Shigure-san would love to have you." She paused for a moment. "Kyou-kun too!" Haru nodded, when a shadow filled the doorway.

"Oh, Haru. What are you doing here?" Tohru glanced up, waving as she saw Hatori come into the room, looking almost curiously at the already open entrance.

"Hatori-san! Welcome home! I'm sorry for intruding while you weren't here!" she apologized. Hatori shook his head.

"It's alright, Tohru-kun," he said simply. He looked at Haru flatly, and the boy quickly stood up.

"I'll go check on Momiji-kun and make sure he hasn't gotten into some terrible accident on his way to the kitchen," Haru said, walking towards the door. Hatori stepped out of the room towards the bathroom, causing Haru to pause by the doorway.

"Goodbye, Tohru. It was very good to see you again," he said, before exiting and closing the door behind him.

"Haru...!" Tohru said nervously. _Have either Momiji or Haru with you at all times_. Tohru gulped... but this was Hatori. He was a very good man. Tohru smiled to herself. Yuki-kun and Shigure-san would forgive her for that.

Hatori walked back into the room, taking off his white lab coat and hanging it up near the doorway. "I see you've eaten already," he commented. Tohru stood up immediately.

"I'm sorry, Hatori-san! Haru-kun invited me for dinner, but I didn't want to miss you so I suggested we eat here, and I didn't even think to wait for you! Sumimasen!" she apologized. Hatori put a hand on her shoulder.

"That's alright, Tohru-kun. Please, have a seat," he motioned towards the cushions. "A servant will be by to take the dishes, and I usually eat very late anyway." Tohru still looked sad, and Hatori guided her towards the cushion she was sitting on previously.

"It's really alright, Tohru-kun. Tell me what's on your mind."


	4. Resolutions

4: Resolutions

Tohru crossed her arms on the table. "Hatori-san... I do have a question for you, but I want to know something." Hatori watched her, then bade her ask. "How are you?"

He blinked for a moment. "E-excuse me?" Hatori furrowed his brow. "I'm fine, I suppose. How are you, Tohru-kun?"

Tohru smiled. "I am well, and I am happy that you are well." She paused. "Do you ever leave the house to go anywhere beside work?"

Hatori shook his head. "No, not usually."

"No eating out, no going out for the fun of it?" Tohru asked, keeping her voice soft and non-intrusive. Hatori shook his head. "Hatori-san, would you like to go to dinner on Friday night?"

He looked slightly surprised, then nodded his head. "Though I don't know why you would want to go anywhere with an old guy like myself," he commented with a bit of humor. Tohru smiled.

"On the contrary, Hatori-san. I very much enjoy your company," she replied truthfully.

Hatori turned away for a moment, letting his hair cover his injured eye. To dinner, with a young high school girl? It would definitely give people the wrong idea if she still looked like a school girl, but she had grown out of it. Was it right to take a high school girl out to dinner? Shigure would tease him for weeks about it.

He glanced up, and Tohru's radiant smile immediately caused him to lift one lip slightly in what could appear to be a smile of his own. There was no avoiding it.

Tohru looked at her feet, her gaze turning slightly more sullen. "I don't know if what I have to ask is a medical question," she said, "but I thought that perhaps, I might need the advice of a very wise person." She looked at him, and it took Hatori a moment to register what she had said.

Wise? Him? This was it; she was definitely insane. "I'm the least wisest of people here," he said in all seriousness. Tohru looked surprised.

"But Hatori-san is the smartest, oldest, most intelligent person I know! Hatori-san is very wise," she assured him. With Tohru, he was unable to deny it further.

With a sigh, Hatori gave her a firmer look. "What was it you wanted advice on, then?"

Tohru smiled, happy to have him finally accept her verdict. "I've been having these dreams, lately," she began.

"I don't die, and they're not like nightmares at all... They're actually quite pleasant. I just don't understand what they mean, and they've been regularly recurring." Hatori put his hand on his chin.

"What are these dreams like?" he asked, then watched with interest as a quick blush spread across her face. "Oh, Tohru...!" She stared at him, then immediately began shaking her head.

"Oh no! Not like that, Hatori-san!" Hatori couldn't stop himself from chuckling. Who could ever imagine a sweet, innocent thing like Tohru having a dream like _that_? He held in his laughter, letting his mask of seriousness take over again. Still looking flustered, she glanced at him for permission to continue.

"Describe them to me, Tohru-kun. If you can," he added. She blushed again.

"There's a man in them," she started, ignoring the innuendo, "but I can never see his face. He seems like my husband." Tohru glanced at her hands, furrowing her brow. "I feel like I know him very well... and that I love him, and he loves me too."

Hatori looked at her for a long moment. Was she itching to be a bride, maybe? "Tohru-kun, do you like anyone right now?"

Tohru looked at him curiously. "Of course! I like Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun, Shigure-san, Momiji-kun, Haru-kun, Hatori-san, Ayame-san, Kagura-san, Kisa-chan, Hiro-kun, and Ri-chan-san!" she announced happily. Hatori rubbed his temples. 

"I mean, as in a more... affectionate relationship. Someone you really like," he clarified. Tohru blinked, then looked down thoughtfully.

"No," she replied truthfully. Hatori furrowed his brow.

"I think that maybe, there is someone you are supposed to be liking... that someone who is in your dream. I think that maybe your subconscious is telling you to grow up, Tohru-kun," he told her. Tohru raised her eyebrows.

"...grow... up?" Hatori nodded.

"Someday, you will have to start liking a boy and go on dates, and get married," he said. "I know you love many people, but you have to grow up sometime."

Tohru lowered her head, making her expression invisible. She stood up slowly, then glanced up and smiled as if nothing had happened.

"Thank you for your advice, Hatori-san. I probably should be getting back to Shigure-san's house so that the others don't worry," she said wisely. Hatori nodded, standing up as well.

Tohru took her coat off the hanger, fixing it around her as Hatori watched from the table. It wasn't right to make her grow up too quickly, he told himself. She was so naive and innocent... he let out a sigh. It wasn't even right that she was still involved with the Sohmas. Nothing good would come of it, and she would only get hurt.

"Tohru-kun," he said. She paused, turning to look at him. "Tohru-kun... Leave the family." Tohru kept her eyes fixed on him, her face unchanging. "I don't want to see you get hurt. Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun love you very much, and I don't want you to get hurt because of them. Go on dates with boys, get married... the Sohmas will never bring anything except pain."

Tohru turned her head, her gaze dropping to the floor. "Hatori-san," she said in a quiet voice. "I love them too. I could never just leave them." She looked up again, tears brimming in her eyes. "I would never leave you."

Hatori walked towards her, forcefully putting his hands on her shoulders. "Tohru-kun!" he said, his voice louder. "I care about you, Tohru-kun. Please, if just for my sake..." She shook her head.

"Thank you, Hatori-san, for worrying about me, but I will be alright. I am not afraid," Tohru told him.

"You are important to me, Tohru-kun, and to the others too. We could never see you get hurt because of us," he said softly.

Tohru smiled, wiping the tears from her face. "Then I won't get hurt, and I won't leave you." She tied the middle of her coat, still unwilling to trust the summer weather at night. "Thank you, Hatori-san."

She turned, walking to the door and opening it. "Wait, Tohru-kun," Hatori said suddenly. Tohru turned around, a questioning expression on her face. "I'll drive you home. It's dangerous to walk around anywhere at night these days," he insisted.

Tohru smiled, and he led her out the door and down the steps towards his own personal driveway, where his dark sedan waited.. "Your carriage, princess Tohru," he said, opening the door for her. Before she could ask him where he had gotten the nickname, he had closed the door. Climbing into the driver's seat, he turned on the engine and they drove away.


	5. Hopes

5: Hopes

Tohru walked through the trees, closing her eyes in the warm light streaming down from the rustling leaves above. A pair of yellow ribbons floated in the warm, quiet breeze, whisking her brown hair back over her shoulders.

Yuki had only just caught up to her, but remained behind. He walked silently, unable to disturb her peaceful tranquility. He had a million questions for her, but they would just have to wait. For now, it was just she and nature, and he was unwilling to make an entrance.

Kyou beat him to it. "Hey, what are you doing?!" the orange-haired boy demanded loudly. Tohru jumped in surprise, then glanced at him and smiled.

"Hello, Kyou-kun!" she greeted. Kyou blinked, then frowned all over again.

"Aren't you going to your part-time job today?" he asked, voice slightly less vociferous. She shook her head.

"Momiji-kun's father insisted I take the day off, because I have had a perfect record for three years now," she replied. Kyou stared at her.

"Three years? Perfect record?" Tohru smiled and nodded. "Wow. Well, anyway, that's good, I guess." He glanced back, as if noticing Yuki for the first time. "Were you aware that you had a mouse for a stalker?"

Yuki glared at Kyou, but Tohru only looked surprised. "Yuki-kun! I didn't seen you back there! I'm sorry," she apologized. Yuki shook his head.

"You seemed happy, I didn't want to interrupt you," he replied. Kyou nodded his head.

"Of course! Everyone is happy when you aren't around," retorted the cat. Tohru glanced at them, unsure how to cool the two animals down.

"Um.. since I have the day off, you want to do something?" she asked suddenly. Yuki and Kyou both focused on her, one curious, one irritated.

"Like what, Honda-san?" Yuki asked.

"I don't want to do anything with that damn mouse," Kyou announced. Tohru looked at her feet nervously. He immediately recognized the look, and furrowed his brow. "Uh, but as long as you're there, I guess I can... you know, fit it into my busy schedule..." She immediately looked up, smiling.

"I was thinking that we could go and see some of the Hana-mi. Shigure-san told me today and tomorrow would be the best day for cherry blossom viewing," she said happily. "He pointed out to me a large grove of them, just along the path near where the avalanche was."

Yuki raised his eyebrows. Hana-mi? It had been a while since he had last done that. "That sounds wonderful, Tohru-kun," he said with a smile. "It is a great way to celebrate school letting out."

Kyou had to agree. The peacefulness would do him some good; even if he couldn't pick a fight with Yuki, he could still enjoy himself. 

The three walked back to the house in relative silence. Tohru bounced happily, excited for her outing with the two most important men in her life. Kyou kept his face stern and angry, as was expected of him, despite the fact he was quite looking forward to spending some time with the joyful girl. Yuki walked with a smile on his face, maintaining his usual amount of composure.

Tohru stepped into the house. "We're home!" she announced, glancing around. It was silent. She raised one eyebrow; usually Shigure was enthusiastic about their returns to the house, and she was sure he hadn't said he was going anywhere important that day. He didn't go shopping or out on social occasions often, either.

"Shigure-san?" Tohru called, walking down the hall towards the office. Yuki and Kyou stood at the door, looking equally bewildered. "Shigure-san!" She knocked on the door. When there was no response, she lightly opened it.

Shigure sat at his desk, his hands resting on the table. His computer was on, but he seemed to be staring blankly at it. "Shigure-san?" Tohru asked. "Can I come in?" When there was no reply, she took the risk of being rude and stepped over his large piles of papers towards him.

"Shigure-san, what is it?" she inquired quietly, peering at his face. He was pale as a ghost, and his hair looked frazzled.

"Tohru-kun," he replied quietly. He looked up, barely noticing as Yuki and Kyou came bustling into the room.

It was a few minutes before Tohru and the two boys had maneuvered the man out of his office and onto the couch in front of the television. He finally regained the color in his face, and addressed them. Tohru kneeled in front of him, patting his forehead with a cold washcloth, while Yuki and Kyou stood off to one side.

"Ha-san called today," he began. "Akito... Akito is dying. Quickly."

There was a sudden silence. Tohru sat back, her face expressionless. Yuki's knees gave way beneath him, and Kyou merely stared.

"I know it's a shock... but it will probably be over for him soon."

Kyou shook his head. Shouldn't they be celebrating? The man was evil! He let out a snort, stomping out of the house before anyone could stop him. Yuki sat on the floor, looking at his hands. The man who had tortured him, mentally destroyed him, would die. The calm he had expected to come to him, the relief he wanted didn't grace his stone features. 

Yuki felt an assuring hand on his elbow. He looked up, and Tohru nodded her head. He slowly stood up, with her help, and leaned against the wall. "Are you alright, Yuki-kun?" she asked quietly in his ear. Yuki nodded slowly, his breath slowing down from its panicked state.

Tohru nodded, walking towards where Shigure lay. She kneeled down beside the couch. "Shigure-san, please excuse me in this time of your need. I must... I have something I must attend to," she said quietly. He looked at her, his eyes no longer glazed.

"What is that, Tohru-kun?" She smiled, patting his hand.

"There is someone I know who needs me very, very much," Tohru replied. She got up, disappearing into the hallway. She picked up the phone, dialing a familiar phone number.

"Hatori-san? Yes. Please, are you well? And the others? I know, Hatori-san. Be well, I will arrive as soon as possible," she assured the telephone. She walked back into the living room, looking at both of the men.

"I will return when I can. Please, wait for me," Tohru told them. "Make sure Kyou is alright, too." She walked towards the door, putting on her jacket. She stepped outside the door, closing it lightly behind her. No one inside said a word.

Tohru stepped down the porch steps, when she heard the door suddenly open, then slam. She spun around, seeing Yuki standing in front of the house, his hands on his knees.

"Don't go there, Honda-san!" he cried, walking towards her. Tohru watched him, her eyes soft towards him. Yuki stepped right up to her, his nose inches from hers. Her eyes widened as he took one of her yellow ribbons in his hand, bringing it back to his lips. "He will only hurt you! You remember what happened last time."

He closed his eyes, kissing the ribbon like he had done before. It seemed so long ago, he thought sorrowfully. But she was the same... she didn't change. She hadn't changed, but his feelings for her had. Yuki let the ribbon drop from his hand as he saw an unfamiliar determination in her eyes.

Tohru lifted her hand, putting it on his cheek. She cupped his face, watching with a bittersweet expression as tears began to brim in his eyes. She smiled, and releasing him, turned around and walked down the path.

Yuki stood still, watching as her scarf blew behind her. She had to do what she had to do, he told himself. She wouldn't leave them... never. He tilted up one lip. Akito didn't matter to him. Tohru did. Tohru was everything to them, and he would just have to trust her.


	6. Purposes

6: Purposes

Momiji stood outside the main house, leaning against the door. Tohru walked silently up to him, lightly touching his shoulder. The blonde lifted his head, his once bright and lively eyes seeming dull and lifeless. He had no tears in his eyes, no paleness in his face...

"Tohru-kun," he greeted. "Are you sure that you should be here?" The question startled her.

"I..." Tohru looked at her feet, but glanced up as she felt Momiji's hand on her shoulder.

"Come on, I'll walk you inside."

The door swung open, and the two walked in silence through the main courtyard toward Hatori's apartment. There was an eerie silence, and darkness seemed to be everywhere despite the plentiful sunlight. Tohru stopped mid-step when she saw Ritsu, dressed in a proper shirt and tie, but he disappeared quickly into a building not far off.

They stepped into Hatori's apartment without so much as a knock. But he was obviously expecting them, for he sat hunched over in his chair, his head resting on his arms. As soon as he heard them enter, he lifted a pale face. He had large bags under his eyes, and looked ready to collapse at any moment.

Tohru rushed towards him. "Hatori-san!" she cried worriedly. "You should sleep!" He shook his head.

"Akito calls for me once every hour. I will be awake until he passes away." Tohru looked down sadly, but she quickly changed her attitude to one of determination.

"How is... how is he doing?" she asked. Hatori raised his hands to his temples, massaging them slowly.

"Not well. He can hardly move, and is completely confined to his bed. He requires constant attention," he replied tiredly. "I don't even know if he recognizes those who visit him. He either rants deliriously or is deadly silent. The staff is in an uproar."

Tohru nodded slowly, the gears in her head working. She had begun to come up with a plan.

"I will come tomorrow early in the morning," she announced. She turned to Momiji, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Momiji, make sure Hatori sleeps every moment that he isn't spending with Akito. I will be here as soon as I can."

Momiji stared at Tohru, then nodded slowly. She smiled her best smile, and walked back out the door, waving to them.

"What was that all about?" Hatori asked suddenly. Momiji shook his head in bewilderment.  


"I don't know, but it sounds almost ominous."

By the time Tohru had arrived at Shigure's house, the sun had gone down. Although she was very paranoid being out alone after dark, she had not been in enough of a hurry to get back before then.

She entered the house, hoping she could still be just in time to make a quick dinner. She was greeted instead with Yuki and Kyou lounging on the floor flipping channels, while Shigure was nowhere to be seen.

"Yuki-kun? Kyou-kun?" Tohru inquired. The two boys looked up at her, and their tense faces seem to be overcome with relief.

"Are you alright, Honda-san?" Yuki asked worriedly. Tohru smiled and nodded.

"I'm leaving early tomorrow morning," she told them. 

"What for?" inquired Kyou. She looked at him, unable to lie, but unable to tell the truth.

"I think I'm going to go to Hana-chan's house for a little while, she wanted to take me out to get something nice. I'll be back as soon as I can, and the three of us can go do something special to get our minds off... things," she told them. Yuki nodded slowly. "Did you already eat?"

Kyou nodded with a tad of annoyance. "We ordered bento. There's one on the table for you," he said rather crudely. He went back to flipping the channels, leaning up against the couch.

Tohru nodded and bowed. "Thank you for thinking of me," she said quietly, before disappearing into the kitchen. Yuki frowned, but was too exhausted to get up and go after her.

Tohru ate her cold dinner in silence, before cleaning up the kitchen quickly and disposing of the trash. She then walked back through the living room, wishing the two boys goodnight before walking up to Shigure's door.

She knocked lightly. "Yes?" came the reply.

"May I come in?" Tohru asked. Before she could blink, Shigure had opened the door.

"How did it go?" he inquired, the life in him seemingly revived. She lowered her head.

"Don't tell Yuki or Kyou... I'm going back tomorrow morning. I'm... I'm going to see Akito." Shigure immediately stood up, looking the most dangerous she had ever seen him.

"Never!" he said loudly. Tohru tried to calm him down by putting a hand on his arm, but he shook it off. "I won't let him hurt you again!"

Tohru shook her head. "Shigure-san!" she cried. He immediately calmed down, staring at her. "Hatori-san told me... he may not even know it was me. He can't move enough to hurt me... and I won't let him die without at least seeing him and..." she lowered her head. "And apologizing."

Shigure stood for a moment, transfixed. The kindness in her heart never ceased to amaze him. "Tohru-kun," he addressed. "I will cover for you, but only this once."

Tohru smiled widely at him. "Thank you, Shigure-san," she said. "Goodnight."

***

The next morning, Tohru awoke to the sound of her curtains rustling in the breeze. A few birds chirped outdoors, but their music was pale in contrast to the thoughts inside her head. She was ready in a few minutes, deciding against wearing her favorite yellow ribbons. Instead, she tied back some of her hair in a little blue piece, putting on some nicer clothes. Although her outfit was rather casual compared to the formal _yukata_s worn by Akito and Shigure, it would have to do.

She walked down the stairs quietly, stepping into the kitchen. Setting to work, she made a large plate of riceballs with various breakfast fillings, and put them in the fridge along with a small note for Kyou, because he was always the first down in the morning for a swig of milk.

Tohru cleaned her hands, putting on her jacket just in case as she stepped out the front door. Kyou watched from the stairway, his eyes overcast. She was up to something, he could tell just by her nervousness. He was going to find out just what it was that she was plotting.

Tohru walked down the street, purse in hand, as she approached the shopping district. It didn't take long to find a flower shop, where she picked out the nicest bouquet she could find within her price range. With the pretty arrangement in hand, she set off towards the main house.

Momiji was again waiting for her when she arrived. He looked exhausted, and she immediately felt guilty about waking him up early in the morning because he had to let her inside. "Momiji-kun!" she said worriedly. "You should not have come out here just for me! I can wait..."

"Don't worry, Tohru-kun," he said. "I've been awake all night." Without further words, he led her into the large courtyard once more.

Hatori quickly noticed the large bouquet Tohru held. "That's not a good idea," he told her flatly. She only smiled at him.

"May I please see Akito?" she asked, her voice seeming almost cheerful. Hatori, slightly confused, slowly shook his head in affirmation.

"Let me go tell him you are here... I cannot guarantee a response, though. If he doesn't reply, I think it would be alright if you just went in, said hello, put down the flowers and left." Tohru only smiled and nodded.

She sat down on a cushion beside the table, setting down the flowers. Momiji sat down beside her, inspecting the bouquet.

"These are beautiful flowers," he told her truthfully. Tohru grinned.

"Why thank you, Momiji-kun. I thought the color of tulip was rather appropriate," she replied. "I never took a full length flower-arranging class, but I know enough." Momiji smiled back at her, and the two waited in companionable silence until Hatori returned.

"He responded... and it was as much of an agreement as I can get out of him at this point. Please, go in with extreme caution, Tohru-kun," he told her.

Tohru picked up her flowers, straightening out her skirt. She nodded, letting him lead the way towards Akito's apartment.

The hallways were dark and silent, the very walls seeming to emanate the pain and hatred suffered there. Tohru felt her heart rise into her throat; her last contact with Akito had been one of the most unpleasant experiences of her life, and she had no desire to repeat the incident. She would have to be very, very careful.

This man was the leader of all her friends, all the people she loved and cared about. If he died before he found peace, then so be it... but she would try her best to try and understand the complex being.

Hatori slowly opened the door, allowing her inside. He entered with her, unwilling to leave the two alone. He closed the sliding panel behind him, taking a seat near it. Tohru observed the room: many of the previous furnishings had been removed, but the same tapestries hung from the walls. There was a small birdbath, but there was a closed door between it and them. A rather luxurious-looking futon sat in the center of the room, and there was someone lying beneath the heavy blanket. His dark bluish-gray hair was splayed around the pillow, and his face was invisible.

She kneeled some feet away, setting down the flowers beside her. "Good morning, Akito-san," she greeted in a quiet voice. There was no reply. She crossed her arms on her lap, preparing for a long morning.


	7. Visits

Apologies for not updating yesterday. I don't really remember what I was doing, but it was important. I think. By the way, all these reviewers attempting to guess at the pairing is incredibly amusing. Keep it up! I won't mention it if one of you is right, for it should be apparent soon. And if anyone is questioning why I didn't put some sort of 'advertisement' about what's hidden in this story, I'll give a list of things I hate about this site:

People constantly put "R&R PLZ!!" Here's my biased opinion: If it's worth reviewing, it'll be reviewed. Tell people what you have to tell, and get on with it.

With listing pairings like "Yukiru" or "Shigure x Tohru"... it just looks tacky. If a story's good enough, any pairing can be appreciated.

7: Visits

Hatori had been half-dozing when a sudden movement from across the room jolted him out of his little nap. He instantly went on alert, staring intently at the girl still kneeling some distance away. She sat in front of Akito's padded futon, and the flowers she had brought for him still sat beside her. Perhaps an hour had passed; Hatori wasn't sure. The sunlight streaming into the room had shifted, seeping across the birdbath which rested on a nearby desk. A small, white bird sat on the rim, fanning its wings. How it went in and out with the door closed, he wasn't sure. Maybe it just slept in the room, and the servants opened the door for some fresh air at night.

The sound had been Akito shifting. Tohru was fully awake, still kneeling beside the mortally ill man. The flowers looked sort of wilted, but still had the vibrant colors that Tohru had chosen them to be.

"Hatori," came a shushed, whispering voice. Hatori was immediately alert. "Hatori... what is that smell?"

Tohru kept quiet, looking back at the doctor. "Flowers," Hatori replied. His voice seemed to boom in comparison to Akito's choked sound, but the eerie silence of the room magnified the very sound of a bird fanning its wings.

"What kind are they?" Akito asked again, devoid of emotion. Hatori blinked. He wasn't very good with flowers, so he looked to Tohru.

"Tulips," she said very quietly, her voice soft and tender. Akito seemed to take the answer well in his fevered state, and put his face back into the pillow. He still had not opened his eyes. "Pink and yellow tulips," Tohru added.

"Girlish," Akito's voice replied, almost indecipherable in its weakness. Tohru rose, lifting the flowers and turning to walk away. "But," he started again, "they smell pleasant." Tohru nodded, looking to Hatori. He looked around the room, his eyes settling on a vase in the corner. She gave him the flowers, bowing as he took them and put the vase in order near Akito.

"I'll come back tomorrow, when he feels better," Tohru told Hatori, smiling lightly. Hatori nodded slowly. When he feels better? She seemed so confident, Hatori felt as if her words must have been true. If she said it was so, then it must be, right?

He shook off that sort of thinking. Akito was only prolonging his death by using whatever small bit of self-preservation remained in his thin, weak body. Tohru bowed again, leaving the room. Hatori put the flowers in the vase, quietly ordering a servant to fill it with water.

He set it near the desk, which was some feet from the head of Akito's futon. He heard a light sniffing sound, and a small sound of what seemed to be some twisted form of pleasure. Hatori stood up, dusting off his knees and stepping out the door silently into the hall. It was time for some rest.

***

Tohru stepped inside the house not long after noon. She announced her arrival, but there was no response. Yuki was most likely in the garden, and Kyou would for sure be taking a cat nap on the roof. Shigure was either typing away, harassing his editor in the middle of the desert in some remote country, or at his cousin Ayame's. 

She removed her shoes, padding into the kitchen and preparing herself for a large lunch. Her mood was one of mixed emotions; she felt content at having visited Akito and brightening his day with some tulips. Although she knew he had no idea anyone but Hatori was in the room, it had made her feel better about the frightening man. But Tohru also felt guilty about lying to her friends, and decided that she would make it up to them.

With practiced grace and efficiency, Tohru set about rolling rice in nori, filling riceballs, making miso soup, grilling fish, and a number of other equally skill-testing occupations. 

When she was done, the entire table was filled with plate after plate of steaming, aromatic food. Tohru then set about summoning her housemates; she walked down the hall towards Shigure's office, knocking lightly on the door.

"Yes?" Shigure asked.

"Lunch is ready, Shigure-san," Tohru told him. She skipped back up the stairs towards the roof, and poked her head out through the trap leading up to it.

Tohru sighed, giggling slightly at Kyou's relaxed, sleeping face. "Kyou-kun," she said quietly.

"Uhn, Tohru," Kyou replied in his sleep, shifting. Tohru poked him lightly. He opened one eye, barely registering her. "What is it?" he asked, his voice thickly tainted with annoyance.

"Lunch is all ready," she informed him, smiling. Kyou blinked as the girl disappeared back to the hallway.

She passed Shigure, who was seating himself down at the table. "Where are you going? What about eating?" he asked. Tohru shook her head.

"Yuki is outside I think," she informed him. Shigure pondered this for a moment, before nodding. She bowed lightly and turned, hurrying out the door.

"Yuki-kun! Lunch is ready!" she called behind the house. Hoping he had heard her, she went back inside and seated herself just as Kyou shuffled sleepily to his cushion.

They all assembled for lunch, and Tohru felt herself beam with happiness as the three boys gladly ate their meals. They were too busy eating to notice her radiant smile, but they felt it all over. She must have had fun with Hanajima, Yuki decided. Kyou didn't think twice about it, and instead focused on dismembering a riceball in his mouth. In his rush to eat the delicious item, he had put the whole thing in between his jaws and was having trouble getting around it. Shigure merely swallowed a noodle politely, eager to get past his appetizer-like dishes and be the first to get his paws on the fish.

Tohru's mind drifted as she cleaned up after the meal. Although she had felt frightened and on edge when she first entered Akito's presence, the action of sitting beside him seemed to have put her in a daydream of a trance. There was a certain calmness around the main house then that she could never hope to discover anywhere else in her busy life; and certainly, Hatori got some much-needed rest. If that was what was required to make him get some sleep, then that's what she would do.

Tohru nodded her head. She would go again, and maybe, just maybe, Akito would recognize her.

***

Hatori had begrudgingly agreed to Tohru's proposal. He rather liked her company, even if it wasn't in his or Akito's best interests. They needed her there, he decided. She brought a bright, cheery mood that could raise the spirits of even the darkest members of the family. Even Momiji needed some of the rejuvenation that only Honda Tohru could provide.

Hatori sat in front of Akito's door, leaning against the wall. Despite his dignity and pride, the doctor couldn't stay on his feet any longer. The feverish Akito had been lashing out in his sleep the entire night, and no one had gotten a wink of downtime. 

Tohru walked down the hallway, kneeling beside the snoring Hatori. She was about to shake him awake, when she decided against it. He was getting what appeared to be his only rest in days, and she would feel horrible about disturbing it.

Unsure of what move to make next, she opted to go into Akito's room. Momiji had led her inside, and told her where she could find Hatori. The rabbit seemed too tired and distraught to do much else, so she had insisted he go to bed and that she would take care of things. Not that she knew what "things" were or how to go about it, but she would try.

Tohru lifted the bag she had been carrying onto her shoulder as she opened the sliding shoji panel door. She left it ajar, just in case of an emergency. "Good morning, Akito-san," she greeted formally. She waited for a moment, in case he had regained some form of consciousness. There was no reply.

She kneeled down some feet away from his futon. His breathing was heavy, and he appeared to be in some form of wakefulness. Tohru looked at the flowers, smiling lightly; they brightened the dark room.

She stood, walking in a wide circle around the room towards the pair of doors leading to the outdoors. It was a wonderfully bright and warm day, and the air in the room was becoming stifling. She opened one door onto the porch, where she stepped out, and saw a orange-haired man, panting, his face screwed up in anger.

"Kyou?"


	8. Tempers

Keep up the great reviewing. ô_ô

8: Tempers

Tohru stared with wide eyes at Kyou. His orange hair was bristling, and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"Kyou..?" she asked nervously as she stepped off the porch and onto the grass. He lunged at her, grabbing her shoulders in his hands.

"Are you insane?!" he shouted. Tohru's eyes flew wide, and she raised one hand in hopes of quieting him. She felt no desire to wake Akito or Hatori.

"Kyou..."

"Don't 'Kyou' me! What are you doing here?!" Kyou demanded louder. Tohru tried to pat his arm again in hopes of calming him, but it only infuriated him further. "You lied to us!" he cried, his muscles coiling from rage and hurt. 

Tohru shivered, her eyes clenching. She had never seen him this mad before. This wasn't scolding or despair; it was simple anger. Simple, dangerous anger. She felt her arms begin to go numb under the enormous pressure he was applying to her shoulders, and her head began to swim from fright and confusion.

Tohru raised her eyes, which were brimming with tears. "I'm sorry!" she burst suddenly, tears streaming down her face. "I didn't want to worry you! I wanted to-"

"I don't care what you wanted to do! You put yourself in danger by being here alone!" he cried back at her. His lip rose, and he swallowed heavily at the tears flowing freely from her bright green eyes.

"I'm not alone..." she whispered. "I'm sorry, Kyou-kun." She looked at him, sincere and apologetic in every meaning of the words. Kyou felt his anger melting away, but he kept a look of frustration on his face.

"We're going home," he growled, grabbing her hand roughly. Tohru let out a squeak, and he immediately faced her, dropping her wrist.

"But, Akito-san..." she said quietly. She looked back at the doorway, stepping towards it.

Kyou hovered for a moment. Looking at her passionate, tear-streaked face, he felt his insides churning and immense self-hate rising. He had completely blown his top, and at the most innocent, faultless person in his life.

"Tohru," he said, attracting back her attention.

"Please forgive me, Kyou-kun... I knew you and Yuki-kun would be worried and-" Kyou put his hand under her chin, lifting it.

"Why are you here? Why did you lie to us?" he asked, his voice strained. The moment he had weaseled Tohru's whereabouts from the cornered and cowed Shigure, Kyou had sped like a bullet from the house, his wrath tumultuous inside him. He wasn't angry at Tohru... he was angry at his only friend being usurped from him. And he had taken it out on her, of all people.

Tohru lowered her head, her hair falling in front of her eyes. "Last time I saw Akito-san, he was so angry, so sad..." she turned, lifting her hand to her mouth. "I wanted to try to... try to help him before he died..."

Kyou stepped back, looking upwards. It figured completely. "I'm sorry!" Tohru said again, looking pale and slightly frantic. She always panicked when she did something remotely wrong, or when someone close to her was angry. Kyou looked back at her, shyly patting her shoulder.

"Calm down... I should not have yelled..." he was still remarkably hoarse, straining from getting angry again. "Just come home." With that, he turned on his heel and left.

Tohru stood in the lawn, her eyes wide, her cheeks red from crying. Kyou disappeared into the trees as quickly as he had come, and the girl was completely bewildered. She felt terrible, her heart rising into her throat at the thought of betraying her two friends and causing such a disruption for them. She dropped her head, walking back up into Akito's room and closing the door.

She sat down lightly. "I have to leave. Please forgive me for not staying longer," she said. She didn't know if he heard her or not, but he gave no response. Tohru stood up, lifting the bag beside her. She paused for a moment, then walked over to the desk. Setting down the bag, she looked over at Akito. "I suppose Hatori will find this... I hope you like them."

Tohru walked out through the door, wiping her face before closing it. She saw Hatori still asleep, and walked down the hall in silence, her head low. Hatori had one eye open, and he sighed. The confrontation outside had been enough to wake the dead, but nothing could wake Akito at this point, so he hadn't been very worried. He hoped Kyou could convince Tohru into going home and not coming back, and he wasn't sure what the verdict had been.

He opened the door, walking into the room. It was useless to request entrance to Akito, or even announce it. He noticed the bag on the desk, and raising one eyebrow, lifted it and parted the two canvas handles.

Inside was a small black bento box, a cute comic book, a toy piccolo and some other childish things. There was an art book pressed against the side of the bag and two summer-books were crammed in beside it. Hatori set the bag back down; he would have to contact Tohru about returning it.

***

Tohru came inside the house quietly. She had taken her time walking home, her thoughts flying in every direction. She took off her shoes in the entryway and padded in her socks towards the table, where the late morning sun was streaming inside in long, golden strips. She knew where to find Kyou.

Tohru walked slowly up the stairs, unsure of what to think or expect. She had never seen Kyou act that way before or be that genuinely angry... he had scared her. It had been so wrong to lie to them, so wrong to defy...

Her thoughts were interrupted when she found herself peeking over the ladder that led up to the roof. Kyou was lying on the shingles, legs crossed, arms folded behind his head. He was staring thoughtfully at the sky, and Tohru almost felt guilty about disturbing him.

Kyou lifted his head, obviously having noticed her as soon as she appeared. Tohru climbed onto the roof, keeping her eyes on the shingles. She jumped when she felt Kyou's warm hand on her own.

"I can't stop you from doing what you want to do. Just... be careful." He lifted his usually cold, angry red eyes. Tohru blinked at his worn and cautious face. Kyou lifted one lip in a small, lopsided, cynical grin. "Please, if anything, for me."

"Kyou... It is something I have to do," Tohru told him in a quiet voice. Kyou nodded slowly.

"You're important to us. We don't want to lose you... I don't want you to suffer the same pain we have had to," he said, gripping her hand in his. He raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly. 

"I'm sorry, Kyou," Tohru said, lightly taking her hand away. "I feel this obligation in my heart," she touched her chest, "and I must fulfill it." She stood up, crouching to walk down the ladder.

"Tohru!" Kyou called. Tohru lifted her head over the roof. "You won't leave us, will you?"

Tohru smiled and shook her head. "No. Not now, anyway. I'll be here as long as you need me." With that she disappeared.

***

"Are you sure it's alright to be here?" Hatori asked. Tohru gave him a questioning look.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she countered, rather boldly. Hatori furrowed his brow.

"Well... you left in such a hurry yesterday..." Tohru raised her eyebrows. "Er, I mean, I didn't see you go..." Tohru shook her head.

"I already know everyone heard Kyou yesterday. I... I sorted it out. Thank you very much for your concern, Hatori-san." Tohru bowed, walking past him down the hallway toward Akito's room. She had woken up early to cook breakfast especially for the cat, and then parted for the main house. She was definitely getting much needed exercise, walking back and forth every day. 

Momiji had greeted her at the front gate, seeming slightly more cheerful. Tohru knew that many of the Honke's residents had overheard Kyou's outburst, and Momiji's enthusiasm reinforced that assumption. She had passed through the courtyard towards Akito's villa and had accidentally bumped into Ritsu. He had apologized profusely before Tohru managed to calm him down.

"Ri-chan-san!" Tohru had said with a grin. Ritsu smiled back, straightening his white shirt and tie. "You appear so business-like. Where are you going, looking so handsome?" Ritsu immediately blushed.

"I got a nice job downtown," he replied, his outside happiness crushed by the darkness of the main house. He had smiled rather sadly before turning and departing.

"You left your bag here as well," Hatori called, just as she went to open the door. Tohru raised her eyebrows. "It's still inside."

Tohru nodded, opening the door and closing it behind her. "Good morning, Akito-san," Tohru said, bowing before taking her canvas handle bag off the desk. She set it beside her, kneeling a foot or two away from Akito's bed. He remained silent and unmoving, and Tohru assumed the same status.

She watched the uneven rise and fall of his breaths, and felt her mind wandering. Tohru lifted a smaller bag off her shoulder, taking out a thin, scratched skirt and a small, portable sowing kit. She set about to fixing it, her skilled fingers weaving and repairing the injured cloth. She barely noticed when she began to hum, lightly singing a song her mother had taught her when she was younger.


	9. Awakenings

NieA: Well... about that. I had tried to get across that he thought more of her without coming out and _saying_ it... but I guess I should have. I don't know; get out of it what you can, sometimes not everything the author intends the reader to understand really gets noticed. Make of it what you like. ^_^

9: Awakenings

I could hear music. It wasn't an instrument, or a song, or a recording device of any kind... it was a soft, motherly sound that enveloped me in my world of darkness. It was a comforting tune; one that should have been sung to a baby being rocked by its mother. I was a baby in this world, raw and unreal, blocking out all pain and suffering just to exist in this darkness.

As I felt my black mask slipping away from me, the sound became more and more real. It was a hum, and it forced me to acknowledge it. My consciousness slowly came back to me, and I could no longer hide.

I could remember nothing since I had fallen sick. Nothing, except for the smell of flowers. I assumed that Hatori had brought in some for me, but I had never guessed he had any sort of interest in such things, or that he cared enough to bring them. The smell had been so close to me, so real and wonderful, I had to ask him about it. Although I had processed the reply and given a well-rounded, cynical remark on them, I couldn't really remember actually hearing Hatori's voice. It was as if I could only see and hear through my subconscious, and everything else was caught in the filter of my brain.

But now... now, I was awaking. I felt as if a healing presence had followed me into my abyss, and the voice of some savior was pulling me from my haze. I didn't want to leave; I didn't want to return. I was supposed to die, to leave this plane and finally move on. They didn't need me... didn't want me. Those cursed animals. I bore the weight of the curse, and all they could do was cower in fear of me! They were pathetic, inbred animals, and I wanted no more to do with them. I had loved them. They were my family... But they were afraid of me! I can never forgive them for such sins against me!

I felt myself regressing, my memories traveling backwards, hoping against hope to keep me away from the real. Keep me away so I could die in peace and be no longer forced to accept my fate. I could hear the sweet song of my mother, her soft arms, my world as it had once been. But it no longer existed, and I could no longer keep my dying body alive.

I wanted to go, but I felt myself being pulled back. It wasn't a force or a coercion... it was a sweet lulling, a seduction of the real world. I could do nothing to stop from opening my eyes.

***

Tohru stopped in her knitting as she saw a brief movement on the futon. As soon as her humming came to a halt, so did the shuffling of blankets. "Akito...-san?" Tohru asked hesitantly. Her voice was quiet and soft, and the futon moved again.

"Hatori..." came a hoarse, choked voice.

"Do you need water? Food?" 

"Hatori, why do you sound so strange?" Akito responded, the words almost indecipherable as he muttered them into the thick blankets surrounding him.

Tohru looked at the sliding door of the room, hoping that Hatori would show himself so she wouldn't have to respond. But the doctor was nowhere in sight, so Tohru prepared herself for whatever consequences she would incite.

"I'm not Hatori," she told him. Akito shifted again.

"Hatori, what was that sound?" he asked, as if refusing to believe her. His voice was still whispered and cracked, but his fingers managed to find their way to the edge of the blanket.

"What sound?"

"It was... humming... You weren't humming, were you, Hatori?" the still invisible man asked in a rather challenging tone.

"I apologize, Akito-san. I was humming while I knitted," Tohru replied, keeping herself calm. If she were to burst into apologetics, it would surely disturb the sickly Akito.

His voice became more skeptical. "Why are you knitting, Hatori? Are you becoming a woman?" Akito snorted.

"I am a woman," Tohru replied, trying her hardest not to burst out her identity.

"Hatori, this is no time to be making jokes," Akito said sternly. His hoarse voice was becoming angry.

Tohru stood up, taking a glass off the desk. It was still there from the day before, but she had no time to go and order another one. She kneeled beside him again, setting down the glass. "Would you like some water, Akito-san? You haven't eaten or had a drink in three days," she told him.

"Three days?" There was a short silence. "Yes."

Tohru moved to set the water beside him, before realizing he would never know it was there. She lightly lifted his fingers, her insides swelling from fear as she placed the glass in his hand. He shook, water coming dangerously close to spilling on him.

Akito slowly lifted his head from beneath the cover of blankets, his eyes still closed. His face was white and drained of all life, and his hair clung to his cheeks and ears. Tohru guided the water towards his mouth, and watched with fascination as he steadily took a sip.

That seemed to satisfy him, for a small push on her hand seemed to signal him forcing her away. "Your hands are so small and womanly," he commented. "There's something wrong with you, Hatori."

Tohru made no reply, and Akito lay his head on the pillow. He seemed to have gone back to sleep, so Tohru watched him for a moment before resuming her knitting. Before she knew what was happening, she was humming a light, jolly song as well.

Akito tried to force his eyes open. That humming of Hatori's was severely irritating him; no man, especially his own personal doctor, should act so fruity. His fingers were delicate and thin; his voice was feminine and sweet. Akito wanted to tell him to go and take some lessons on acting manly. Or hit him. That would make him feel much, much better.

He finally gave up, rendering himself to sleep. It would be his first real sleep in days; he had been locked inside himself before, his mind challenging his fading body. But this time, he could get some real, rejuvenating sleep.

Then he could hit Hatori.

***

"Tohru?" Hatori peeked into the room, glancing around. It had been over two hours since she had arrived, and he was getting worried. There were no sounds coming from the room; he thought he had heard whispering about an hour before, but he assumed it had been the rustle of the trees outdoors or a servant shuffling down the hallway.

Tohru sat beside Akito's bed, humming as she knitted. She had completed the repairing of the skirt, and was using colored yarn to make a strangely small, thin sweater. The object looked a bit awkward, and seemed too little for even a toddler. How many toddlers did a girl like Tohru know? Hatori shook his head.

Tohru glanced up, smiling as she saw him. She slowly got to her feet--so as not to wake Akito--and trotted across the room towards him.

"Hello, Hatori-san. How can I help you?" she asked politely.

"He hasn't woken up at all, has he?" he asked. Tohru shook her head.

"Akito-san woke up about an hour ago. He thought I was you," she said with a slight giggle, "and I gave him some water. He went back to sleep..." she trailed off for a moment, looking thoughtful. "He seems to really be asleep now, Hatori-san. He wasn't asleep before."

Hatori raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"

"Akito-san was unconscious before, right? His breathing was different, and he seemed more... feverish and..." Tohru looked for the right words. "Involuntary. But now, he seems relaxed."

Hatori stared at her. At first he had been surprised that she knew such articulate words; now, he was surprised that she could tell Akito's state, even though he was unconscious.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked, then mentally smacked himself. He had intended to sound like he was relieving her of a post, but it had come out like he was sending her away.

Tohru lowered her head. "Yes, if I am a bother to Hatori-san," she said. Hatori shook his head.

"No, no, not at all. In fact, you are just the opposite. You are free to stay if you like, I just thought that you might have been hungry or homesick," he said. He was rather surprised at the ramble-like tone of his voice.

Tohru nodded and smiled. A kind word from anyone could always lift her spirits, Hatori thought. That's why being near Akito could be so dangerous for her... negative words could have the exact opposite effect.

"Would you like something to eat?" Hatori asked. Tohru was about to refuse, when her stomach made a loud, embarrassing sound. "I'll take that as a yes," the doctor said, trying his hardest to prevent a grin. He turned and walked back down the hallway.

Tohru smiled and walked back into Akito's room. She sat down beside his bed, resuming her knitting.


	10. Weaknesses

10: Weaknesses

I woke to the sound of my bedroom door opening, then quietly sliding closed. Someone stepped across the room towards me, but I found that I completely and utterly lacked the strength to move. My eyes were too weak to open, and my mouth could only remain with my lips slightly parted. I could not even move my body to face whoever had come inside.

"Are you hungry?" asked Hatori. Am I hungry? I haven't eaten in two days. The last time I got anything in my stomach was when I somehow managed a drink of water out of Hatori, when he had been sitting by my bed and humming. He was probably sick, too. I wondered if it was contagious.

I felt a spoon lightly touch my lips, and the only thing I could do was weakly flex my tongue. It was some sort of shake or smoothie that had not been diluted with ice, so it wasn't freezing in my mouth. Although it took some recuperating of my energy, I managed to swallow the rather gross-tasting substance.

This sort of feeding continued for some time, and it was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life. I was being fed, like a baby, by Hatori. Ugh. I tried not to focus on it, letting my mind wander to other things.

When Hatori left me, I immediately went to sleep. By this time, I was having violent, terrible dreams, but I was too weak to move or cry out while I rested. So I took them one at a time, hoping that my death would come quickly. I should have refused that food, I thought in hindsight. I made a note to do that next time.

I woke up again when I felt the vibrations of the door opening once more. I sighed inwardly, and wished I had the energy to tell Hatori to leave me alone. If I was going to die, I wanted to do it in peace, by myself in my own bedroom.

"Good morning, Akito-san," I heard. That, most definitely, was not Hatori. It was a woman's voice, and it sounded familiar. I tried to place it.

I heard her walk across the room, and sit down only a foot or two away from my bed. She seemed comfortable almost immediately, as if it was routine.

"I hope you are doing well," she said. "I'm sorry I was late this morning. I went to my part-time job last night."

It was hurting my head. I couldn't figure out exactly who she was; no woman that I knew of in the Sohma family worked a part-time job. She wasn't a maid or a servant, and there was no one else who would take any time out of their day to come see me.

That made me bitter. I had gotten no visitors, and no one except Hatori ever came into my room. I was completely alone, and it should have made me sad that the family I tried to protect wouldn't even come see me on my death bed!

As I felt the anger rising, a sudden sound interrupted my dangerous train of thought. It was that infernal humming again! Then it wasn't Hatori, yesterday? My thoughts centered on this one point now; it was true. I didn't remember actually hearing Hatori's voice. I only heard a soft, almost comforting hum, and felt a strange, feminine touch.

Yes, whoever this person was had been here yesterday. And I had shown so much unforgivable weakness. I wanted to attack. I wanted to hit her. How could she have done that?! How could she have come in and been there and hand-fed me water, and I didn't know?

And suddenly, a light went on. That voice. That hum. The only one in the family who came to visit me wasn't even _in_ the family.

It was that girl. That irritating, aggravating, do-gooder girl. Honda Tohru. And there was nothing I could do about it.

***

Tohru kneeled beside the bed, continuing her knitting on the sweater. She smiled brightly, holding up the almost finished product. "I hope Ayame likes it," she thought out loud. She sighed. Since the day she had discovered the transformed Ayame in her shirt, she had decided to give him something to warm himself up when he was in his snake form. Shigure had broadly mentioned that the dress store owner's birthday was approaching, and Tohru had wanted to make him something special. On the side, she was also making some rather colorful socks for Mine, regarding a conversation she had overheard between the bouncy girl and Ayame regarding socks.

Tohru stopped for a moment to watch Akito's drawn, difficult breathing. He seemed to be struggling for the very strength to keep himself alive, and Tohru felt her heart constrict. Unconsciously, she felt herself lean forward, until she realized she was about to fall over. She put her hand down, avoiding touching Akito, but succeeded in applying pressure to his blankets.

"Akito-san! I'm so sorry! I was just concerned... are you hungry? Do you need water? I didn't mean to wake you up!" she immediately jumped into apologetic hysterics.

Tohru paused, forcing herself to calm down. Many times she had been reprimanded by Kyou for her overreactions, and her current situation was one time which she wanted to keep herself under control. "Pardon me, Akito-san," she said in a quieter, less alarming manner. "Is there anything you'd like?"

Akito was frustrated. He could hear her plenty well, but he had no way of indicating anything to her. Oh, how he wanted her obnoxious voice to go away, her irritating presence to evaporate, and her infernal humming and pleasant comments to herself to cause her to choke herself. As he thought the rather violent latter, he felt his anger slightly draining away. Violence _was_ the solution to everything. People were afraid of violence, and they were even more afraid when they were unable to stop it. It was his ultimate weapon over the Sohmas, it was his only way to control them. He told himself that otherwise, they would never obey him, never listen to him.

He only wanted their own happiness, he only wanted to do what was good for them, even if it required violence. Why couldn't they understand that? Akito wanted so much to move. So much to tell the girl off, so much to order her memory erased.

But there was absolutely nothing he could do. Many, many people would be punished for this later. If he survived, that is.

Tohru had finally put the finishing touches on the small sweater when there came a light patter at the door. Hatori opened it, carrying a large tray.

"Hatori-san, shouldn't you be at work?" Tohru asked.

"And leave Akito alone? No. I'm taking a leave of absence for a while," he replied rather stoically. Akito snickered inwardly. So, Hatori was concerned about him? Or was he concerned for the girl? He made a mental note to torture the dragon about the issue later. Hatori never took Akito's roughness and violence personally, and it made him all the more fun to injure, both physically and mentally.

Akito listened as Tohru thanked Hatori numerous times for the food. Or maybe, he would hurt the girl. Punishing her in the most horrible of ways... yes. That would make the Jyuunishi cower before him. They would beg him not to harm her. Yes, Honda Tohru was their weak spot.

But he was in no shape to exploit it.

"Akito-san? Are you hungry?" Tohru asked, her voice kind and concerned. She lightly placed a bowl of warm miso soup in front of him. "I cooled it down, because soup that's too hot isn't good for you when you're sick," she said.

The soup smelled incredible. With no inkling as to why, Akito felt his nostrils flare slightly; the very flex of the muscles made him feel nauseous, and a small sound was released from his throat.

"I... uh... Hatori?" Tohru glanced around. She didn't want to leave Akito alone, especially with the soup in front of him, but Hatori had already left. "Oh... how does he do this?" Tohru stood up, walking as quietly as possible to the other side of Akito's futon, where she kneeled down beside him. She put a pair of chopsticks into the soup, stirring it nervously.

"I don't know how to do this," she said quietly. "I know you haven't eaten in a little while... so you won't mind a little soup?" Tohru fumbled around nervously, lightly drawing back the blankets from the ill man. She had long since figured out that he was awake, just unable to move in any way.

Akito was getting a sick pleasure out of her discomfort. He could make it even worse by refusing the food, he thought with an inner sneer. Yes. That sounded very good. Akito's confidence turned to confusion when he heard Tohru scooting away from him.

"I'm sorry, Akito-san. I don't have the right to do this. I'll find Hatori-san immediately, please forgive me," she said, her voice sounding tearful. Goodness, the creature could be so easily upset... but managed to hold her ground so well under his incredible pressure.

It was a powerful weapon. It was the little things that could injure her, the small refusals and insults that could make her really hurt. Forcing her, using his violence against her, would do nothing. He would have to use a better attack; his mind and his words.

But for now, he could do no more than lie like a rag, unable to move, speak, or see.

And the time being, dying would be so much easier.


	11. Confessions

It's good that people appreciate quick updates. I rather enjoy them myself, and I see no reason to wait a month to publish a five page issue. People get lost on the story and forget what's happening. This is why I believe in rapid updates, and they don't take that much time out of my schedule. I think about what I'm going to write, and I write it quickly. Not much else to it.

11: Confessions

Hatori sighed, trying again to get some food to the dying Akito. But he absolutely refused.

"There's nothing I can do, Tohru. He's either unwilling to eat, or he's too far gone to take it," he told her, his voice tinged with melancholy. Tohru gulped, turning away.

Without saying a word more, Hatori turned and walked across the room, opening the door to leave. He watched her with a sigh and a shake of his head. She was anguishing over someone who would never give her more than violence and reprimands, and probably didn't want to live anyway. He slid the door closed.

Tohru stood at the window, lightly pressing her palm on it. The air outside was warm, but she felt cold and tired against the soft heat. She padded lightly across the room, opening the sliding panel that led to the outdoors. There was a light, refreshing breeze drifting past, and Tohru welcomed it into the rather stifling room. "I hope Akito-san doesn't mind the doors open for a moment," she said, her voice quiet. "Fresh air is good for you."

Tohru looked outside at the soft, green grass, which made wave-like ripples as it was tossed about by the breeze. The rustling of nearby trees could be heard, alluding to the sound of a tranquil brook trickling down a rocky bed. The sky was a robin's egg blue, kept afloat by a few puffy, white, renegade clouds. The sun could not be seen from her westward view, but its rays she could feel on her skin.

Akito had felt something strange. The door was opened, and the feelings radiating around him were loud and very clear. Hatori was as cold and unfeeling as always, but the girl... Tohru. Akito had refused to be hand fed, like any respectable person, and the announcement that he would most likely die seemed to cause a sudden wave of woe. It wasn't a sorrowful or sad kind of feeling, but more of a deep loss. It was as if the girl had misplaced something that meant the world to her... and Akito felt a disgusting twist in his stomach that she was feeling that way about _him_. She was a monstrosity, and he suddenly couldn't control the anger rising in his throat. How dare she feel that way! How dare she mourn his illness and eventual death!

That was not her job. Not even his family was sad that he was leaving them. She had no right to substitute.

But then, the mood had changed. He felt a rather comforting, caressing breeze come in through the newly opened door. She spoke to him as if he were a conscious being, not a comatose man that everyone else assumed him to be. And then, he had felt a rather melancholy joy; over what, he wasn't sure. Maybe she was finally realizing how much him dying would be in her favor.

Akito had never been so curious in his life. Even when he was a child, wanting so much to leave the Honke and see other things, meet other children, he had never wanted to know the answer the way he did right then. She was a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and he absolutely had to figure her out.

He summoned every ounce of strength in his body. The energy he had saved from refusing to open his mouth, the sudden adrenaline from his uncontrollable anger... and he opened his eyes.

Beneath long lashes, Akito could see Tohru standing near the doorway. Her knees looked weak, and she had one hand on the frame of the sliding panels. She had a steady stream of tears spilling down her cheeks, but she had a bitter smile on her face. He could see the world outside; and it was beautiful.

The girl's hair was free. No ribbons, and definitely no makeup. Not that she needed any, but it was rather interesting. Every girl or woman Akito knew always wore lots of that pinkish substance, and it disgusted him. It was like painting clay on one's face. Her eyes told the world, and she looked as if she had lost something precious to her without ever acquiring it in the first place. Something she had wanted was gone.

Akito groaned as he found his eyes drifting closed. Lacking the strength to blink, they had grown watery and achy. Tohru immediately turned around, seeing Akito's eyes flittering about.

"Akito-san!" she said with concern, quickly stooping beside him. "Do you need something?" Tohru quickly took a fresh glass of water off the nearby desk and held it near him. She wiped the tears from her face, still not sure if she had been seen or not.

The world had just been too pretty. She was overwhelmed by its glory, and had been swept away in it. She had wanted so much to change Akito, to make him see that she wasn't evil and that his family would love him so much more if he just... just didn't hurt them. But when she had finally summoned the courage to see him again, he had fallen fatally ill. It wasn't fair.

Tohru had never thought that way before. She always assumed things happened for a reason. She knew that the curse was likely to kill Akito, but she could not bear someone so close to those she loved dying for such a rather... silly reason. Before she could try to make amends with him, he was going to die.

So she had cried. Tohru had cried tears into the beautiful breeze, the world too wonderful for her. If she couldn't help one person, then what was she for? She didn't deserve the glorious trees, the grass, the flowers or the baby blue sky.

Tohru put her face in her hands, the water still on the ground beside Akito's futon. She remained kneeled, and she hunched over as the tears came again. "I'm good for nothing. Shigure graciously gave me his home, but I only caused trouble. I cause trouble for Hatori coming here every day, and I cause worry for Kyou and Yuki when I leave by myself. I'm no good. It... it was even my fault that mother died. If I could only have woken up to say goodbye to her..."

Tohru gasped. She had been thinking out loud, her words coming in short breaths. Tears streamed down her face, and her throat clenched from her sporadic speech.

Without another word, Tohru had quickly gotten to her feet and fled the room. Why had she the sudden desire to speak? She had said everything, told Akito all her secrets, her pain. She leaned against the wall, holding her throat as a lump rose. Her heart was beating quickly, and she sniffed to hold back another wave of tears. She had suddenly become so emotional.

And her heart hurt. She was causing so many people so much trouble, and it was all her fault. Even Akito, telling him things he never wanted to hear. But he had no choice, because he was confined to his bed and had no control over what went on around him.

Tohru had taken advantage of him. The thoughts had come so suddenly, so painfully, she couldn't stop them. And now, they had cost her the pain of taking advantage of a sick person, who she had only wanted to help.

So utterly useless. She wiped her face, walking down the hallway. She found herself at Hatori's door, and lightly knocked. "Hatori-san? I'm sorry to disturb you, but I will have to go home now for today," she said, her voice barely audible. Hatori opened the door, taking in her appearance.

"What happened?" he asked. Tohru shook her head.

"I don't feel well. I'll come back tomorrow morning, if that is okay with you," she said. Hatori nodded slowly, watching curiously as the girl turned and walked out the door, stepping down the porch and closing it quietly behind her.

***

What was I supposed to think? I had never been so utterly confused in my entire life. I was a calm, collected person, until I was angry. When I was angry, I made everyone else pay for it. Because, it was always their fault that I was angry in the first place. But this had confused me.

Oh yes, I had made people cry before. They cried in agony, they cried in pain, they cried in sadness, and they cried in hate and anger. But people were selfish, and they always, _always_ cried for themselves. Cried for the pains they suffered, the pains I caused them.

They had never cried for me. Tohru had cried. She had cried for me, and cried for the world, and cried for the beauty that only she seemed to experience. Her face had been so overcome, so heavy and full of emotion. She was an open book.

Then she had spoken to me, as if she was spilling her heart without even realizing it. She had shut up immediately afterward, letting out a shocked gasp. She had quickly retreated my room, apologizing repeatedly.

And I had gotten even more confused. She was a whirlwind of changing emotions; first she was bittersweet over a pretty day, and then she was thinking out loud. I had never had any idea of the problem she knew she caused... Staying at Shigure's house. That had always bothered me. That rather not-so-generous dog letting a stray girl stay at his house? I briefly remembered something about her mother's death, but what she had said made me think about it. Was it her fault her mother had died?

It would have figured. She was such an overactive, emotional little being, she had probably accidentally killed her with a hot frying pan or something. I tried to snicker inwardly.

But it stuck with me, and I felt myself becoming angry again. She had disturbed my thoughts for the rest of the day. Another thing I noted to get my revenge on her for.


	12. Surprises

12: Surprises

Tohru stood before the front door of the house. She held a bag of groceries in one hand; she knew Yuki would be disappointed that he couldn't help her with her shopping, but she had wanted to be alone for a while. After acquitting the main house, she had been unable to stop the tears.

She didn't know what she was supposed to think, what she was supposed to do. Life had come to a sudden halt, and the sound of tires grinding to a stop on the tracks was loud and clear. Tohru wasn't sure what to make of anything, and such an instance was rare for her.

Tohru had a mindset: she took things as they came in strides, doing her best to keep her cool about the big changes in life. She always managed to pull through quickly and move on, hoping to keep up the spirits of those around her. And it always worked.

But suddenly, things had stopped. In one single moment, things had come crashing down all around her, and there was nothing she could do to prevent it. The realizations of all her faults, all her misdeeds, and all the problems she caused were a tremor, a sudden earthquake in her window to the world.

Without warning, the door burst open. Kagura plowed straight into Tohru, knocking her flat on her face.

"Tohru-kun?!" the girl cried, frantically helping up her friend. Tohru blinked.

"Oh no! The groceries!" Tohru cried, gasping at the food strewn across the porch. Kagura leaped into a fit of apologetics, but Tohru merely stood still. "It's alright, Kagura-san," she said. Kagura stopped mid-sentence, staring at the other girl.

"Tohru-kun? Are you okay?" she asked worriedly. "Here, I'll pick up the groceries!" Kagura set to picking up the fallen items, but Tohru put one hand on her shoulder.

"That's alright, Kagura-san. I'll get it," she said quietly. The seriousness in the usually smiling Tohru's voice caused Kagura to take a step back.

"...Tohru-kun?" she asked, but Tohru merely set the food back in her plastic bag and stood up, smiling weakly.

"Thank you, Kagura-san," she said, before opening the door and stepping inside. Kagura stood, dumbfounded.

Tohru walked into the kitchen, setting the bag onto the counter. She put one hand on her forehead. Shigure told her she was always welcome at their house, she thought. He really, truly didn't think her an inconvenience, did he?

She opened the refrigerator, slowly putting things in their respectful places. Tohru lightly closed the door, leaning against it. She thought about how pretty the day had been, how lucky she was to have friends like Hanajima and Uotani, and how much she enjoyed living with Shigure, Kyou, and Yuki.

Tohru smiled. Those simple thoughts could make her heart swell, and her lips to paint her comforting thoughts. Kagura stepped into the kitchen, silently standing at the entryway. Tohru looked distant, but was smiling. Maybe she was just having a bad day, the boar thought to herself.

Kagura walked away, her mind quickly moving past the event. "Kyooooonn-kun!" she cried, launching herself up the stairs. Tohru looked up as she heard a sudden cry:

"NOOOOOOO!!!!"

***

That night's incident was by mere chance.

Tohru waved goodnight to the other cleaning ladies, taking off her white bandana and unbraiding her hair. She walked on her usual route, her small handbag hanging from her shoulder. She usually didn't walk home alone at night, but Yuki had assumed Kyou would pick her up, since he had a student council issue to take care of late. Kyou had assumed Yuki would pick her up, because he was going to the dojo for some reason or another. Tohru really wasn't sure, but hadn't seen the need in telling either of them of the other's plans. It would be alright to walk home alone for just one night.

Tohru had been in a rather pleasant mood that day after getting back to the house. She had made a leisurely lunch, and no one at the table had assumed anything to be wrong. Kagura had had a love-fit and thrown Kyou a few miles out of town, so the serving of the meal was a bit later than usual.

Tohru held her breath as she walked into a dark alley. It was the only straight path from the main road to the off road which led towards the Sohma property Shigure resided on, and she was too tired to take the long about-road. She couldn't see a thing, but there weren't many houses nearby to obscure the starlight above. She began to hum, stepping lightly. Her spirits were high, and she was ready to come home and go to bed.

Tohru collided with something very suddenly. She let out a scream, and was followed by a sudden "Poof!" sound and a large cloud of smoke. Tohru coughed, waving it away. She felt a cold, smooth thing wrap around her leg.

"WAAAAAHHHH!!!!" she cried, tripping on the afflicted foot and tripping to the ground on her back. The thing began to slither about her ankle, and she screamed louder.  


"Shhh! Please!" came a familiar voice. Tohru immediately closed her mouth, her eyes wide. She felt the thing crawl up her leg, onto her shirt, and up _outside _of it to her face. It paused on her chest, and Tohru's rapidly beating heart was a loud pound in her ears.

A small, round head peeked through the darkness at her. It was a large, white snake.

"...Ayame-san?" Tohru whispered, her eyes still wide.

"Ah, my Tohru-kun! What are you doing about at this time of night?" the snake asked cheerily, slithering off of her. Tohru, still in shock, took a moment to respond.

"I was just walking home from my part-time job," she replied, finally getting the wind back into her enough to stand up and dust herself off. The snake wrapped flirtatiously around her ankle, and Tohru felt her cheeks turn a bright red. "Uh... Ayame-san..."

"And my brother didn't walk you home? He's just not a gentleman! Who knows what kind of _horrible_ things could happen to a pretty young girl out on the streets!" Ayame let out a melodramatic wail. "What possible circumstance could prevent my younger brother from taking care of Tohru-kun?"

Tohru scratched her head. "Well, uh, Ayame-san, he had student council," she replied in his defense. "If you don't mind me asking... Why are _you_ out this late as well?"

"Well... that's a bit of a story..." the snake replied. There was a sudden "Poof!" and a cloud of smoke. Tohru turned around swiftly. She had long gotten used to that sort of thing, and was quick and responding. "Now, the trick will be finding my beautiful red coat that I made... and because I made it, it's beautiful."

"Okay!" Ayame cried suddenly. Tohru jumped, turning around. Ayame grinned, his white hair perfectly groomed, no hair out of place. She blinked.

"Oh Tohru, lost and alone, all by herself in the big world!" Ayame moaned.

"Ayame-san..." Tohru said quietly, trying not to interrupt him. He stopped, blinking large, golden eyes. "I truly apologize for causing an inconvenience for you, but I really should get back. Kyou usually stays awake until I come home, and he needs his sleep," she said. Ayame grinned. She always kept everyone else in mind.

"Of course, of course, my dear lady! I shall walk you home!" he announced loudly. Tohru's eyebrows raised in surprise as Ayame took her arm--in a rather gentlemanly way--and began to march. "Tohru-kun! It has been a long time since you and my beloved brother visited the store! What have you been doing?"

Tohru lowered her head slightly. Ayame blinked, expecting her to blush and stutter in response. "It's... difficult," she said. Tohru immediately looked up, smiling brightly. "But I am with Yuki-kun and Kyou-kun and Shigure-san, and now Ayame-san! I am happy," she amended quickly.

Ayame, slightly confused, smiled back exuberantly. "That's wonderful, Tohru-kun! Mine wants to dress you up again... she said you were just perfect for all the outfits! You could be our model!" he continued on, his voice loud and bright. Tohru blushed and giggled.

"I would love to," she replied. Ayame grinned, straightening his coat.

"And then Tohru-kun could wear all of my wonderful creations! And she would look wonderful in them because they are wonderful too!" Tohru laughed, Ayame's lively dialogue raising her spirits.

"But Ayame-san," Tohru interjected, "I think I'll be okay from here." They stood at the path, which led into the trees for a ways to the house. Ayame blinked, staring into the darkness.

"My brother's beloved Tohru-kun, going all _alone_?! Never! I shall see you safely home!" he announced. Tohru blinked as she was swept off down the trail.

"Ayame-san, this is very kind of you, but shouldn't you be getting to your own bed right now?" she asked. Ayame paused, his smiling face faltering for a moment.

"Tohru-kun... what is too friendly?" Tohru raised her eyebrows.

"Pardon me? Too friendly?" Ayame nodded.

"With someone close to you..." he trailed off.

Tohru smiled lightly. "There is no too friendly. If your feelings are more than friendly, show them," she said wisely.

Ayame turned to her in surprise. "But what if you don't know how they feel about you?" he asked.

"Feelings have a way of showing themselves, regardless. If they care about you as more than a friend, you will know when the time is right," Tohru told him. "Tell... him or her how you feel. Then you are willing to show them your own feelings, and they will show you yours."

Ayame smiled. "Oh, Tohru-kun is just so wonderful! Just like me! We're made for each other," he laughed. Tohru giggled.

They arrived some minutes later at the house. Ayame released her arm, smiling and bowing. "Thank you for walking me home," Tohru said, bowing in response. Ayame only smiled and waved.

"Thank _you_, Tohru-kun!" He turned around, whistling happily as he walked away. Tohru tilted her head, waving as she walked back into the house and closed the door behind her.


	13. Curses

Sailor Panda - You're not rambling at all -- in fact, I rather like when someone analyzes my work. ^_^ Thank you very much. The thought I'm working off of is in the same vein... now I know why your work is so good. ^_~

This chapter was rather interesting for me, a step as a person. Exploring an eccentric person's mind is an intriguing experience.

13: Curses

I had been sleeping since that crazy girl left. I remembered, somewhere in the back of my mind, Hatori's voice urging me to open my eyes or eat something, but my subconscious ignored it and so did I. It was a pleasant feeling, the feeling of losing all ties to your body. I felt detached, but the relief I had expected didn't come.

Damn them! I was suffering for them, I was dying for them! Damn those ungrateful animals! If I couldn't have happiness, then why should they? That's why I threw a pot into Hatori's eye. That's why I hit Kisa as I passed. That's why I hated that girl!

She wanted to give all of them happiness. She was my worst enemy, and she would pay for it. Oh, how she would pay! I had tried in my own way to warn her. That's what that was, that's what I was doing! I was protecting her from the pain she would suffer in this family, and the pain she would undoubtedly inflict upon them. Why couldn't they appreciate that? Why did they have to fight me the way they did? They were so ungrateful! What a pack of lecherous hounds.

I heard a voice, then. It was her: Honda Tohru. Akito cringed inside. I didn't want to hear this now. I just wanted to sleep, despite the anger I felt boiling up inside me. It was like a caged animal, a vicious flame that wanted to leap out and wreak havoc upon the quiet neighborhood outside. 

I really didn't care at all about this stupid person. I heard her voice again. "Akito-san... Please, open your mouth," came a plea. I laughed inside. Yeah, like I was going to do what she asked. Did she know who she was talking to? Inferior little beast.

I had not anticipated my unconscious reaction. There was a smell; an aroma I had never encountered before. It was sugary, a very pleasant, mild scent. Closer to me there was the smell of miso soup, but it was different. It was of a perfume almost like the outdoors, as if I walking through a garden or a market of open-air produce markets. I could detect a faint breeze of a deep, mouth-watering spice, and I felt my mouth begin to tingle.

Then... I smelled something completely different. This was no food scent, no spice and no fresh vegetable. It was the aroma of flowers, complimented by a subtle fruit. It was sweet and alluring, as if it were a rose being held just beyond my reach.

"Do you need me to help you, Akito-san?" came the voice again. "Or... Please, eat something, Akito-san." And my mouth opened of its own accord.

I had tried to stop it, but I was too enraptured. Without sight and speech, your mind is rendered to your other senses. By now, my nose had completely overwhelmed me, and controlled the tiny piece of strength I had.

And, it was by far, the most delicious miso I have ever had in the entirety of my life.

***

Tohru almost let loose a cry of happiness as Akito suddenly opened his mouth. She slipped the wooden spoon inside, because chopsticks would have been too messy. He immediately closed on it, and Tohru's face grew bright and her eyes excited as Akito slowly began to chew.

Tohru had woken up early that morning. Yuki was still unaware of where she went in the mornings, but he never, ever pried into her private life. He safely assumed that she was going to one of her friends' houses for summer activities, and Kyou nor Shigure ever divulged any information to the mouse.

Kyou had seen her off, keeping his comments to himself. As usual, Tohru had made a rather generous breakfast, and set it in the refrigerator for the other men when they woke up. She had seemed so shaken the day before, he had hoped that she would give up her ridiculous escapade, but it seemed only to have steeled her resolve.

Hatori hadn't been surprised at her early arrival, because he rarely got much sleep anyway. But when she requested use of the kitchen for about an hour, not much had barred his way from obliging to the curious inquiry.

Tohru had spent the remainder of the morning buying fresh vegetables from the market and fixing the kitchen's rather depleted stock of spices and add-ins. She had made a small bowl of miso soup, a painstaking plate of salmon and yellow tail sashimi, and had candied a few ounces of banana.

Akito had been asleep, as expected, when she entered. Hatori warned her that her efforts were wasted, because the man simply would not eat anything. But as was characteristic, Tohru kept herself optimistic and found herself kneeling beside the clan head's futon.

Tohru removed the spoon from his mouth slowly, taking another dip into the dark brown bowl. Akito was resistant at first to open again, but something seemed to overrule his seemingly conscious rebellious actions. 

The miso was gone in very little time, and Tohru lifted one of the small sashimi rolls with the chopsticks. "Should I cut it up, first?" she asked. There was no reply. She thought for a moment, then lightly pried apart the item. Taking one half with the chopsticks, she deftly rolled it into a smaller, more efficient ball before offering it to him.

"I didn't know if you liked sweets or not, Akito-san, but Shigure-san and Yuki-kun always seem to like candied banana, so I made some for you. I hope it's okay that I used the kitchen... Hatori-san said it would be alright, because Haru-kun and Momiji-kun always sleep pretty late, and he doesn't eat breakfast, and that Ri-chan-san and Kagura-san would probably eat at Shigure-san's house this morning, and Kisa-chan and Hiro-kun already ate..." Tohru continued on for some moments, before coming back to the task at hand.

She lifted the plate of sweets, lightly taking one for herself. She hadn't had one since school had let out the year before, and it was a rare treat. Shigure didn't particularly like bananas, and she didn't like keeping them around if no one ate them. He would eat them candied, of course, but never plain. "Too stringy. I hate the peels," he had said.

"They're candied bananas."

Akito sucked in air suddenly. The smell had been so familiar, so warm and comforting.

__

"Mother, what are those?" A small, navy-haired boy sat at the table, his face rather pudgy from his young age. The rest of his body was comparatively frail, but his mother paid no mind.

"Bananas," she replied with a gentle smile. Kneeling at the small child's table, she set down the plate of chilled, candied white discs. The abnormally small child took one in his tiny fingers, slipping it into his mouth. His mother sat silently, as if waiting for his reaction.

"Mmm," was all he said as he chewed the odd item. He took another, and soon the plate was empty.

"Stuffing yourself, I see," she said, her voice tinted with amusement. The boy gave her a rare smile, and was immediately engulfed in an embrace.

Akito could do nothing to repress the memory. He steeled his mouth against the food propped against his lips, but gave in all too quickly. He lacked the strength to reject it, and his mind had grown weary of crying curses at Tohru as she fed him. Tired of demeaning her existence with blissful thoughts of revenge, thoughts of things he couldn't imagine other people having.

It was his and his alone. His mind, his desires to dominate. He was the ultimate. He was their god.

And he was being hand fed by a girl. A girl who then fed him candied bananas, and smelled of roses and fruit, and spoke to him as he really was.

He hated her. He hated her for the strength returning to his numb limbs, he despised her for the fluttering of his lashes as his eyes opened, and the sudden awareness of everything around him.

How he cursed.


	14. Flowers

14: Flowers

Tohru kneeled beside Akito's futon that day. She read a book, giggling when the main character did something silly; she let out a shocked gasp when something unexpected happened; and she sniffed after the occurrence of tragic events.

So engaged in the story was she, Tohru was unaware when there was a slight movement in the futon. Akito had fallen asleep some time after eating, and the sound of the girl laughing brought him out of his peaceful rest. She was obviously stifling giggles, and he could hear pages ruffling. His mind was a healthy fog, and he could recall nothing about the situation beside the warm taste of bananas in his mouth.

Akito slowly opened his eyes, his long, dark lashes blotting out his vision for some moments. He faced a slightly open door, and a soothing breeze drifted into the room. It caressed his slightly visible face, painting cool lines across his pale skin.

Tohru jumped at the sudden movement of Akito's head coming out from beneath his protective shell of blankets. "Akito-san?" she asked nervously. There was a heavy, stretched out moment of silence. It dragged on, accentuated by the silent breeze drifting into the room.

"Why is the door open?" Tohru set her book down, quickly standing up.

"I apologize, Akito-san. It was just really hot, and the air was making my throat hurt, and I thought fresh air would be good for you because the weather was nice out," she replied nervously. She put her hand on it and moved to close the sliding panel, but a wheeze from Akito stopped her.

"It's not unpleasant," he said. His voice was scratchy and was barely audible, but he had managed it. Tohru looked back at him, her face beaming. "What are you doing here?"

Tohru turned around, her face looking worried. "I heard Akito-san was ill, and I wanted to try to make him feel better," she told him, her voice quivering slightly. At first, Akito smirked inside; he had really scared her when he had grabbed her by the hair and threatened her violently. It was rather gratifying, until he saw she seemed more nervous about her own presence then about him.

Akito hissed. "I don't need your efforts," his whisper voice growled. Tohru nodded slowly, kneeling on the ground beside his futon. She lifted a tray he had failed to notice previously off the floor, her hands shaking as she held it. She bowed, and he could smell a familiar rosy scent. "What is that?"

Tohru blinked. "Pardon me?" she asked, looking startled.

Akito sniffed, letting out a growl. "What is that smell?" he demanded again, sounding as if his vocal chords were struggling to utter more than a strained choke. Tohru's nervousness increased, and a drop of sweat could be seen on her forehead.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied honestly, still holding the trembling tray in her hands. Akito hissed. He saw one small, candied banana still on a plate next to the empty bowl of miso, but didn't say anything on the matter. She had probably caused his cooks a great deal of trouble with such a request.

"It must be those flowers!" he decided, coughing slightly. Tohru moved to put down the tray and attend to him, but he narrowed his eyes at her from beneath the blankets. "Remove them at once. I hate their smell." Tohru nodded slowly, walking over to the vase and removing the flowers. She placed them on the mat at the bottom of the tray and bowed. Without another word, she acquitted the room.

Akito lay for some moments, his eyes still half open. He moved one stiff limb, drawing the white blankets up around his face. Damn girl. She should have just left him alone.

***

"Tohru?" Hatori asked, watching as Tohru passed his doorway. She turned to him with a questioning expression.

"I was just leaving. Thank you for letting me use the kitchen," she said with a smile. Hatori blinked.

"It's still early," he commented thoughtfully. Tohru only shook her head.

"I don't think Akito wants me around," she replied, merely shrugging. Hatori raised his eyebrows.

"I wasn't aware that he was able to express such thoughts."

Tohru cocked one eyebrow slightly. "He told me he didn't like the flowers, and he didn't really need me. He is Akito-san, and he is right," she replied. "I will call you." With finality, Tohru turned and passed the open doors outside, closing them behind her.

Hatori tilted his head thoughtfully, then rose to his feet. Padding down the hallway, he lightly opened Akito's door.

"May I come in?" he asked. He heard a slight shuffling sound.

"Hatori?" came a quiet, grinding voice. Hatori walked inside swiftly, looking at the man now lying on his back. His eyes were open, and he regarded the doctor with a bored expression.

"I assume you are feeling better?" Hatori asked. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. He had respect for Akito, and would never blame anything on the boy, even his actions. He was a result of circumstance and consequence, but Akito was the source of all the Jyuunishi's problems. With his death, there would be only another miserable soul to follow.

"No," Akito replied. There was a silence, and Hatori unconsciously gulped. A strange smell permeated the air; it was a combination of a natural breeze, which drifted in through the open sliding panels, and a sweet, flowery smell. Usually, Akito's space reeked of musk and sterility, because the frail man had a compulsive peeve of things natural and unclean. But he had failed to object, and Hatori didn't mind the change at all. 

"Are you hungry?" Hatori tried again. He remembered Tohru making food for Akito, but she hadn't expressed the results of her endeavor.

"No." The response was swift and emotionless, as was most of Akito's speech. Hatori stood in the doorway for some moments more, before the bluish-haired man broke the silence. "Is there anything else?"

Hatori shook his head. "Nothing," he replied, before turning and closing the door behind him. Something had happened in there.

People on their death beds didn't just magically recover. Temperamental children didn't suddenly change their tolerance levels. And Akito never, ever tolerated leaving or entering without proper salutations.

***

Tohru smiled brightly as she was greeted by a familiar head of orange hair outside her work building. She waved. "Kyou-kun!" she called. The boy turned, nodding at her silently.

"Work was well?" he asked. Tohru grinned and nodded.

"Momiji-kun helped me today! He pushed the cart for me," she told him enthusiastically. Kyou never had the heart to tell her the rabbit just liked her more than anyone else he had met before. "Kyou-kun," Tohru said, getting his attention.

"Yeah?"

Tohru glanced at her feet nervously. "I need to go by the store. The flower shop isn't open at night, but there is a late night grocery store that closes in a few minutes. Is that alright?" she asked.

Kyou raised his eyebrows. "What for?"

Tohru bit her lip. "Akito-san didn't like the other flowers I brought..." she said. Kyou grunted loudly.

"Don't go there anymore!" he growled. "Especially if he doesn't like the flowers you brought for him."

Tohru looked up. "He just didn't like how they smelled!" she said in Akito's defense. Kyou raised one eyebrow. "If I brought some different ones, I'm sure he would like them."

The cat sighed. It was absolutely useless to argue with her about anything, and she always managed to get emotional about his always rude or harsh objections.

"Fine. But this is the last time," he conceded. Tohru smiled widely, blushingly linking her arm with his.


	15. Demands

I apologize for the... slowness of this chapter. The power went out earlier today when I had done over two pages, and I lost all of it, and I had trouble remembering what I said. But, so is life.

15: Demands

It had been such a boring day. Everyone was preparing for the New Year's party in the Inner House, so there was no way I could find any sort of peace until the sun went down. Hatori and Momiji had been missing most of the day, and Shigure had stopped by to help out and see how the party preparation was coming along. This activity forced me to retire to my room near the outside of the Honke, where I could be free of the hustle and bustle. I hated activity and loud noises, and the quiet presence of my birds put some semblance of calm in my life. Calm was what I craved, but I was always the one to break it... to break the calm. It wasn't my fault.

Nothing was my fault. It was all those damn animals' faults. Everything was.

I leaned out the window, sighing. My little white bird tittered at me, but I couldn't sympathize with its exuberance. I missed Yuki at times; not because he was the rat--the strongest, the smartest, the most clever member of the Jyuunishi--but because he was so much fun to make miserable. He was a strong spirit wrapped in a weak one; he could be made to cry so easily, but his heart was difficult to break. I was proud of myself. I had made him cold, I had made him ice. I had made him fit his name of Yuki: snow. He was like the snow, which was falling just outside my open window.

But this snow was a gentle, bright sort of snow. I hated the cold, and I hated the snow, and the ice, and the rain... but I hated the sun, too. I hated what was exuberant, honest, what was real, and what was not quite perfect.

I had let the girl stay with them. Why? Because I wanted to hurt them. I wanted to make them see that no one, no one but me could make them truly happy. I wanted them to love her, to cherish her, and eventually cause her to be broken. They would be broken, just like Hatori. Then they would love me.

__

Eventually, she would learn the cat's secret. Eventually, she would be unable to bear the weight of the curse, unable to do what I could. And she would destroy everyone who loved her, and they would come to me, looking for solace and happiness. I would give it to them, and they would love me.

I crossed my arms when I heard the sound of people talking. My bird was startled, and flew away; a single feather fell on the face of a surprised, brown-haired girl. She followed behind Shigure, who was talking merrily about something or other.

She had wide, green eyes. She looked average in every meaning of the world; brown hair, ribbons, and she wore a pink, turtle-necked dress with a brown jacket over it.

I stared at her. This was the girl I had permitted to live at Shigure's house. She stopped walking, and looked at me with surprise and innocent wonder. Was I that interesting to look at? I lowered my eyebrows and drew back into the house with a swish of my yukata.

Tohru lightly knocked on Akito's door. "May I come in, Akito-san?" she asked. There was no response. Assuming him to be asleep, Tohru opened the door. She walked across the room, taking the bouquet of sunflowers and lilies to the desk. She set them inside the vase, humming pleasantly as she arranged the flowers.

Akito had hoped his harsh words towards the girl the day before would have gotten rid of her, but he was wrong. Although the thought of the miso soup she had obviously made herself seemed good to his tongue, his brain objected vehemently. Hatori had attempted to bring him dinner, but he had refused to speak nor open his lips to the meal. The doctor had given up swiftly and left.

The smell was there again. Akito dared to sniff the air, and sure enough, there it was. The scent of roses, tinted by a fruity sweetness. That slut! She was probably wearing perfume. Sweet, alluring perfume, so she could seduce them, his family, and turn them against him! 

Akito's mind went off on a tandem. She was probably plotting at that very moment. "Why are you wearing perfume?" he asked finally, his train of thought circling in like a hovering vulture. He was testing to see if his prey was dead; then he would swoop in for the meal.

"E-excuse me?" Tohru asked nervously. She looked genuinely confused.

Akito told himself he wasn't paranoid; his fears could probably be chalked up to illness. But it went without saying that he was angry. His chest hurt as he spoke, and his mind was fuzzy.

That was how it had always been. "Perfume. You're wearing perfume," he snarled at her in a barking whisper. Tohru stared at him, and he began to wonder if maybe she was as stupid as he thought she was. Maybe more.

"N-no, Akito-san," she replied quietly. "I don't w-wear perfume." He hissed. She wasn't wearing perfume? The smell pervaded his nose, making him absorb it, feel it. And he hated it.

"Leave."

Tohru raised her head, looking surprised. "Akito-san...?" she asked. Akito glared at her from beneath his deep purple-blue locks.

"Leave," he snarled at her. Tohru nodded hastily, quickly standing up. She looked flustered, and kneeled down beside him to pick up her things.

"Akito-san..." Tohru addressed him as she stood up, walking towards the door. "Why?" Akito blinked, finally turning in his futon so he could see her just over the blankets.

"Why _what_?" Akito was growing frustrated. The strange smell was causing him to become distracted, and he wanted that stupid girl to go away before he thought more of it. He couldn't stand her presence. She was so determined to be by his side, it was making his mind become red and diluted with gross, destructive thoughts.

"-to leave?" Akito blinked. He had completely missed the first half of her sentence, but he understood the meaning.

How dare she question his orders? Akito began to fume. "LEAVE!" he cried, his voice coming out as a hoarse, choked croak. Tohru immediately rushed by his side, offering a glass of water. His throat clenched and unclenched, and he was unable to move as she lightly put the glass to his lips.

"Please, drink!" she said, touching his face with one thumb. He jerked from the contact, and a bit of water fell into his mouth. The liquid trickled down his sore, scratchy throat. He relaxed against the steady flow, swallowing the smooth fluid, his tongue trembling against the cup's glass rim.

"Shh," Tohru said unconsciously, her thumb still on his cheek.

Akito coughed suddenly, the water trickling down the wrong pipe. Tohru immediately put down the cup, closing her eyes as he continued to cough painfully. Nervously, she put one hand underneath his head, propping it up. She patted as lightly as she could on his shoulders as he convulsed from wracking spasms in his throat.

He began to calm slightly, his breathing becoming more regular. Tohru slowly lowered him back to the bed, before standing up. She bowed slightly as he opened his eyes, turning to the door.

Akito's mind rose from its fog, giving him a clearer view of everything that was happening. He sunk into the pillow, watching rather blankly as Tohru opened the sliding door and stepped out. She closed it behind her, and her footsteps could be heard echoing down the hallway.

Akito stared at the door. Something had happened, and he couldn't place it into thought just then. He was in a blank state as his mind tried to sort through the mass of jumbled emotion and confusion tumbling about inside of him.

It was a few hours later that the door opened again. Hatori stepped into the room, announcing his arrival. There was no reply, as usual, from the futon in the center of the room.

The doctor made his way toward the desk, where Tohru's canvas bag still sat. Raising one eyebrow, he noted the new flowers. The girl always managed to confuse him. He ruffled through the bag, and found everything was still there and in place. Why hadn't she taken it?

"Should I order you lunch?" Hatori asked. Akito opened his eyes, shaking his head.

"No..." he trailed off. Hatori raised his eyebrows. The frail man's voice was now more than just a whisper, and it seemed as if it had recovered most of its luster. "Have.. have that strange girl.. come back."

Hatori looked away. "Yes, Akito-san," he said, walking back across the room. He paused at the door before opening it. It was a bad idea, but he had to do it.

Besides, it was the only thing Akito had requested in four days. He wasn't going to object.


	16. Memories

Ah.. um.. Yeah. Blame philosophy.

16: Memories

This girl doesn't look like much of a threat, I had thought. She was very polite. Not many people these days were polite. She bowed to me, and she was... such a girl.

She wore small, yellow ribbons in her average brown hair. She altogether looked very average, I noted. A small, unbidden thought popped up; I wondered how I looked in my nice black shirt and pants. I had gained some weight since the last time I was ill, although it had taken some convincing for Hatori to let me drive with Shigure to the school.

I wasn't sure exactly what I had wanted to achieve there. I had assumed I would see the girl I had allowed to stay at Shigure's house, and it hadn't been that much of a surprise.

When I told her she was cute, it wasn't a lie. Although she looked average in every meaning of the word, her bright attitude was rather fascinating. No one was bright around me. I was a dark room, a shadow; I absorbed light, and I crushed illumination without a sound.

So, naturally, she was new to me. I could tell she was nervous. Who wouldn't be? I was an intimidating person. But still, she smiled at me. But still, she did not run away. And still, I saw her face light up as Yuki entered upon the scene.

Ah, here he was. The object of my affection, the victim of my wrath, the bug beneath my feet. But this was a valiant bug, a particularly well-weathered one, which could stand up to the might of my shoe. He clearly remembered me, just as I intended it. The family knew of my mental assault on him, but none of them knew what happened behind closed doors. I meant to keep it that way.

I walked towards him. He had grown up, recovered his countenance from his stay at the main house. He was a fine young man, and it made me laugh. I had failed in stunting him. But that would only make him more of a challenge when I crushed his free spirit and forced him to move back to the main house. The Honke. With me.

I had made him remember. And that girl had... had pushed me. She kept her eyes low, and she made no move to apologize ridiculously like she had before. She told me that she and Yuki, my rat, had to go to class or they would be late. She had a valid point.

But she made me angry. I apologized to her, and left. Shigure had inquired about the visit, and I was perfectly willing to share the details. I told him she was ugly. She was. I told him she was stupid and dumb. She was.

But she wasn't. She was a threat. And a threat, I couldn't handle.

I opened my eyes to the sound of my door opening. I couldn't just let her leave like that. It was an insult to me.

There was also the matter of food. I was always one to ask for what I wanted, to get what I wanted, and eventually enjoy what I wanted. I had pride and I had arrogance, but I didn't mind giving some of it up for what I wanted. Because when I did obtain my desires, my pride was restored and no one would ever say anything about it. It was a win-win situation.

And I wanted Honda Tohru's miso soup. And I would have it. And that was it. And maybe that sashimi, if I felt like asking.

She stepped into my room, her eyes never once leaving the floor. "You asked for me, Akito-san?" she asked. Her voice was barely audible in my large room. I wanted to sit up to speak to her, but every ounce of energy I had was directed to my open eyes and working mouth. It would come back eventually. And then the fun would start.

"Honda Tohru, I want you to make the same meal that you made yesterday," I told her. Tohru looked surprised for a moment, before bowing again.

"Yes, Akito-san," she said, leaving the room. I was now bored. The porch doors were closed, and I felt suddenly overwhelmed by the stuffy air inside the room. I often liked to lie on the porch, watching my birds come to me like the faithful pets they were, but I almost always insisted the door be closed when I was indoors. It was a matter of principle; now I was introduced to it, and I missed it.

There was a certain pleasure about the air outside. It made me nostalgic for a time when I enjoyed things natural, and I didn't like memories. I banished them, and arose in fits when they disobeyed me. Just like I had tried to ban Honda Tohru from my presence because of... that smell.

My mother smelled like roses. Memories came, unbidden: her hair, which bore the aroma of a sweet, tangy fruit. Her skin felt like roses, and had the scent of them too. The softness of her kimono, and the way she would let me play with her long, dark hair. Everything about her was soft and sweet, and I could remember nothing more of her.

***

Tohru waited outside the door, holding a tray of miso soup, salmon sashimi, and candied bananas. The kitchen had been out of yellowtail, and she hoped that the supply of vegetables that had been provided there would satisfy Akito's taste. They were less fresh than the ones she had used, but her special spices were sure to mask that slight shortcoming.

Tohru swallowed a lump in her throat, rubbing one eye. She brought her hand to the door, and paused as she found it shaking. Her fingers lightly grasped the small slat, and she closed her eyes. 

Akito had always made her nervous. From the moment he spoke to her at the school, she had feared meeting him. He had an air around him which not even she felt she could penetrate, and it frightened her. He was in a world all his own, separate from normal people. He had his own league, his own plane, and his own field of understanding. That much was obvious.

But Tohru found herself adjusting, and becoming used to his presence. She could clearly remember the fright on Yuki's face when he had been addressed by his own cousin, and it had disturbed her.

Even more prominent in her mind was her formal address to Akito at the main house. Even when she was paralyzed to the ground, her hair being tugged straight from her skull, she had not been afraid of him. She felt sorry for him, and wanted so horribly to give him hope. If he wasn't alive for himself, who was there to be alive for?

Tohru lightly slid the door open, stepping inside. She didn't want to go on lying to Yuki. Her charade would have to stop, just like Kyou had said.

"I brought what Akito-san requested," she announced quietly, walking across the room. She kneeled down beside the futon.

Akito lifted his head from the cover of his blankets, watching her blankly. His eyes narrowed slightly, and an invisible breeze pushed a small lock of hair onto his cheek. "Open the door to the porch," he said. Tohru nodded and stood, padding lightly towards the sliding panels.

She paused for a moment. "It is slightly chillier than it was earlier," she informed him. "I do not want Akito to get any more ill than he already is."

Akito stared at her back. "Open them," he insisted. Tohru nodded, sliding one of the shoji panels open. A light breeze blew inside, and she turned back towards him.

She stopped, her feet suddenly rooting to the ground. Akito watched with interest as she fixed her eyes on him, unable to move. Her eyes were wide, and her hand trembled at her side. She took one hesitant step toward him, as if he were some new person she was meeting for the first time. Akito drew back into his blankets as she continued to look at him, her expression curious and wary at the same time.

Akito turned his head. She was boring into his eyes, seeing past his face, and it was making him uncomfortable. Tohru seemed to get the message, and she covered the rest of the distance between them as she sat beside the steaming tray of food.

She dipped a wooden spoon into the miso, stirring it slightly. Akito remained with his back towards her, the silence blanketing the room. She lightly lifted one hand, setting it on top of the blankets. He opened his eyes, his body moving agonizingly slow as he moved to fix his eyes on hers.

Tohru lifted the spoon, her hand free of shaking. She smiled then, a strand of hair falling beside her face as she slipped the utensil into Akito's mouth.

The dark-haired man felt the warm liquid swish about his mouth. It tasted of fine dining, and it gave new strength to his weak and fragile body. It was a rejuvenator, a blessing to his immobile muscles and pale white skin.

It was what he wanted. It was the smell of sweet roses, and the feel of warm soup, and the thought of fruit desserts, which fueled him. It was a distant memory of a woman who took great concerns in his well-being, and a thought of a girl who cared for the very pleasure of his life. 

Some things in people are good, and others are bad. Some of these things can bring happiness to the lives of other, or they can cause pain and hatred among those they care for. They can exist for any amount of time, as a prominent feature of a person's life or a forgotten dream of love and fellowship, and form and shape a soul from the moment of birth.

But sometimes, events in a life such as this can make a person remember that they are born with these things inside of them, and it is they who choose to bring them about. No man is an island, and no person is complete without another to rely upon, because that is the heart of human nature. 

And this was one of those moments, one of those events, which heralded the start of something new.


	17. Inquiries

A _haari_ is a yukata/kimono overcoat that is essential to men's formal attire. Note the red and purple overcoat-type cloth that Akito wears in episodes 8 and 26.

17: Inquiries

"Tohru-chan, can you pass me that roll there?" Hanajima asked, pointing to a thick roll of paper. Tohru nodded happily, handing it to her friend.

"So, was the storm just in town here?" Tohru inquired, sitting back. The front of Hana's house had been demolished by a fallen tree branch. A summer storm had broken the tree and had sent the bough right through a pair of shoji panels and one wall. The damage wasn't unfixable, but it was a rather daunting task. 

Hana had called Tohru the day before, asking if the other girl could stay over for the night. Tohru had happily obliged, calling to tell Hatori she wouldn't be coming the next morning. He had been rather stoic about the matter and told her he would inform Akito immediately. She wasn't worried about the matter, but during the night, a great crash had awoken the two girls.

So, they had spent their morning repairing the front doors. Lunchtime was rolling around, and Tohru blushed as her stomach grumbled hungrily.

"What have you been doing since school let out?" Megumi asked in a quiet voice as he sat across from the two girls at the table. Tohru smiled.

"One of Yuki's cousins is sick, and I have been visiting him every morning. Then I have my part time job at night, and I shop and cook during the day," she replied. "It's busy, but I like it. I can't see Hana-chan and Uo-chan as much, though!"

Hana smiled. "As long as Tohru is happy," she said. 

***

Why wasn't she here this morning? She had come every morning for two hours since I asked her to make food for me. That was one week ago, and I had already grown used to her presence. I had long gained back movement in my arms and legs, but I refrained from letting her know this. Instead, I would pace around my room during the day, then restore myself to being "bed-ridden" in the mornings.

I don't really know why I did it. I had never been one to like attention, pity, or sympathy from anyone. If anything, I liked to be alone, left with my own thoughts, unless it was by my hand that someone came to me in my room. If I really felt the desire to see a person or speak with them, I could drive myself or arrange a ride with Hatori or Shigure. Shigure was a loyal dog, who always knew just what to say. I liked him. He appreciated me, and did what he could to give me what I wanted.

And for that reason, I did not demand much from him. I gave him his freedom from the main house, and let him continue on with his own professions and hobbies. I even allowed for that ridiculous renegade cat to live with him, as well as Yuki. I had let Yuki go. He should be thankful.

The door opened, and I looked up, expecting to see Tohru come in, bowing and apologizing for being late. I sat on a pillow near the desk, and I was awaiting her surprised expression at the fact I was now out of bed.

But I felt strangely disappointed when Hatori entered instead. "Honda Tohru called last night," he said. "She will be unable to come this morning, but will be by tomorrow." Hatori watched me.

Tomorrow? No! I wanted her to bring me food today. It was hard enough living on one meal a day. Did she know what she was doing to me? "Hatori, call her at once."

"Akito-san, she's not-"

"Tell her to come!" I suddenly yelled. I stood up, my body fully restored. Although I was still weak and fragile, I knew how imposing I could be when I wanted to. Hatori nodded quickly, turning and leaving the room.

I let my shoulders drop as I shrugged on my _haari_. It had the tendency to slip, and I usually didn't mind, but I disliked the red of its fabric dragging on the floor. I sat back down on the cushion, resuming propping my elbow on the desk with my chin resting on my palm. And I suddenly realized how boring my existence really was.

It was at that moment that I took notice of the canvas bag lying on the floor next to the desk. It might have been on top of the wooden object at one point, but was probably brushed off in a trip I had taken a few days before. I lifted the rather heavy bag up onto the desk, lifting the two handles.

I raised my eyebrows as I fished out some of the objects inside. There was a tiny flute, which I removed and lightly blew upon. The sound was high pitched but not unpleasant, and I set it down on the desk beside the bag where I could access it later. There was a little manga book, some romantic comedy short story that I had never heard of. I lifted out an art pad, which, when I flipped through the pages, I found to contain some rather intriguing pictures.

There was one of a pretty young girl, with flowing, curly, black hair. She was looking away from the artist, but she wore an extravagant dark purple mantle. I flipped the page again, seeing pictures of... my yard? I raised my eyebrows. I saw my bird drinking from my bird bath inside the room, and some other shots of fixed objects. They were all dated during the time in which I was comatose.

I put them away, barely glancing at the two other books. This Honda Tohru was obviously one for cute romantic things, things that I detested. The bag looked to have been left intentionally, so I supposed she had no idea that such personal items should be just sitting around in someone else's house. She was so forgetful and careless, it was no wonder.

It was some minutes later that I heard a light tap on my door. "Akito-san?" I heard a familiar voice.

***

Tohru had been disappointed to leave Hanajima's house so early in the day, but she couldn't deny Akito's request. Hana had been infinitely understanding, and had asked that Tohru come again the next weekend.

Tohru stood in front of Akito's door, waiting for him to respond. Although he was still bed-ridden, she felt uncomfortable about intruding. She had grown more and more used to him every day; he rarely spoke to her, but when he did, it was never rude or cruel with his words. Once he had said he liked her food better than that of his own kitchen, and it had sent Tohru's spirits sailing.

And now, she no longer felt uncomfortable in his presence. "Come in," replied Akito. Tohru opened the door, and was greeted with a new sight.

Akito was sitting on a pillow near the desk. He had her canvas bag in front of him, and was leafing through her drawing pad. She had left the drawings for him for no real reason, and had, after the first week, thought he was never going to look in it anyway. So, she forgot about it and never noticed when it disappeared off the desk.

"Y-you're up," Tohru said with a slight stutter. Akito stared at her, his expression as blank as always. "That's wonderful, Akito-san!"

Akito continued to look at her. He lifted one arm, propping it against the desk as he lifted himself onto his feet. Tohru opened her mouth to stop him, but the stone, unreadable look in his eyes halted her speech.

"Every day," Akito said, his voice low and almost inaudible, "you came. I don't understand you, Honda Tohru." He took a step toward her, his bare feet pressing into the tiamat floor. He had fixed his yukata and haari unconsciously, but they were both now slipping off one shoulder. The rosy fabric of the overhanging cloth lightly dragged along the ground, but the dark-haired man didn't seem to notice.

"You brought me flowers," he started again, "and when I told you to take them away, you brought different ones instead." He took another step, a lock of his almost black hair drifting in front of one murky eye. His hands hung loosely at his sides, his slim fingers curled slightly at his hip. His toes flexed against the floor as he moved even closer.

Tohru stood rooted to the spot, her eyes wide as he took one last stride towards her. Akito tilted his head, his eyes narrowing in a gauging expression. "You... told me they would miss me. You were wrong." He lifted one hand, his eyes softening as he ran one finger along her cheek. "No one would care about me... except you."

Tohru felt her breath quickening as he pressed one cold palm to her face. She had never been in such close proximity with Akito before; not even Yuki came this close to her. His nose was inches from her, and she felt herself suddenly wanting to bolt, to run as fast as she could.

She did care. Of course she did. At first, it had been an unconsciously obligatory visit where she hoped to make peace with the cruel man before he died. Then it had turned into a genuinely caring item on Tohru's part; she was just that kind of person. She had after tried to make the dying man as comfortable as possible. But when his health began to improve, her visits resulted from a pressure in her heart, one which insisted she give Akito the same attention and one some level, love, which other members of the family knew in their daily lives. 

He was the unloved. He was the result of the darker parts of the Sohma family, and he was the heart of them. Tohru had never hoped to change anyone, but she at least wanted to make them feel worth. To feel someone would miss them if they were gone.

Akito lifted his other hand to her shoulder, his shaking fingers brushing against the yellow cotton sweater she wore. He had some height on her; five inches at most. He brushed his hand across her shoulder and down to her neck, his other arm following.

He lightly crossed his elbows, drawing the wide-eyed girl against him. He closed his eyes, letting out a breath that he felt he had been holding... forever.

"Akito...-san?"


	18. Instabilities

"Mrs Souma Akito": I realize that about the kimono and the yukata. Not only is it summer, but yukatas are also made out of cotton versus a kimono, which is made out of silk and polyester. I am aware of these things, and though I know I don't know everything, I know enough to confidently use them. Men also wear kimonos, but they are generally differently colored and are more general. Women have different kimonos for different occasions and social statures. They have beer in vending machines in Japan because natives have a greater sense of honor than in America, so you will not see underage teenagers smoking or drinking. (This is not saying that they are valiant swordsmen who defend their family's honor with their life or whatever.) Also, I have no idea what "HP" is or what pair "h/d" is. Thanks for reviewing.

This extra chapter is going up because we have extreme exams this week, and I just want to make sure I have some backup time in case I'm unable to update. Six pages in one day. Not bad.

18: Instabilities

I must have lost my mind completely. This was the first time I had hugged anyone, male or female, since my mother died. Even she was timid about it; it is a formal family. We don't hug.

But every once in a while, in a person's life, a hug can cure all doubts, and help start healing wounds. A soft embrace can bring people without any common purpose together, and can be the start of many things.

I like to think so, now. I like to think so, as I have my arms wrapped around this girl's shoulders: this Honda Tohru. I have my eyes closed, and I can smell it. I am a child again, where I can smell my mother's sweet rosy hair, feel her soft pale skin, and know that she is there. I don't even know if I feel anything for this girl, because I cannot feel. I am beyond feeling anything but anger and craftiness, but I can scrap my pride for a few moments to hug this girl, and know that I don't need them after all.

And suddenly, I felt a wetness on my chest, where this girl's face rested. I felt her hands touch my sides, and suddenly, she shook. I heard a muffled sob, and I experienced a sensation as her feathery brown hair brushed my bared neck.

Why is she crying? I'm used to people crying, yes; Yuki cried every day. Tohru cried when I pulled her hair and screamed at Hatori to erase her memory. Kisa cried when I hit her as I passed her in the hallway. But this girl wasn't crying for any particular reason at all that I could tell, and I had done nothing to bring it about.

And instead of pushing her away and demanding an explanation, I felt the desire to pat her head. Which I did. Her fingers clutched the fabric of my haari, and she cried harder. I stayed like that for some moments, and my mind strayed into thoughts. This is what those animals could never have. It gave me a good feeling, knowing I had this on them. Now, if I died for them, I would at least get something out of it.  


***

Tohru's muffled sobs finally ebbed, coming to a halt in the form of short sniffs. Akito's arms loosened their hold on her, and brushed her back before withdrawing completely. The tall, thin man stood back, watching with a flat expression as Tohru rubbed her eyes with her fists, which shone brightly with wetness when she looked up at him.

"Akito-san?" she asked again. Red streaks ran down her face, and her hair was ruffled about her rose-hued cheeks. She stared at him, her lips trembling. Her mind was in a whirlwind, and she found herself unable to comprehend anything. She could feel his hands on her back, his chin on her head, and his soft yukata as she let her torrent of tears loose. 

Tohru stared at the floor, her thoughts slowly reining themselves in. Her cheeks were a bright red now, and her flush spread all the way to her ears. Akito watched thoughtfully as she seemed to remember just what had happened as her eyes became glued to the floor.

"Yes, Tohru-san?" Tohru stared up at him. It was the second time that he had ever used her name, even since she started coming to him. It was always just "you"; she felt strangely elevated.

"...Why?" Tohru's voice was still choked, but her eyes were clear and painfully innocent.

"I should be asking why," he replied, his voice once again emotionless. His eyes were dark and probing, and his hair hung close around his face and ears. He seemed to be leaning in to hear just what she had to say.

"B-because.. Akito-san really is a nice person, but he is not happy," she replied quietly. Tohru kept her head turned away, but looked at him from an angle. Akito continued to stare at her, his surprise and indecision quietly locked away behind his mask.

"I see," was his only response. Why? That was a very good question. People had needs, and people would do whatever was necessary to meet those needs. He had only done what he needed to do. Things were that simple, when you were Akito. Things had depth, but they rarely called for an investigation. It was just a matter of need.

Akito considered himself a calm, rational person. He often thought closely about things before lashing out in a blind rage; no one gave him credit for that. It took a deal of preparation to injure a person with any household item. He thought out things quite well, and considered his options very thoroughly before making decisions and acting upon them. But when he did something irrational, there was no explanation, and there was no question.

"Do I still scare Tohru-san?" Akito asked suddenly, still standing face-to-face with the nervous, fidgeting girl. Tohru looked up, eyes wide.

"Scare me?" she asked in amazement. Akito blinked. She had to be scared of him. Anyone who didn't fear him was more mentally unstable than he himself, and it was inviting disaster. "Akito-san has never scared me," Tohru told him truthfully. 

Akito looked thoughtful for a moment, then turned on his heel and walked back to the desk where he had previously been sitting. "Bring lunch," he instructed. Tohru looked dumbfounded for a moment, then bowed and nodded.

"Yes, Akito-san," she said, her voice still quivering. She opened the door quickly and escaped.

Akito crossed his arms behind his head, glancing up at the ceiling. Although it had been a one time thing, he felt as if a weight he never knew existed had been lifted from his shoulders. He still hated her, on some degree; it was more a matter of principle than anything. 

***

Tohru hummed lightly to herself as she carried the tray of steaming food out of the kitchen. The cooks never ceased to stare at her as she cooked, but she naturally took it as a compliment. She made teriyaki and miso, with a small dorayaki cake. Even to her nose, it smelled good, but she was still nervous from her previous incident with Akito.

What could possibly have driven to act that way? Lost in thought, she noticed too late when she intercepted with Hatori coming down the hallway. Tohru cried out as the tray quickly went sailing out of her hands, twisting in the air and spilling miso soup all over the alarmed doctor.

"Oh no! Hatori-san, I am so sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" she repeated over and over, bowing and crying her apologies. Hatori raised his hands, trying to split a few seconds among getting carrot slice off his shirt, picking the spilled tray off the floor, and assuring Tohru it wasn't a medical emergency.

"Please Tohru-kun, it's all right," Hatori said, patting her back. She stood up, and upon seeing his stained white doctor's jacket, began apologizing all over again.

Suddenly, the door to Akito's room--which stood only feet away--flew open. "What is going on out here?" he demanded. He registered the spilled meal, and the frantically apologizing Tohru. "What did you do to her?" he snarled at Hatori.

Hatori stared at the other man. Tohru closed her mouth, watching as Akito glared at the doctor.

"It's nothing like that!" Tohru cried in alarm. "I spilled the tray all over Hatori-san, and I ruined Akito-san's lunch and Hatori-san's jacket!" She quickly set about to picking up the tray.

Akito, eyes still narrowed, turned his eyes on Tohru. "You can make it again," he said, before looking back at Hatori. "You help her."

"Your checkup-"

"Half an hour," Akito interrupted. Looking at Tohru one more time, he walked back into his room, and closed the door with an air of finality.

Tohru looked at Hatori apologetically. "He's angry about my stupidity delaying his lunch," she said, dropping her eyes. Hatori blinked at her, then nervously patted her shoulder.

"I don't think so. It was my fault for not watching where I was going," he assured her. "Come on, let's get this cleaned up."


	19. Serenities

"Mrs Souma Akito": Fusuma! Hallelujah!

19: Serenities

It was nearing late afternoon when Hatori returned to Akito's room. If the ill man had been acting strange before, what he found inside was even more alarming.

Tohru had set the meal on the table in front of Akito, and he was now eating as she sat perpendicular to him. She was talking about something, and giggled every few minutes. Akito was silent and stone-faced, but kept his face trained on hers and appeared to be listening intently.

Hatori stood at the door for a few minutes before he was noticed by either of them. "Hatori-san!" Tohru called, smiling. Akito turned his head slightly, just enough to narrow his eyes at the doctor before he slipped the last piece of dorayaki into his mouth and set his chopsticks on the empty tray.

"How nice of you to join us," Akito murmured, rising to his feet. He teetered slightly, and without hesitation, Tohru steadied him by placing one hand on his arm. Hatori watched with wide eyes as Akito thanked her and turned, walking towards him. "Well, get it over with."

Hatori nodded, still unable to open his mouth. He took out his stethoscope, and Tohru resumed her seat on the narrower side of the desk. "Breathe in," he instructed. Akito did as told, but his eyes were unfocused.

The examination was quick and painless. "You seem to be doing a lot better," Hatori commented to Akito. The latter man merely nodded. "It's quite late, and I believe Honda-san has a job tonight, does she not?"

Tohru smiled and shook her head. "It's the weekend! I took last night and tonight off," she replied. Akito nodded and looked at Hatori.

"Yes, Hatori, don't make assumptions when you know nothing about it," he growled. Hatori's eyes widened considerably.

"Call me when Honda-san needs a ride home," the doctor replied, keeping his composure. Akito nodded curtly and Hatori could feel the other man's eyes on the back of his head as he left the room.

What he had encountered had been more than strange. He just hoped nothing terrible would happen to Tohru.

***

Tohru lightly tapped on the door. "Akito-san? May I come in?" There was silence for some moments, and then the door was abruptly opened.

"Hello, Tohru-san," Akito said, opening the door. The girl smiled brightly at him and stepped into the room. The patio door was open, and a warm, summer breeze drifted inside. She closed her eyes for a moment, then turned to look at Akito.

"It is a wonderful morning. Is Akito-san feeling well this morning?" she asked.

Akito kept his face blank. "Better," he replied stoically. Tohru nodded her head.

"That's wonderful!" she said exuberantly. She looked at him. "Would Akito-san like to go for a walk today?"

Akito stepped away from her, sitting down on the floor in the middle of the room. His futon had been removed early that morning, and he was now using his proper bed chambers. He looked at where she stood uncomfortably, and indicated toward a tiamat some feet away from him. Tohru hurriedly sat down, kneeling facing him. "A walk?" he asked.

Tohru nodded with a smile. "The main house is so beautiful, I wanted to take a walk around outside and see all the trees and new flowers," she replied brightly. Akito looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I suppose I can," he said in a low, sweet voice.

Tohru got to her feet abruptly. "Wonderful!" she said. "I'll make breakfast the second we come back!" Before Akito could react, the girl had walked out onto the porch and was surveying the scene. He slowly stood up, sighing as he felt strength in his knees and ankles. His toes flexed against the floor, and he stepped onto the porch where sat two pairs of sandals. Usually he kept three available, but the rabbit had taken a pair one day when he thought Akito wasn't looking; for what purpose, the dark-haired man didn't know.

Tohru had already put on one pair and was standing in the grass, admiring a nearby flowering tree. Akito watched her as he slipped on his sandals, where after he stepped off the porch and walked up beside her. "Shall we go?" he asked. Tohru smiled, and he lightly offered his arm. As he reasoned, it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

She was a fine lady, and thus had to be treated like one.

Hatori watched the pair from the window, eyes narrowing in scrutiny. What could he possibly be doing? Akito never went for pleasure walks, never listened to anyone with no motive behind it... his actions were alien to Hatori. Maybe he was plotting something, the doctor thought. He was probably trying to lure Tohru into his clutches, then he would destroy her and hurt everyone who loved her. That was probably Akito's plan.

But something about the way the man watched intently as Tohru smiled and talked, brushed the leaves of the trees and stopped to fix her sandals, Hatori didn't think that was the case. Akito smiled only fake smiles, the kind of smiles he used to earn trust before he destroyed a person. But a smile tugged at his lips, one which Hatori could only label as real. A product of something more than conniving, more than plotting and disguising. He wasn't putting up a front this time.

***

She really was very cute. Whenever she tripped on a stray branch or got a strand of her long hair in her face, she would blush and smile. It was a disease, and I was constantly fighting my own desire to smile back at her. It was a charm which no man in his right mind would ever deny, but I was never one to be called in a prime mental state. 

I had pride, yes; but I didn't care what people thought about me. They could decide whatever they wanted, but it didn't matter. They would never show it, because they were afraid of me. And as long as they were afraid of me, they would respect me, and they would never show that they thought less of me in my presence.

So, I felt no real problem in treating this girl however I wanted to. Because I liked her, she could have special privileges, and it would absolutely burn up that stupid cat or the little runt of a sheep. Although, at this point, seeking further dominance over those animals wasn't my overall concern: I was more interested in this enigma that was Honda Tohru.

I had never really liked summer. I didn't like winter, either, but the brightness of summer always managed to make me miserable. The sun was so impartial; it shined everywhere and anywhere, and didn't judge between who got more of its golden rays. The only way to avoid its light was indoors, and so that was where I was usually found during the summer months. At least snow was cold and dark, and could give me some peace of mind. Summer was always an ugly reminder of just how shadowy and gloomy my life was.

I was pulled rather unceremoniously from my thoughts as I felt a tug on my arm. Tohru had tripped--I had noticed her to be interestingly clumsy--and thus, the shift in my haari. I glanced down at her as she struggled to get her sandal back on, and she brought her eyes up to mine.

And she began to apologize profusely. "Sumimasen, Akito-san!" she cried, letting go of my arm. I merely watched her regain her balance.

"You trip a lot," I commented. She blushed, pushing some of her hair out of her face. It was such a cute, innocent gesture, I felt myself chuckle unconsciously. She looked at me, her expression one of surprise. This only made me go into a full out laugh.

I coughed slightly as I recovered from my bout of snickers. She patted my back lightly, watching curiously, her face flushed, as I finally stood up straight and cleared my throat. Tohru smiled, resuming her step next to me as I offered her my arm once more. She took it gladly, and I restrained my amusement as her fingers played with the fabric there.

I stopped in my walk, Tohru pausing beside me. I looked up, squinting my eyes as the leaves above us rustled in the light breeze. I felt a sudden surge of calm and a sense of calm, which I could only describe as peace. I was a person always thinking, always contemplating my death, and always wondering how to make the most of other people's weaknesses. But now, I just existed for the sake of existing, and it wasn't unpleasant in the least. 

I turned to the girl beside me, who was looking at me curiously. "Shall we go back for lunch?" I asked. She nodded with a smile.

"I'll make beef stew if you'd like," Tohru told me. I shook my head.

"We'll eat... out."


	20. Outings

20: Outings

I stood in the hallway, turning over my keys in my hand. They clanked against one another as I waited in the dark passage.

I was milking Tohru's good heart for everything it was worth, that's what I was doing. I was reveling in what she could give me. She didn't fear making me angry every second, and was always perfectly willing to be herself; this, in itself, amazed me. She never talked so quickly that she ended up with her foot in her mouth, and she was always willing to please. 

But this wasn't a God-fearing type of pleasing... it was the good-hearted kind. The kind that came from a person truly concerned about what they did, and always tried to their fullest potential to make things well for everyone. 

Tohru had returned to Shigure's house to do some cleaning, cook dinner for the ungrateful animals, and assure them she was just going out to dinner with Hatori, of all people. It, sadly, had been my suggestion. As much as I wanted to rub the fact I was taking their girl out to dinner in their faces, it just wasn't the right time. That much, I knew. Even as how I wanted so badly to show them my greatness once and for all, I was rather shy of making that kind of decision for Tohru.

Suddenly, I had become concerned about her welfare. It was disturbing. I tossed my keys and caught them, glancing again at the clock. I had told her I would arrive at 8 o'clock, giving her enough time to deal with the dog and his housemates before joining me. Hatori had objected vehemently to my driving again after such a short time, but I was insistent upon picking up Tohru like a gentleman. I doubted she had ever gone on a date before, and although I was sure she didn't think of my offer as one, I decided to do it in style.

Besides, the last time I had ever driven to see her was to torment her. I nodded slowly. That had been a gratifying moment in my life. Tohru had finally broken; finally succumbed to my will. The kind, valiant girl could be brought to her knees, and it would make a great lesson to the rest of the Jyuunishi. I just wanted to get some personal gratification out of her deteriorated state.

It was an uncomfortable thought, but I didn't mind. My recent past I let exist, without regrets for things I had done. I did them with a rational feeling in control, and I knew there was nothing I could to change them; so it was best to not dwell upon their more negative aspects. I had gained what I wanted at that time, and I wouldn't have done them any other way. That was how things were.

It was time to leave. I took my car key in between my fingers and opened the door, stepping out into the night. I had changed into a more formal haari, and I adjusted my sandals as I opened the black door of my vehicle. It was an old car, but a good one. It was also in excellent condition due to its rare use.

I had only been to Shigure's house a few times. Once had been to find Tohru, who was lost somewhere in the woods looking for her beloved, ugly cat. Other times I had come to see the house or speak with the dog. He was the only one truly faithful to me; his ideals were the same as mine, although he disguised his intentions much differently than myself.

I waited with my headlights on for some time, before I saw the door open. They would probably expect "Hatori" to get out of the car and greet them, but that would be impossible because of the doctor's absence from the vehicle itself. Tohru stepped outside, a scarf around her neck. She wore a cute dress which reached just above her knees, and her hair swished as she walked.

I saw the front fusuma close, and I pushed my door open. I walked around the car to where Tohru approached me. She bowed lightly to me and I nodded my head. I opened the door for her, and she smiled widely at me in appreciation. She was so easy to please.

I got inside the car again on my side, starting the engine. "Thank you so much, Akito-san," she began. "It was totally unnecessary to take me to a nice place to eat. I could have made dinner, but I really enjoy spending time with Akito-san." Although she spoke almost too quickly for me to understand, I managed to catch her main points.

I shook my head. "Don't worry so much," I instructed. Tohru nodded, and tried valiantly to keep back a smile.

***

It had been a tough chore convincing Kyou and Yuki that it was alright for Tohru to go out with Hatori for one night. Even if it wasn't really Hatori, it was a lie Tohru was forced to tell them... indefinitely. She hated lying to her two best friends, but it was necessary, she knew. They would never have even let her leave the house if they knew she was going to dinner with Akito, in a car driven by Akito. It was unheard of.

So, she had told them another lie: Momiji was coming along, and she was only going to get Hatori out of the house. If she had been going with the dragon, then the second part would have been true. That satisfied her, although the rest went against her very nature. She never deceived anyone, but this time, she felt it in her bones that there was no other way.

Tohru had felt like a princess when a black car pulled up in front of the house for her. It was an exhilarating feeling, sitting in the leather seat next to Akito. She felt nervous, if the lump in her throat and the butterflies in her stomach were any indication. But, at the same time, she felt calm and at home as they passed tree after tree on the way into town. She had no urge to flee, no nervousness about being there next to Akito himself.

And it was a pleasant way to be.

The silence in the car was a comfortable one, where each of them were lost in their own thoughts. But this tranquility came to an abrupt halt as the car pulled in to a parking lot, and the sound of music could be heard.

The restaurant was a sushi traditional, and Akito got them a large booth near the bar.

"Tohru...-san," Akito said, still managing her name. Tohru glanced up, smiling brightly as she took off her scarf. "What is school like?"

Akito was indeed curious; he had never attended school himself. Instead, he had taken lessons from a personal tutor when he was younger, and then had ceased education altogether when he turned fifteen. Sometimes he would ask for a book of some kind to keep up to date on the world, but those were rare occasions. 

Tohru closed her eyes, and an air of happiness radiated from her. "At school, I have my four best friends in the world," she began. "Kyou-kun and Yuki-kun are in my class again this year, and so are my best friends Uo-chan and Hana-chan." Akito raised his eyebrows. Slightly unusual names.

"I love Uo-chan and Hana-chan with all my heart. They were with me after my mother's death, and they still stick by me through everything. School is a great place! There are so many people to be friends with, and there's always so much happening." Tohru sighed in contentment.

Akito had never had friends. People were always scared of him, always needing something from him or trying to please him. There was no room for friends, only life, pain, and hatred existed for him. Tohru was her own little sun, and he could feel himself warming up just in her presence. She was so happy with so little; it almost made Akito feel selfish.

Tohru looked up at him. "What about Akito-san?" she asked. Akito stared at her for a moment.

"I didn't go to school." Tohru blinked, then nodded slowly and turned to ordering before changing the subject.

***

Shigure yawned, batting his mouth with one hand. He stood up from the floor, stretching his legs after long hours of sitting at his computer typing a manuscript. He paced across the room before opening the door and switching off the light.

He walked slowly up the stairs, stopping to yawn again every few steps. It was a long road to his bedroom, and he missed Tohru bidding him goodnight. Shigure had been rather surprised when Tohru told them Hatori was taking her out to dinner, but the dog--beside his regular dose of perverted comments--never even considered doubting her. He knew Hatori liked her, and probably just wanted to get out of the house for a little while. Akito was a burden for anyone, Shigure knew.

Flipping on the bedroom light, Shigure blinked as he saw headlights out his window. Reeling up his blinds, he watched with interest as the car pulled to a stop in front of the house. A formally dressed man stepped out of the driver's side and walked around to the passenger door, opening it to reveal Tohru. She smiled about something as the man led her to the house's front porch. It was far enough from Shigure's room that he could see them approach the main door, but they stayed there for a moment.

And it hit him. It was Akito. Shigure's eyes widened as he took a closer look; it was Akito all right. He had groomed hair and a well-managed, formal dress as he led Tohru by the arm. She was talking about something, then blushed and giggled when Akito put one hand on her mouth to keep her quiet. 

If Akito's actions up to that point hadn't been enough to frighten Shigure, what happened next made him afraid to take a step in case the floor would give out for any unexpected reason. Akito bowed slightly, and taking Tohru's hand, kissed her knuckles. Leaving her blushing at the front door, he turned and walked back to the car with relative ease.

Shigure felt his eyebrows knitting together as a warmness rose in his face. Tohru was _theirs_. Not Momiji's or Haru's or Hatori's, and especially not Akito's. The beast had no right to even touch Tohru after the way he had treated her. As much as Shigure respected the clan head and understood his goals, such a twisted turn of events rubbed the grain in a bad way.

Akito was tempting the wrong dog.


	21. Frustrations

I realized that rather than updating twice a day, I ought to just make the chapters longer. Feh.

21: Frustrations

"Honda Tohru."

Tohru let out a gasp and jumped at the strict, dark voice behind her. She held her jacket in front of her as she spun around, facing the sound's voice with wide eyes.

Shigure stood at the bottom of the stairs, his face shadowed. Tohru compulsively took a step back, but she wasn't quick enough. The dog took two strides towards her in a blur of a motion, and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"What are you doing?!" he demanded. Tohru felt tears build in her eyes as her heart beat quicker and quicker.

"I-... S-Shigure-san... it... me..." she stuttered, unable to find any words. Shigure suddenly eased his grip on her shoulders, taking a step back. He turned his head away, focusing on the wall.

"I don't what you're doing with Akito, but stay away from him. He's dangerous!" Shigure turned back to her, his face deadly serious, his eyes uncharacteristically dark and murky. "He will do bad things to you, Tohru-kun. I know you only want to help, but he is one person that no one can help. He will survive to hurt you, then he will die."

"But he won't!" she cried suddenly. Shigure turned to face him, his surprise painted in his face. "Akito-san is kind to me now! Not seeing him anymore will only hurt him worse." Tohru looked at the ground. She had talked back to the one who let her stay under his roof for the mere payment of cooking and cleaning. "I'm so sorry, Shigure-san... I didn't mean... it's just that..."

"It's alright, Tohru-kun," Shigure said with a sigh. He closed his eyes, putting one hand to his forehead. Tohru looked on worriedly, her eyes still brimming with tears. "Your hope for him will never die until he dies... or until you do." The dog turned to her, his face unreadable. "I don't want to see you get hurt."

Tohru nodded slowly. "He needs... he needs a friend," she said quietly. "I want to be his friend."

Shigure nodded slowly. He walked up to her, lifting one hand to brush a tear out of her eye. "We're here for you," he replied. Tohru smiled, and Shigure couldn't help but lift one lip in a lopsided grin in response.

"But please... don't tell Yuki yet. I couldn't bear to hurt him," she said, her smile fading. Shigure nodded his head.

"You will have to tell him eventually... Kyou too. They will be hurt," he replied. Tohru lowered her head, but a tap on her shoulder brought her face back up. "Just remember to come back to us," Shigure said.

Tohru smiled as he turned to go up the stairs. "Good night, Shigure-san," she called. He waved and disappeared up into the darkness.

***

The rest of the summer was very pleasant for me. Tohru came and visited me three times a week in the mornings, and always brought me breakfast. She was a bright star in a rather dark world, but her continuous shine began to brighten things around the Honke.

When she came during the week, she would sit with me for an hour or two just after ten o'clock while I ate, and always had something interesting to talk about. I had never realized before just how smart she really was; she may look dumb, but she had a lot of intelligent things to say about the world.

She often talked about her friends at school or funny events that had occurred at Shigure's house. It seemed to be a rather active place, and someone was always doing something silly or absurd. Tohru saw one or both of her friends almost every weekend, and told me a lot about them. I found it strange that a naive, innocent thing like her would have to bizarre--if she described them accurately--friends like those. One was a blonde yankee whom I learned was an ex-gang member. Her other friend, Hanajima, was a psychic and had a gift with detecting "denpa" waves. But both girls seemed to care a great deal about Tohru, and that's what friends were for, I supposed.

Often, though, she would be quiet. These were some of the strangest, yet most comforting moments of our time together. She would sometimes stand and open the doors to the porch and stand outside, marveling at the world around her. She told me that fall was coming, and she could tell by the changing of the leaves and the smell of the air.

Tohru was a person very aware of things happening around her. Though at times she was oblivious to the subtleties of other people, she was in tune with nature and the world that she existed in. 

On weekends, Tohru would come earlier and we would spend a few hours together. We often went on walks, exploring parts of the main house that I had never laid eyes on before in my life. She would often jog ahead, enjoying the feel of the wind in her hair; her carefree demeanor, I envied. 

I began to build up strength in my limbs, a strength that I had never had before. I spent so many years of my life lying in a room that I had no muscle at all, and it often caused me to be sick whether or not it had to do with the curse. Every day I got stronger, and every day it was easier for me to move and do the things I wanted to do. Tohru would smile and tell me that I wasn't just skin and bones anymore, and her ability to say such things without fear of retribution always made me laugh. She was the only one I would ever let get away with speaking in such a manner.

And I slowly came under her spell, hoping the summer would never end. But all good things come to a conclusion, and this was no exception.

I knew that summer vacation was going to give way to the next semester, and Tohru confirmed my suspicions. She promised she would visit every weekend, and that was enough for me. As much as I enjoyed her presence, I knew her secret of coming to see me would be discovered if she began neglecting her other duties. I didn't mind seeing her go that much; I knew I rarely showed genuine feeling, and it was an outer manifestation of my inner self.

I was not an emotional person. Anger was my only outlet for irregularity, and Tohru never seemed to ignite that sort of passion in me. Instead, I felt a steady rise of something unfamiliar in my gut, and it made me incredibly nervous. So, taking a break from her was just what I thought I needed to get myself in order.

But things went horribly, horribly wrong.

***

The first day back at school was no surprise. Hatori had instructed Momiji and Haru in keeping the secret of Tohru's regular visits, although he knew the rabbit would be bursting within a few days. But it was necessary for now, and Hatori could only wonder how long they would all need to keep silent. He only hoped Akito's fascination with Tohru would go away before he could really hurt the girl.

Akito sat in his room every day, not sure of where to go or what to do. He was so used to beginning his day with a full breakfast and a bright Tohru, that without them, he couldn't find the will to get past sulking beside his desk. At first, he told himself that he would just have to work his way around the bad habit of relying on her for his daily up-and-at-'em.

Hatori walked down the hallway, carrying a tray from the kitchen. The maids had told him that Akito wasn't opening his doors for meals, so he was just going to have to deliver it personally and see just what the problem was. Akito had been doing amazingly well after having survived a possibly fatal illness, even building strength in his limbs that he had never bothered to have before. But within five days of Tohru's return to school, he had begun deteriorating again.

Hatori tapped lightly on the door to Akito's room. "Akito-san?" he called. There was no response, and Hatori opened the fusuma to step inside.

Akito sat on the porch, staring absently at the trees. His feet dangled off and brushed the grass below, and he wore a very casual gray yukata even in the cool air. "What do you want?" he asked, his voice rather blank. 

"I brought your lunch," Hatori replied.

Akito remained staring ahead. "Put it on the desk." Hatori obeyed and turned to the door, opening it to leave, when he paused.

"Akito, I don't mean to pry-"

"Then don't."

"-but does this have something to do with Tohru-kun?"

Akito didn't respond for some moments, before he rose to his feet. He turned around, walking back into the room and stepping right up to the alarmed Hatori's face.

"That's Tohru-SAN to you," he hissed. "And that is none of your business!"

Hatori's surprise faded as he faced a fuming Akito. The doctor knew his patient to have an extreme amount of anger, but it was almost always released in violent spasms. The rest of the time, he was rather tranquil and was absolutely full of fake smiles and treacherously calm voices. But this anger was a steady stream, a peaceful manifestation of rational frustration.

"I can have her come to see you if you'd like-" Hatori was cut off.

"I don't need to see her!" Akito shouted in his face, turning away in two strides. "I don't need anybody, not you, not her, not anybody!"

Hatori watched with a tilt in his eyebrows as the other man vented. "How do you feel about Tohru...-san?" the doctor asked.

Akito paused. It was a question he had been asking himself since he stopped eating, stopped moving, stopped trying to do anything. It had only been a few days, and he was absolutely losing his head over it. He knew he didn't have anything beside weak, friendly feelings toward the girl, but his own state was bothering him.

He hadn't _wanted_ to do anything. It was just a sudden desire to move and keep himself alive... it was the same thing happening all over again. He cursed the Jyuunishi day in and day out for his "suffering," and had begun having dreams. He could never remember them upon awakening, but he always found himself drenched in a cold sweat.

And this mystery was driving him to insanity. He was losing his head over such trivial matters, and he could take no more of it.

"Tell her to come to me early tomorrow--Saturday," Akito instructed in a cold voice. Hatori nodded and turned, leaving the room as quickly as possible.


	22. Inductions

If anyone wasn't aware (and assumed the story was updated erratically) I try to get something up once a day. Also, I really want to thank Helen for the review. It was rather uplifting to me, because writing does the same thing for me.

22: Inductions

Tohru stood at the double doors to the main house. A large, wooden sign read "Sohma" next to her, and she fidgeted while keeping her eyes on the ground. Finally gaining the courage to open the door, she lifted her hand and pried it open with one large handle.

The wind that had tossed her hair while she stood out on the street was suddenly gone as she stepped into the courtyard. There was an eerie silence, and she glanced nervously around as she approached the front doors. The call from Hatori had been sudden; he already knew she was coming to visit on Saturday morning, but he had sounded urgent. Tohru was afraid to know what caused the sudden summons.

She lightly knocked on the door, and it was opened almost before she could lift her knuckles. Hatori stood in the doorway, his usually perfect hair slightly ruffled. He ushered her inside without a word.

"It just happened yesterday," he began as he led the still bundled up girl down the hallway. "He stopped eating a few days ago, and yesterday he insisted to see you. I wasn't sure if you were planning on coming today, so I called to make sure. He won't leave his room." Tohru knew what "he" Hatori was speaking of.

She walked ahead of the doctor, taking off her scarf as she went. The two stopped in front of Akito's door, and there was a momentary silence as Tohru slid the door open.

Akito sat against the wall, staring blankly at the open sliding panels that led to the porch. An icy breeze blew in, sending fallen brown and gold leaves against the floor. Tohru walked slowly across the room, but Akito failed to even notice her.

Without a word, she kneeled down beside him, lightly touching his arm. He jerked back from her, and then ceased to move again as he re-settled. She touched him again, and he only flinched lightly in response; it encouraged her. Tohru kneeled beside him and took off her gloves to allow her bare hand to touch his forehead.

Akito was on fire. He unconsciously leaned into her touch as she brushed her fingers across his forehead. Tohru sat closer to him, brushing hair out of his face as he closed his unblinking eyes. Akito let out a breath and lifted his hands to touch her arms, his body trembling slightly against her. Tohru let her arms wrap around his shoulders, and he let his head droop against her chest.

She held him like that for some moments, rocking him quietly and whispering comforting things to him. His fingers were like ice as they pressed against her arm, and the trembling in his body increased until Tohru felt wetness against her shoulder where his face rested. She patted his back lightly, resting her face against the top of his head.

Hatori watched from the doorway. At first his eyes had bulged out of his head, but they had softened as he watched the girl cradle Akito like a child. He brushed his hair away from his grotesque, injured eye, turning his head away as he closed the door, allowing them some privacy.

***

Where was I? Everything was dark; one moment, I was sitting outside feeling the breeze on my face, the next, I felt as if my own life had been snuffed out. I felt very, very sick, if the searing heat in my body and the pains in my head and stomach were any indication. I couldn't see, but I felt my eyes stay open. I couldn't hear, but I could feel someone coming towards me.

I heard a soft voice in my ear, comforting me as my temperature steadily rose. I could move my hands as I looked for something, anything to hold on to. My plea was granted by a cool set of fingers against my sweating forehead, wiping my sweat-drenched hair from my face. A pair of arms had circled me, cradling me in such a comforting manner I couldn't do anything but comply.

It didn't take my brain long to process these clues and discover it was Tohru who held me so closely, rocking me back and forth. But I was far from objecting, and I felt my eyes water against her. It was ridiculous, but there was nothing else I knew, nothing else I could feel. There was only relief, and I could sense myself slipping into unconsciousness.

I was crying. It wasn't a sad sort of crying, or a happy sort of crying, but a burst of emotion triggered by both fever, relief, and pain. I felt like a child in her arms, her warmth surrounding me and comforting me in all the facets of the feeling. I only wanted more of her, more of the wonderful protection I found in that moment.

I felt my tears slowing as my breath evened, and before I could think any more, I was asleep.

***

Akito opened his eyes, blinking against the cool wetness on his forehead. His body was on fire, but his feet and hands were cold as ice. He tried to move and focus his vision but was stopped by a friendly hand on his arm.

"Don't move yet, Akito-san," came a familiar voice. Akito immediately settled back into the pillow, closing his eyes as the cool towel was removed from his forehead. He regained some sense of mind as he began recalling where he was and why he had gotten there.

It was almost embarrassing the way he had acted, but he felt no regret. He was feverish, and that was his excuse. Akito lifted his eyelashes again, taking in the image of Tohru sitting beside him, her expression one of concern. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she wiped his forehead with a dry cloth. Akito blinked and shook the fuzziness from his mind.

"Better... what happened?" 

"Hatori-san says it was a fever-induced hallucination," Tohru replied calmly. Akito raised his eyebrows, then nodded.

"I don't really remember it," he admitted. Akito narrowed his eyes; this was a perfect chance to get just what he wanted out of her. "What did I do?"

At that, Tohru blushed immediately. "Hatori-san called me and told me you had requested me, but when I came, you were very sick." She only nodded, her blush gone. Akito stared. He hadn't managed to goad her into flushing about and stuttering like he had wanted, and it annoyed him. She hadn't even done it on purpose. "But it's good you're feeling well," Tohru added with a smile.

She stood up then, bowing lightly. "I'll make you some lunch," Tohru suggested, walking across the room and opening the door. Akito merely nodded as she left.

***

Yuki stepped down the stairs, glancing around. "Where is Tohru-kun?" he asked. Shigure glanced up from the table where he sat, reading the paper.

"Pardon me?"

Yuki cleared his throat and walked into the room. "Where is Tohru-kun?" he asked again. The dog looked thoughtful for a moment, and Yuki assumed him to be acting like his procrastinate self. Shigure was trying to think of an excuse for Tohru's absence. It hadn't been difficult over the summer when Yuki expected her to be out with her friends, but on the weekends, Shigure knew the boys wanted her company.

"I think she's with Hana-chan today," he replied. Yuki looked to take the answer, so the dog turned the page of his newspaper.

"You liar," Yuki hissed suddenly. Shigure jumped, staring as the boy walked towards him, his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Hanajima is visiting the country for a week!"

Yuki had felt something strange that morning when the phone rang. It was Hatori, if Shigure's "Ha-san!" had been any indication. Although he wasn't sure why the doctor would even bother calling their house, he dismissed it, until he saw Tohru leave alone not long after. So, naturally, he was suspicious.

"Oh, I forgot! Yes, yes, she's visiting Haru and Momiji," Shigure cleared up, not looking flustered in the least. Yuki came closer, inspecting his face. The older man looked up at Yuki's fierce look.

"You're still lying," the rat said in a quieter, more deadly voice. "Where is Tohru-kun?!" Yuki grabbed Shigure by the collar suddenly, and the dog raised his eyebrows in surprise at the dark, malicious look in the boy's eyes.

Shigure looked away. He was betraying Tohru's trust, but he decided it best that Yuki learn sooner than later; then maybe the mouse could knock some sense into her before she fell in too deep.

"She's with Akito," Shigure replied, slowly turning back to face the boy. Yuki's expression had quickly changed from dangerous anger to shock.

"A-Akito?" he stuttered. Shigure nodded as Yuki dropped him, using his arm as support against the table. Before the dog could react, Yuki had flown out the door, and it slammed behind him.

Shigure sighed, picking up his paper. "Just don't make it too painful," he muttered to no one in particular.

***

Tohru hummed as she walked down the hallway, carrying a large tray of lunch items. The tapped lightly on the door of Akito's room before opening it.

Akito had managed to sit up, and was watching expectantly as Tohru stepped inside. She kneeled down beside him, setting the tray on his lap and giving him a pair of chopsticks without a word. Akito nodded his thanks as he began eating, and Tohru set about to cleaning up the relatively empty room.

Tohru had just finished dusting off the already clean desk when she approached Akito. She giggled slightly, and he raised an eyebrow when she pointed to a small piece of rice on his lip. Confused, Akito touched his face in all the wrong spots until Tohru couldn't hold back her laughter.

Akito became slightly frustrated, and brushed the _other_ side of his face with his napkin, thinking maybe she was too overcome by giggles to point properly. This only caused Tohru to laugh harder, and before she realized what she was doing, she had tripped over his futon.

This caused her to land halfway onto his lap, sending the mostly empty tray skittering across the floor. Tohru's eyes widened as her entire face turned a bright red. Akito inwardly laughed as she tried to get up, but only managed to slip one foot on the floor and land with both hands on his chest.

"A-a-Akito-san, I'm sorry! Sumimasen! Sumimasen!" she repeated frantically, only succeeding in making him chuckle out loud. She immediately quieted at the sound, and Akito propped himself up by locking both elbows behind him. His previous fever forgotten, he felt a surge of strength. Enough, anyway, to accomplish exactly what he wanted to accomplish.

"You know... you're cute when you do that," Akito said quietly, his eyes softening as she stared at him with what could only be described as shock and surprise. Her hair was fluffed around her face, her bright green eyes were focused on him, and her mouth was slightly open. He lifted one hand to Tohru's cheek, caressing it lightly with four fingers as he brushed his thumb across her chin.

Tohru could only hear her heart beating in her ears as she saw Akito's face drift towards her. Her brain let out a squeamish jolt as she felt his other hand on her shoulder, but she could do nothing but relax into it as their eyes closed.

His lips were the first to touch her own in the entirety of her life. They had a strange feel about them; soft but firm, Tohru completely fell against him, her body completely overcome by the new sensations. She squeezed her eyes closed, absorbing everything about his proximity to her, his comforting lips, and the emotions which swam in a tumult inside her.

***

Yuki had finally arrived at the main house. He panted, putting his hands on his knees as he tried to regain his breath. Running for long periods of time was horrible for his asthma, but he could have cared less.

Yuki slammed his hand against the door to Akito's villa, stepping back to lean against the wall. He could hear loud footsteps, but his mind blocked them out. All he could think of was Tohru, being held by her hair, hoping against hope to reason with the demon known as Akito.

The door was opened, revealing a rather flustered-looking Hatori. The doctor was rarely caught in such moments, but he had obviously been at least jogging to get to the door at the furious racket Yuki had been making. The rat plowed right past Hatori, taking off at a run down the hallway. Hatori yelled after him, but his words were lost on the teen.

Yuki stopped when he arrived at an all-too-familiar door. He took a step back, closing his eyes at the rise of unbidden memories.

No. He had no time for this now. All his emotions renewed--fear, anger, worry--, he grabbed the door with one hand and slid it open with a large amount of strength for his small frame.

And the image of Tohru halfway onto Akito's lap, completely enraptured in a kiss they shared, caused Yuki to elicit a loud gasp.


	23. Tears

23: Tears

Kyou wandered down the stairs, letting out a yawn. He had been napping pleasantly on the roof when he had heard a great commotion, and had eventually gotten himself up and down the ladder.

Shigure glanced up from where he still sat at the table, reading the same page of the paper as he had been reading ten minutes before. It's not that he was reading, per say, but using it as an excuse to bury himself in his thoughts.

Kyou stretched, glancing around. "Hey, where's Tohru and the kuso nezumi?" he asked, yawning again. Shigure stared at him.

"Yuki is rescuing Tohru from the evil clutches of Akito, where after he will claim her as his bride."

"Oh, I see." Kyou dazedly moved towards the kitchen, when he suddenly stopped in his tracks. His head made a creaking sound as he turned to face Shigure, who looked to be reading his paper again.

"WHAT?!?!?!"

***

Tohru fell onto the floor, released from Akito's grasp as she heard the sound of a door being opened roughly behind her. Eyes wide, she turned slowly to face the man standing in the doorway.

Yuki was frozen, one hand on the sliding panel, his other fisted at his side. His eyes were round and wide, and his grayish-purple hair was plastered around his cheeks and ears from slight sweat. He was still breathing slightly haggardly, but that wasn't what caused Tohru to burst into tears.

His face was of horror, shock, and hurt. She had never seen him in as much anguish as she did right then, and she felt something break in her chest when Yuki slowly lowered his head, his hand releasing the door and balling at his side.

At that moment, a rustle in the futon broke the miserable silence. Akito lifted himself painstakingly from the ground, his yukata hanging haphazardly from his body as he moved. Yuki began to shake as the other man kept their eyes locked. Akito took a step towards his younger counterpart, one long arm adjusting the haari around his shoulders. Tohru watched the whole thing with horror, fresh tears springing from her eyes as Akito advanced towards Yuki.

"How do you feel right now, my Yuki?" Akito asked, his voice dangerously sweet. He lifted one hand, brushing it along Yuki's face. Akito tilted his head, leaning in closer. "Does it hurt, my Yuki? Do you want to hurt me?" he crooned.

Tohru, unable to get to her feet, leaned forward enough just to grab the bottom of Akito's haari with one hand. He jerked at the sudden pressure, and turned to her with suddenly bright, angry eyes.

"Yuki-kun... forgive me..." she said quietly, closing her eyes as she tried to gather the strength to stand in her suddenly weakened legs. Akito unconsciously released the frozen Yuki's face, watching with narrowed eyes as his haari was pulled from his shoulders by Tohru.

"Tohru-kun," Yuki said quietly, drawing a lightning quick turn in Akito's head. "Come with me, please, Tohru-kun! This monster will only hurt you!"

There was a sudden sound of a hand colliding against skin. Yuki almost fell back from the force of the blow, grabbing the wall frame with one hand to keep himself from toppling to the ground. Tohru let out a small cry of surprise as Akito drew his hand back towards himself, cradling it as if he were the victim.

"Don't talk to her that way," he hissed. Yuki stared at the other man as he turned again, looking down at Tohru. Akito leaned over slightly, taking her hand off his coat and using it to pull her harshly onto her feet. He looked back at where Yuki still stood, one hand clutching his cheek.

"Yuki-kun," Tohru whispered, gaining the attention of both men. She stepped forward, her eyes filling with tears. "I wanted to tell you... I should have told you..." she dropped her head, salty drops falling rapidly down her cheeks. Akito watched with a blank face as the girl covered her face with her hands, leaning over as she shook with sobs.

Yuki, ignoring Akito at the plight of his friend, move forward to comfort her. Akito lifted his head, his eyes drawing into slits as the other man stepped closer to Tohru; Yuki stopped for a moment, and turned his head away to avoid Akito's piercing gaze. 

"Tohru-san," Akito said in a low voice, which was both calm and instructive at the same time. "Will you leave Yuki and I alone for a little while?" Tohru raised her head, staring at him with wide, tear-filled eyes. He kept his gaze fixed on her until she nodded in response and walked to the door, sliding it open. Taking one look at Yuki, she stepped out and closed it behind her.

Hatori watched as Tohru stood in the hallway, looking dumbfounded. He came up beside her. "Come on, Tohru-kun. Sit down and have something to drink," he said in his best comforting tone. Tohru nodded slowly, sniffing as she was led away.

***

This was my chance. I had achieved my means much faster than I had expected; my original plan was now working full force. I had succeeded in both reducing Tohru to tears and cornering Yuki, putting him just where I wanted him.

But somehow, it didn't feel gratifying in the least. I had never kissed in my life, and it was an experience I would never, ever forget. She had tasted of sweet things, of candy and fruit and sugar... but it had been so much more than that. She had willingly let me taste her, let me take a small piece of her innocence. And strangely, I felt as if I had received one of the greatest gifts she had to give.

But now, I had my ideal prey in my hands, and this time I wouldn't let him escape. He was mine for me to do with as I pleased, and just that I would do.

I walked towards him, feeling rather alarmed at the slow decrease of energy in my still fragile body. Yuki had his face turned away from me, his eyes shadowed as he propped one hand against his injured cheek. I took another step, but was halted suddenly as Yuki turned his face to me.

His eyes were narrow and deadly. He dropped his hand from his cheek, boring into me with his deep-set expression. "Tohru is too good for you," Yuki murmured in a low, malevolent tone, his dark purple eyes black with anger. I was surprised at his forward actions. He never talked back to me.

But he was possessed by something. He bowed lightly before turning and opening the door. I raised my eyebrows as he turned his head back to me. "If she is hurt in any way, I will kill you."

And he left. Just like that.

I had heard my life threatened before, but never so forcefully or with such sincerity. The Yuki I knew would never have left my presence without me clearly excusing him; the Yuki I knew would never have defended anyone else for any reason at all; the Yuki I knew would never have spoken to me the way he did.

But yet, it was Yuki. I thought I should have felt like my ingenious plan was just a failure, but it was so much more. I had lost the power I thought I had over the mouse, the power I thought bound him to me and my purposes forever. I leaned against the door, suddenly feeling my strength sapped from my body. I couldn't fight them any more.

They were winning, those damn animals. They were killing me, the one who bore the weight of their deadly curse. The one who protected them, only wanted for their happiness.

I heard the door open, and Tohru stepped in. Her wide green eyes were trained on me, and I realized that it was the biggest lie I had ever told. To myself and everyone else, it was the bane of my existence. The everlasting consolation to myself that I was a martyr for them, the God that selected the twelve animals of the Jyuunishi.

And I wasn't. Tohru's lip rose, and I saw her unable to hold back a sob. She covered her face in her hands, leaning over as she cried. And the only thing I thought to do for her and for myself was what I did.

I walked the two steps needed towards her, remembering her soft arms cradling me. I lightly brushed her hair out of her face. "Go back," I said quietly. She gulped down a sob as she raised her head, her eyes sparkling from their moistness. She hiccupped as I cradled her cheek in my palm, and I watched in fascination as tears slipped from her eyes when she closed them.

I drew one hand across her back, letting her face me when I pulled her against myself. A fresh bout of tears wracked her body as she fell against me, her arms unconsciously taking themselves around my waist. I inhaled the smell of her hair as I buried my face in it, the scent of berries overwhelming me. I cradled the back of her head with one hand, closing my eyes as she let free her tears into my chest.

***

Tohru stepped out of Akito's room, closing the door quietly behind her. He had held her in silence for some time, until telling her to go and see her "friend."

She walked down the hallway, her head drooping. She had never been in a situation like the one she was in before, and the thought of hurting one of her best friends constantly plagued her; the look on his face would haunt her dreams.

Tohru arrived at Hatori's door, and lightly knocked. She knew Yuki would not have left yet, and was probably with the Sohma family doctor right then. She waited as the door opened and Hatori assessed her from head to toe. Without a word, he ushered her inside. 

Yuki sat on a couch, his eyes watching her from between his fingers, for his face rested in his upheld hands. The room was dark, and his purple eyes seemed to glow in the pale light. Tohru stepped cautiously past the doorway, her hands shaking at her sides as she reached for the lamp switch.

"Don't," Yuki commanded in a low voice. Tohru immediately dropped her hand, staring with wide eyes at him. 

"I'm so sorry..." she said quietly, her voice choking with a restrained sniff. She looked down at her hands, closing her eyes. "I...-"

"I don't really want to hear it right now," Yuki interrupted as he got to his feet. He was struggling to hold back tears of his own, so he walked past her and out into the hallway. He opened the door and left the house, closing the door behind him.

Tohru collapsed to her knees, holding her face in her palms as she cried. Hatori kneeled down next to her and patted her back, not quite knowing what to do. Angry outbursts, he could handle, but crying girls were never his forte.

Hatori scowled as he thought back on what Yuki had told him. The rat had burst into the room, his eyes carrying a terrified and pained expression. He spoke a mile a minute, and it took Hatori a few moments to really find out what had happened.

He knew how close the two were--Yuki and Tohru--and he was silently cursing Akito for ruining what could have been their relationship. He never blamed Akito for anything the younger man did, but this was too outrageous for him to let go. Hatori lightly brushed some of Tohru's hair, standing up. He heard the door open, and knew Momiji would soon be in to comfort the girl, so he took the chance to leave the room without her noticing.

He walked stiffly down the hallway; he knew most of the extent of Akito's manipulative power, but this was too much. Hatori had already let happiness slip past him with Kana, and he wasn't going to let someone else's pain go unnoticed again. 

He purposefully opened the door, opening his mouth to begin his lecture, when what he saw made his jaw slowly crank close. Akito sat against the far wall, his yukata loosely hanging around his shoulders. He had his hands tangled in his hair, and he slowly lifted his head when the door opened.

"What do you want?" he asked nastily. Rarely did he speak with real disdain in his voice; it was almost always disguised. But his lip curled in distaste, and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. Hatori took an unconscious step back, watching as Akito got slowly to his feet and advanced across the room.

Akito lifted one hand, suddenly grabbing Hatori by the collar of his white lab coat. The shorter man grit his teeth, glaring darkly at the doctor. "Don't let him hurt her," he hissed. Hatori's eyes widened as he was suddenly released, trying to decide whether he should be awed at Akito's sudden strength or the deep threat in his words. The sickly man paused as he walked away, turning to face Hatori. His hair hung in front of his eyes, and his voice was low and deep. "I don't care if she comes back or not... just make sure what happened doesn't... doesn't..." he stopped, turning his eyes away. "Break. She can't break." Akito looked back at Hatori, wrinkles appearing in his forehead as he furrowed his eyebrows. "Now get out."

Hatori nodded quickly, stepping into the hallway and closing the door none too quickly. He brushed some of his hair away from his eye, staring at the floor.

How could things have gone so terribly wrong so quickly?


	24. Pleas

Sorry about the lateness of this chapter. It's been a long day.

24: Pleas

The sun was already beginning to slide down the sky toward the distant mountains when three figures passed through. A light breeze rustle the pied leaves of fall, sending them tumbling to the welcoming ground below.

Tohru walked down the path towards Shigure's house. Haru walked beside her, one hand on her back behind her neck, patting her comfortingly. It was the most he could do beside hug her, which was out of the question. Momiji held her hand and watched her face intently as they walked, and he tried unsuccessfully for a third time to start a conversation.

Tohru kept her eyes on the ground, her face streaked red from tears. She barely lifted her head as Momiji tightly squeezed her hand. Haru, rarely one for concern, rubbed her back and could only sigh as they approached Shigure's house.

Kyou opened the front door, watching blankly as the three approached the porch. Taking Tohru's shoulder, Kyou silently pushed Haru off and Momiji stepped back as the cat walked her into the house, closing the door without a word to them. Haru glanced at Momiji, and the rabbit only shook his head and turned around, taking off his hat as he walked away.

Tohru stood in the middle of the entryway, her eyes quivering with tears as Kyou crossed his arms, staring at her. His face was blank and cold, and Tohru unconsciously wrapped her arms around herself. "He's not angry," Kyou said suddenly, his eyes never leaving her face. Tohru immediately raised her head and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Really?" she asked hopefully, her voice choked. Kyou continued to watch her without responding, when they heard footsteps in the hallway.

Shigure walked toward where the girl stood, his eyes looking over her with concern. "Tohru-kun?" he asked, leaning down to take a closer look at her face. Tohru inhaled, looking back at him with shining, moistened eyes. Shigure lightly patted her shoulder, trying his best to crack a comforting smile. "Go see Yuki. He's in his room."

Kyou opened his mouth to object, but a swift look from the dog silenced him as Tohru nodded and turned away, walking up the stairs.

Tohru stopped at the door just before she reached up to knock. What could she possibly say to atone for her actions? It wasn't a matter of regretting them; anything that hurt Yuki--or anyone she cared about, for that matter--was worth regretting. She knew it would all boil down to what she really felt and she wasn't prepared to answer that question.

Tohru curled her knuckle to lightly tap the door, but a "Come in," from inside stopped her. She gulped, closing her eyes as she turned the knob and pushed to reveal Yuki's dark room. No lights were on, but sun streamed in through and open window and cast a white glow on Yuki's pale purple-gray hair. His eyes were flat and forlorn, and he merely stared blankly as Tohru entered and closed the door behind her.

"I... I don't know what to-"

"Don't say anything." Yuki's voice tore the thick air like paper. Tohru nodded in compliance, closing her mouth. He stood up, wiping his hair from his face. "Tohru-kun, I care about you so much that it hurts," he said, keeping his eyes on her. "It was just a shock for me. Akito... he is dangerous. Because of him, I have sealed off my heart to the world for what will still be a very long time, and there is just no room for anything beside my memories." Yuki turned around to face the window, and Tohru watched as the sunlight illuminated only a few renegade locks of his hair. "I care about you, and that means I can't stop you from doing what makes you happy."

There was silence for some moments as Yuki walked across the room, pressing his fingers to the frame of the window as he sighed heavily. He pushed it open, letting in a light, fresh breeze.

  
Yuki shifted his feet so he was looking at her. "If anyone can help Akito, it is you."

***

__

"Can you break the curse? Can you?!" And there was blood. Lots of blood. Hatori's blood.

But she couldn't break the curse, and so she wasn't any use. A useless girl was no good for my dragon. He would understand.

And then I found myself on the porch. I asked the one who visited me why she had come; I knew she had rescued the cat from his cursed form, and I knew why she came, but I wanted to hear it from her mouth. And the blasphemy of it all was her reply: "I don't know."

She can't break the curse! This girl wants to stay in the family, an outsider, knowing our secret! This is unacceptable, it cannot continue! "Hatori, erase this girl's memory!" He ignored me. Damn that dragon... I had protected him. I had rescued him, and now he was defying me. They were all defying me.

And it was her fault. It made me angry; my vision was a blur of red, and all I could feel was her hair in my hands as I pulled it taut from her skull. She was going to pay for her sins once and for all, and then that would be the end of it. No more defiance, no more Tohru-this and Tohru-that.

"It must be sad," she said, "having death all around you all your life."

How would she know? She was some stupid girl who had shown up at Shigure's door one day when he had been feeling especially kind and especially influenced by my rat. She didn't know anything about me, about the curse, or about the family. She had no place here.

"I was born to die," I growled. "It wasn't my choice." And that it wasn't. Could anyone decide their fate? I knew my fate, and I only rose to meet it. I protected the Jyuunishi, and how ungrateful they were for my sacrifice! My life for their happiness and their survival.

Yuki and Shigure had looked so surprised at that revelation. What, did they think I enjoyed wasting my life on them?

"I don't regret meeting Akito-san. I want to know more about his feelings." I wanted to laugh. No one cared about what I felt, even the family that I carried a curse for. Why would an outsider care? I had done nothing but cause pain to this girl, and here she was, acting like she was my friend as I held her hostage by her hair.

"I don't mind if Akito-san is angry." Of course she minded. Everyone minded. This girl was absolutely full of blasphemy... but she wasn't. She cried tears not for herself in her own pain, but truly for the sacrifice I made for them: those animals. It hurt me too much to be shown anything but hatred and pain.

Because I was born to die, and I lived to slowly pass away. Would they really miss me if I died? Would anyone truly be sad?

This girl, no matter what pain she was in, would only know her own agony for the pain others felt. I only cared for my own pain, and I cared not for the pain inflicted on others; why should I? They inflicted pain on me_! It was only right, of course._

And the pain of my own selfishness made me back away. This girl was dangerous to me, and I wanted no more to do with her.

But now I wanted her. I knew I was selfish, taking her so painfully from those she so obviously loved. I had to have her; I needed her. 

When my mother died, the part of me that even heeded the pain, desire, sadness or any other emotion of other people was crushed into an endless, dark abyss of self-righteousness and harsh reality. But she drew that part out of me, made me want to care for her and adhere to her desires; to comfort her in sadness; and take away her pains.

And as I felt my mind slowly drifting away from me, I didn't mind it anymore. All I really needed was her, and then I could realize my empathy for her.

In all its forms, it was a hallucination when I felt familiar arms take me in. It was just my imagination when I sensed soft hands link around my waist. I had to have been dreaming when I heard comforting words in my ear, and it was no more than an ethereal vision when I felt light lips on my face.

"It's all very fine, Tohru," I said to the product of my imagination. "You can let me go now, Tohru." I really wanted to go... I was holding myself where I didn't belong.

"My mother told me to always follow my heart," a familiar voice said to me as I swam in endless darkness. I smiled. It was something she would say. "My heart made a decision of its own, and I can't let you go now."


	25. Questions

Again, I atone for my lateness by saying... I finally got my rear to the bookstore and bought all the new manga releases. Poch.

25: Questions

Tohru had been making dinner when the phone rang. Unable to get to it, Shigure had answered it for her. There was an uncomfortable silence when he returned, his face stoic as he revealed the news. "Akito's dying. Quickly."

She had arrived and found him on the floor unconscious. Tohru had told him only what she knew; only what her heart had told her. Hatori had told her he was probably delusional when Akito had asked her to let him go. She knew he was trying to die, was trying to leave once and for all. And there was no way she could have avoided the incredible guilt she felt.

It was all her fault, after all.

Tohru sat against the wall, watching where Akito lay. Hatori had told her that physical and mental stress while still in the midst of fever had induced worse symptoms, and it was very likely that Akito would die in the night. She had her knees bent up to her chest, and her arms were wrapped tightly around them and herself as she watched him long into the night.

Hatori came in once every hour to take Akito's temperature and re-apply the cool cloth on his forehead. The dragon told Tohru that she was missing work--although Shigure had called her in sick--and that she would have to go home eventually. "I know, Hatori-san. Just a few more hours." It was the same every time he came back, so he had stopped asking. All he could do was bring her something for dinner and hope for the best.

The sun was rising when Tohru finally crawled across the room to where Akito lay unconscious in his futon. She lightly pushed on him, hoping that he would just open his eyes and wonder if maybe he had fallen asleep. She had no such luck. Tohru sighed and sat up, watching his face for a moment. "I told you that I wanted to know your feelings... that I wouldn't mind if you were angry. I really don't. I don't mind anything about you... I never have. Even if you think they would like to see you gone--Shigure-san, Yuki-kun, Kyou-kun, Kisa-chan, Hatori-san, Momiji-kun--even if they do, I don't. Just try! Please! To stay here, stay alive. I'll listen to all of your feelings, and you can be as angry as you want, or as sad as you want, and I won't mind! Really." Tohru lightly touched his face, turning her head into her elbow as soft, salty tears gathered beneath closed lashes. "I don't know how I feel about you yet... but I want to know everything about you, and I want to help you, and I want to always be here for you. Please, don't go."

Unable to hold back any longer, Tohru bent her head as she let out a muffled sob. She apologized through her tears, hoping to atone for anything, everything she had done that would make Akito want to leave.

A hand lightly brushed her cheek; a feathery touch on her soft skin. Tohru opened her eyes, their emerald color focusing on the man who lay with a slight, sad smile. Tohru could only feel his hand lightly cupping her face as she wept.

"Tohru, Tohru, Tohru... you weren't meant to cry..." Akito's hand went behind her head, lightly pulling her down to the futon. She gave in without resistance, her sobs shaking her as she lay on top of the blankets beside him. Akito closed his eyes, drifting off to the sound of Tohru's fading sniffles.

***

Hatori opened the door, opening his mouth to tell Tohru it was time to go home and sleep. What he found was far from what he expected.

Akito lay on one side of his futon beneath a thick layer of blankets, while Tohru rested on the other side above them. She slept peacefully, her face slightly red from tears. Akito seemed asleep as well, and one of his hands rested lightly on Tohru's cheek. There was a strange peace in the room, and Hatori set down the tray he held and exited, unable to disturb the calm.

Momiji squeaked as Hatori almost stepped on him coming out the door. The tall man glared at the rabbit.

"Tohru-kun...?" Momiji asked, getting up and following Hatori down the hallway. The dragon sighed.

"Fine. I still don't know about Akito, though." Momiji nodded slowly, following Hatori away from Akito's room.

Kisa sat on the floor in Hatori's room, an anime video in one hand. She watched Momiji and the doctor enter, and quickly stood up.

"How are they?" she asked quietly, her large eyes wide and innocent. Hiro stood off to one side of the room, his arms crossed. The sheep insisted that he only came because Kisa was so worried, but it was obvious to everyone around him that he was slightly concerned for Tohru. Both were inquiring about her, but no one was able to give them answers.

Momiji looked at Hatori, and he could only shrug. He was too tired at that point to explain further, and retired to his private room without another word.

Kisa stood up, taking Hiro's hand in hers. "Momiji, tell Hatori to call us if Tohru comes out," she said quietly. Momiji nodded and watched as the two left the house.

He sighed, walking out after them. He kicked a rock down the path, watching as it skittered across the dirt and into the grass. Ritsu walked out from behind a row of trees, dressed in a mens' yukata--for a change. The monkey looked rather sullen compared to his usually excited demeanor as he approached Momiji.

In silence Ritsu patted the blonde boy's back, and they walked toward Hatsuharu's villa together.

***

Tohru's eyes fluttered open. Her sleep had been dark and black, and she had not dreamt once the entire night and morning. She felt a presence hovering over her and could feel a light touch on her face, a feeling which traced her cheek, nose, and lips. 

Tohru let out a little whimper of clearing sleep as she finally opened her eyes, her vision blurring. "Shhh," came a comforting voice.

Tohru blinked, her eyebrows raising in surprise. Akito leaned over her, his finger running along the rim of her ear as he kept his eyes focused intently on her own. His face looked blank, and his skin was especially pale. A pair of his dark locks hung around his face, shadowing his eyes as he cupped her cheek in his hand.

"What is it about you that makes me need you?" Akito asked, his voice quiet. He tilted his head, the light coming in through the window illuminating his deep eyes. He looked at her with what could only be described as a quiet compassion.

Tohru lifted one hand, brushing a lock of his hair behind his ear. He kneeled sideways beside her, one arm supporting himself. His haari was gone, and his thin cotton yukata hung low on one shoulder. He brought his face closer, his eyes searching her face. "What is it about you that makes me unable to think of anything but you?" Tohru opened her mouth to respond, but Akito pressed one finger to her lips to silence her. "What is it about you that makes me care?"

Akito's face had come so close to her own that she could feel his breath on her lips. His dark eyes bore into her own, and she felt herself tremble slightly. Akito drew away, sitting back on both arms. Tohru slowly sat up, keeping her face down as it turned bright red with blush.

"Tohru." She glanced up, balking at the piercing look on Akito's face. He leaned in, narrowing his eyes.

"Y-yes, Akito-san?" Tohru asked nervously. Akito's eyes bore into her, and she felt herself unconsciously swaying towards him where she sat. 

"Kiss me." Tohru let out a short gasp. 

"B-but A-A-" she was silenced by Akito's hand on her mouth. She closed it, watching with wide eyes and a bright red face as Akito withdrew his hand, keeping his eyes trained on her.

"They love you, you know," he said in his sugar-sweet voice. Tohru raised her eyebrows. "The cat, the rat, even the dog and the rabbit." Akito shifted his eyes off of her for one moment. His brow furrowed, marring the pale perfection of his skin.

Unable to resist, Tohru reached out and lightly touched his forehead, smoothing it with one soft hand. Akito looked up, his eyes tainted only a bit with surprise. She smiled as the wrinkles there went away.

"You won't go away, will you?" he asked suddenly. Tohru blinked, then shook her head.

"I don't think so, Akito-san," she replied. Akito narrowed his eyes, peering closer at her.

"You don't think so?" A light flush returned to her cheeks, and she shook her head.

Akito lifted one hand, taking her chin in his fingers. "You don't think so? What happens when you figure out there's nothing here for you? What happens when you give and give, and get nothing?" His voice became more toxic as he spoke, but Tohru could only smile as his grip tightened.

"Then I will keep giving and I will keep staying," she replied. Akito jerked, releasing her face and turning away. His hair fell in front of his eyes, barring her view of him.

Tohru moved uncomfortably for some moments before she reached out, touching his bare arm with her outstretched finger. He flinched slightly, and turned to look at her. His eyes were narrowed, but she could see a brief sadness in them. "What is it about you that makes me want you?"

He put his hands to either side of her face, and Tohru could only close her eyes as their lips joined.


	26. Passings

26: Passings

It was the most exhilarating experience of my life. Her soft lips on mine, her slight hands resting on my shoulders, her heart pumping so loudly I could hear its comforting thump... they were all features that only belonged to her. To Tohru.

I couldn't hold her forever. She was much more of a free bird than anyone gave her credit for; she was only being held down by her duties at Shigure's house. If she were staying with me... She would never have to work again. We would live happily forever, never working, always taking walks in the warm summer days and eating warm soups indoors on the autumn days. She would never see hardship and I would always protect her. Though I knew she was very capable of fending for herself...

I felt a desire in my very veins to keep her with me. Not like a caged bird--like Yuki--but as a friend. One who would always care for me, and would allow me to care for her in return. It was a dream which I had never before thought to be something necessary to my life, but now held great hope for me.

Tohru's mere presence had changed me. I only wanted her, forever, to stay by my side and care for me... to listen to me and genuinely want for my health. She was what I had craved for so long... craved without knowing what it was I craved for. The emptiness had been filled, and I never wanted to let it go.

So, with reluctance, I released her lips. Tohru took a breath as her eyes opened sluggishly, and she could do nothing but hold onto my shoulders with her thin fingers. Her head dropped and she let go of me, her hands curling at her chest. Although I was almost fainting from a lack of strength, I gathered what energy I had to take a lock of her hair in my hand. 

She jerked almost out of instinct; I frowned. She was probably anticipating a relapse of our more violent encounter since she had first come into my room those two months before. I wondered if it haunted her dreams and followed her, like it did to me. I still didn't know if it was regret or not, but I felt a pain in my throat at her reaction.

I lifted her hair in my palm, watching as she lifted her eyes to watch me. I lightly kissed the brown lock and ran it through my fingers, letting it drop strand by strand back to her shoulder. I felt my lids lower as I kept my eyes on her, my body swaying from weakness back toward the futon.

I watched Tohru's changing expressions as I felt the blood leave my head and a wave of nausea strike me. She held onto my arms with her hands, lightly letting me down onto the futon. She lifted the blankets and set them around me--like a child being tucked into bed at night. I smiled slightly at this thought.

Tohru lightly brushed some hair out of my face, smiling sadly. I felt my eyes close as she pressed her lips to my forehead. "Tohru... don't leave," I mumbled quietly. I could only hear her soothing voice before I fell into the black void of sleep.

***

Tohru sat back and sighed, watching Akito's face as he dozed. She very slowly rose to her feet--to avoid waking him--and stepped across the room, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.

Tohru glanced around, looking for some kind of clock to indicate to her what time of day it could have been. She walked down the hallway toward Hatori's private room, following the patterns on the shoji panel walls as she passed. Whenever the house had been built, the creators must have been immensely interested in the originality of each painting and inscription. She stopped and sighed, lightly tapping on Hatori's door with her knuckle.

It was opened slowly. "Come in," came a deep voice, widening the entrance. Tohru nodded and went inside, bowing to Hatori.

"Sorry to bother you," she said, "but Akito's gone back to sleep. I wanted to make some food for him, but I don't know what time it is."

The dragon nodded his head, adjusting his white doctor's coat. "It's a little after lunch," he replied. "You won't be expected at work because it's Sunday, but I don't know about next week." Hatori kept his unfeeling, dark green eyes focused on Tohru when she nodded in response.

She sighed, and Hatori silently offered her a seat at his table. He poured some tea, putting it on the table before sitting down informally on his own cushion across from her. Tohru smiled and thanked him, pouring herself a cup.

"Hatori, can I ask your advice again?" she asked. He kept his eyes focused on her.

"What is it you want to ask about?"

Tohru cleared her throat, gathering her strength. "Akito told me... not to leave. He was falling asleep, but I... I think..." she quieted, choking slightly on her words. Hatori only watched as she struggled to continue. "I feel like I'm needed here, with him."

The dragon put one hand on his chin, turning his head away in contemplation. He sighed, as if relenting to something only he could hear. "I think you might be right. Akito... he needs something more than the other Jyuunishi and I. He can't connect with people, because he chooses not to. But he has decided somewhere that you are acceptable, and I truly think that you might be able to... to help us." He lifted his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't have more faith in you before."

Tohru smiled. "You only want what is best for everyone. I understand," she replied. Hatori's eyebrows lifted slightly, when he cracked a small grin.

"You always do. I really hope you can help Akito," he said. Tohru nodded her head, standing up. "You can stay here tonight if you would like. I think he might need someone close by; he doesn't like it when I stay too close to him all the time when he's sick."

Tohru smiled and bowed. "I would love that," she replied.

"I'll call Shigure and tell him." Tohru nodded.

"I'm going to go make some dinner for Akito-san for when he wakes up," she informed him. Hatori nodded, taking a sip of tea as Tohru left the room.

If anyone could help the clan head, it was that girl. She could save their family; they had faith in her. What happened would be up to she and Akito, and he was willing to trust Tohru.

And he was very sure that Akito had powerful feelings for the girl that he only had to realize. There was hope for them yet.

***

One more step in Tohru's day made her life all the more hectic. The routine went like so: wake up to the alarm and get downstairs in time to make breakfast for Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure; get through the school day; go to the main house with Momiji and Hatsuharu to spend time with the recovering Akito; get back to Shigure's house to clean up and cook dinner; and finally, work until eleven at her part-time job. Her energy was slowly escaping her, but Tohru could do nothing but keep herself focused and hope for the best.

Very little had been happening since Tohru stayed the night at the main house. She quickly came to realize that Akito was ultimately a shut off person, and enjoyed food, going on short walks that Hatori would permit, and sitting quietly in thought while Tohru struggled to finish her homework before going home. He marveled at her skill in juggling all her activities and still keeping her head on straight, but he knew that she wouldn't last long under those kinds of conditions. He thought about calling Shigure and demanding he let the girl stay there for free--and make a detour around cooking and cleaning every day--but Akito knew Tohru would never, ever allow it. She was too committed to her work; too committed to earning her keep. It was those thoughts that kept him from demanding Tohru come and live at the main house with him.

And as the year passed and finals approached, Akito began feeling more strength than he had ever felt before flowing into his body. Even when Tohru wasn't around, he would walk about outside, insist on driving his car to just see the open road and watch people in the city, and generally keep his body active. Muscle that had never been before began to develop on his arms, legs, and chest. It was a strange feeling, being able to move about for long periods of time without feeling sick or fainting. And as time went on, Akito graduated to bigger things, such as jogging early in the morning before anyone else was awake to see him. It was an exhilarating feeling when the cold air invaded his throat and humidity clung to the shorts he wore.

It was Tohru's doing, really. She had introduced to him the comfort of western clothes, and so they had bought him some in secret one day. He wore his traditional clothing all day, but in the hours before the sun rose, he donned a rather interesting pair of jogging shorts and a t-shirt.

But Akito had begun to notice Tohru's consistent lack of energy. She would seem sad at times, but never told him why when he calmly asked her about it. She seemed convinced that it would only trouble him and he let it go each day.

Most of the school year had disappeared. Tohru came and saw him for a few hours on holidays, but once had to leave on a school trip for a week. Akito had been shaken for a few days, but knew that it would only make the time go slower. Tohru had been rubbing off on him.

As finals approached, Tohru had more time because she took a temporary leave from her part-time job. Although most of the hours she gained she spent studying with Yuki, the increased rate of her draining alarmed Akito. One day, she had come over after school and had flat out fainted as soon as she stepped into the room.

"You really need to rest," he told her when she woke up. Tohru shook her head and put on a smile.

"I'm alright, just a bit tired today," she replied. Akito fixed a look on her; she was going to have to fess up. A busy schedule couldn't entirely turn her demeanor upside-down.

"Tohru... there is something wrong, and I'm going to make you tell me." The happy face she had put on for the past year slid off with less than a reprimand. Tohru sat back on the floor, crossing her arms.

"Yuki-kun still acts... strange. He smiles, but it's not a real smile. He plays, but he only does because he has to. The Yuki-kun I met and became friends with is gone." She quickly wiped away a gathering tear. Akito watched with interest as she struggled to keep herself in check. "But Kyou avoids me. He doesn't talk to me, he only comes at dinnertime and then goes back upstairs afterwards. He even refuses to speak to me at school, and... I miss him!" Tohru burst into tears at that point, sobbing into her arms. The built up frustrations, sadness and pain of rejection by her best friends began to spill out in a huge, overflowing flood.

Akito stared at her. And it was all his fault. It was his doing.

Akito helped her onto her feet, and the alarmed girl could only go along for the ride as he swept her down the hallway to Hatori's villa. He knocked loudly on the door, opening it without much more than a "Keep her here, make sure she's alright."

Akito opened the front door and stepped outside, taking his keys off a hangar and getting into his car. There was a mouse to lecture and a cat to battle.


	27. Dissensions

"Mrs Souma Akito" - I work and save up what money I can. I just got the new Tokyopop releases-- Mars vol. 10 and FAKE. It's got nothing to do with being rich.

It's kind of funny. I didn't get the rest of last chapter finished until this morning, but this one seemed to come without a problem.

27: Dissensions

Yuki and Kyou sat silently at the table. Yuki was looking through a study guide he'd made for himself, and Kyou was absently flipping channels. The uncomfortable silence between them had come so often since the Akito disaster that it was no longer uncomfortable. Although it was less than companionable, they rarely argued. There just wasn't anything to fight about; Kyou flat out ignored Tohru, and Yuki couldn't bring himself to be the same with her.

Kyou sighed, stopping on some news interview. He didn't contempt her, or hate her, or despise her, and wasn't disgusted by her at all; he just couldn't face her. He wasn't sure if he felt jealous, scared, or rejected. Kyou had been very brief with Tohru right after the incident, hoping to sway her into abandoning all hopes of any relationship with Akito.

But right afterwards, she had managed to divide up whatever small amount of time she already had for them--Yuki and Kyou--and make regular visits to Akito. Kyou rubbed his orange hair; Tohru made him so irrational. He had hoped that his blatant avoidance of her would have made her try to spend more time with him, but he had soon grown to realize that his means and desires were selfish, and she had hardly enough time to do the things she had to do as it was. So, the charade had gone on and he had done nothing to fix it.

And how Kyou regretted it. But there was no more he could do, and only hoped he could fix things with her before graduation.

Because as they all knew, graduation would mean changes for the worst.

Yuki lifted his head from his book, watching Kyou's expressions change as he channel-surfed. He almost felt sorry for the cat, who had been struggling so much to get just a bit of Tohru's attention. It was sad, really; the most violent, most temperamental, most independent member of the Jyuunishi being turned into mush by a girl. But Yuki knew he was no exception. He had been making Tohru's life even more difficult than it had to be, but every time he saw her... he saw her kissing Akito. It was an image that haunted him and try as he might, one that he could not forget so easily.

There was one particular incident that year which made him shudder. _Tohru held her returned test, her face flushing white. Uotani and Hanajima peered over to look at it, and they cast each other worried looks._

Yuki peered closer, noticing the "15" score listed on the top. He held in a gasp. Since two years ago when she had been sick, she had never gotten less than a C on any test. Tohru looked ready to burst out crying, but she valiantly held in her tears as her friends patted her back and assured her that the re-test would be a cinch. 

Tohru raised her head, immediately seeing his eyes on her. Yuki quickly turned away and realized his mistake too late when Tohru excused herself from the classroom. She had later been found in the hallway, almost unable to breathe from the heavy sobs which wracked her body. The nurse had tried to send her home sick, but she refused to the bitter end when Shigure had to be called to take her away.

Yuki had done nothing but stand on the sidelines, watching as his best friend suffered in silence. Every day she became weaker and he cursed Akito for putting her through her blender routine. 

But he had done absolutely nothing to help, and he felt drained from trying to rest the guilt on somebody else.

Shigure had been faring fine, but it was obvious that he noticed it too. Every morning he would come downstairs--his eyes half-closed from sleep--and jokingly say something about his little flower's wonderful breakfasts as he sat at the table without realizing there wasn't anything there. Then it would be up to him or Yuki to go and wake her, only to find her alarm going off and with her sleeping right through it.

Yuki jumped as he heard the a loud knock at the door. Recovering from his surprise, he settled back to reading, assuming it was only Hatori dropping Tohru off at the house. He did so every once in a while, but it was becoming more and more often. And each time, she seemed more tired when she came inside; Yuki began to assume the truth that Tohru was often too exhausted to walk herself home.

Shigure walked past them, knowing the routine as he went to open the door.

Kyou and Yuki glanced up as he heard Shigure hold in a gasp. "A-Akito-san, I never expected to see you here," he greeted, lightly stuttering. Such a thing rarely,--if ever,--happened.

The two boys jumped to their feet, staring at the entryway. Both were too stunned to move further as a familiar man stepped into the room, pausing before turning to face them.

His eyes were narrow and deadly. Chills seemed to radiate from his body, and Yuki shivered as Akito's gaze focused on him, then moved on to Kyou. Shigure could only watch on helplessly as the clan head walked painfully slowly toward where Yuki stood, paralyzed. 

"I can't allow this to go on," he began, his voice almost impossible to pick up in its low sweetness. The danger lurking in his tone could have terrified even the most steel-hearted of men. Yuki unconsciously gulped as Akito's dark eyes were focused on him. "I can't let you two blundering, incompetent morons to go on destroying her."

All present knew who "her" referred to. Kyou shivered in anger, barely restraining himself. He had been bristling since Akito entered the room, but that latest insult and false accusation was almost too much for him. Kyou moved to open his mouth and object, but Yuki raised one hand and took one step forward.

Yuki closed his eyes, gaining every last ounce of courage in his body, all his frustrations and pains at letting Tohru confront the world on her own encouraging him to finally open his mouth. "What is the meaning of this unexpected visit?" Yuki asked.

Akito's eyes widened. Shigure stared as the clan head's eyes narrowed to slits, his hair almost standing up. it was at that point that Yuki noticed the much larger threat that Akito had become; his clothes no longer slipped from his thin shoulders, but his strong neck could clearly be seen. His skin was a more vibrant color, and his hair was full and looked more groomed than he remembered.

"You disgusting rat!" Akito shouted suddenly, clenching his fists. He didn't turn a household item into a dangerous projectile, and he didn't lunge with raw anger. Instead, the man kept his ground and could only vibrate with rage. "It's your fault!"

Akito's eyes turned to where Kyou stood, the cat staring at both Yuki and the clan head with clear surprise. "What do you want to accomplish by crushing her?!" he cried. Kyou's eyes widened further.

"Crushing her?!" he replied loudly. Instantly regretting his words, he could do nothing but continue. "Its been her visits to your house every day that are destroying her!"

Akito stared at him blankly, before he suddenly laughed. It was a sick, sweet sort of laughter; the sound of a mad man. He stopped suddenly, focusing his eyes on Kyou, then Yuki.

"From what I've heard, you two are supposed to be some sort of support." Akito watched them for a reaction, gauging his words. He had something to accomplish here. "But its your blatant inattention and her constant, illogical and irrevocable concern which caused her to faint at my door today."

Akito felt himself calming to a level of more rational thought. "From this day forward, Honda Tohru will be living at the Honke with me. There will be no objections."

Kyou and Yuki were in too much of a shock to react as Akito turned, slightly nodding to Shigure before leaving the house without another word.

Yuki's knees gave out from beneath him, and he kneeled on the ground silently before he hunched over, holding his face in his hands.

Kyou stood, staring at the wall, still posed ready for battle. He started trembling, his eyes growing wide as what had just occurred began to register. He yelled something incoherent, darting with blinding speed toward the door. Shigure grabbed him by the arm, and Kyou spun to face him, teeth bared. He screamed, ripping his wrist away from the overpowered dog. As soon as he gained his freedom, the cat was suddenly subdued, reduced to leaning against the wall. His body shook, his fingernails digging into the skin of his palms and drawing blood.

Yuki stared into his fingers, drawing his hands slowly away from his face. It was their fault. A year of misery for Tohru: it was their fault. And now she was gone.

***

Tohru sat in Hatori's room, sipping some tea. Hatori was working on his desk; at least, that's what he appeared to be doing. He drew his pen absently across a blank piece of paper, his eyes unfocused. He had never seen Akito look... determined. It was a familiar irrationally angry expression combined with an overpowering need to do something important.

Although Hatori had been slowly growing used to the change in the clan head, he wasn't expecting the man to leave Tohru as he took off in his car. It reminded him of a hero in a movie.

Something that was exactly opposite of Akito in every way. Hatori looked at Tohru for the hundredth time that day. She stared blankly at the floor, her hair blocking her eyes and a blanket on her back spilling off her shoulders. He hadn't attempted to talk to her since Akito had left in a rush.

Hatori glanced up as he heard the sound of a car pulling up outside. Tohru's reaction was similar, and she quickly set down her teacup. The door opened to reveal Akito, who looked to be positively shivering with anger; something which Tohru completely failed to notice.

"Akito-san!" Akito looked up, his face relaxing as he saw her. Waiting a good twenty seconds--as usual--before answering, he replied, "Hello, Tohru." She smiled brightly, but it didn't last very long.

"...There's something wrong, Akito-san," she said suddenly. Hatori raised his eyebrows when Akito only fixed his eyes on Tohru.

"You're going to be living here from now on," he stated, his voice cold. The girl stared at him, before her head dropped.

She lightly nodded her head. "Y-yes, Akito-san," she replied. Her shoulders trembled slightly but Hatori could only stare at Akito. The man walked around her, leaving the room into the hallway without a word.

Tohru sank back to the ground, tears running freely from her squeezed-closed eyes. A sob erupted from her throat, and the dragon could only pat her back.

Hatori's mind was in a whirl. What just had gone on? Whatever it was, it called for an investigation.

***

I stood in the hallway, listening as Tohru cried on the other side of the door. There was really nothing else I could do for her. It would take time for her to appreciate what I had done, but I was willing to wait for her to come around and realize that she didn't need those animals after all. She was too good for them.

I knew Hatori would be snooping about; he always got that way when it came to Tohru. I instructed one of the maids to prepare a room for the lady as I passed and she gave me a strange look. At the Honke, we didn't get visitors.

It just didn't happen.

All I could do was wait... forever, if I had to.

Suddenly, nothing else really seemed to matter. The curse, the animals, the Sohma family, the Honke, nothing. I didn't care if Kyou and Yuki rose up against me, and I didn't care if the family went up in arms about a woman living in a room in the same hall as mine. Nothing else mattered... nothing except Tohru.

She would come to see that I was what she needed, and then, she would be mine forever.


	28. Isolations

I seemed to have gone quickly on the last chapter; pardon me. Some things just had to be accomplished quickly, I suppose.

28: Isolations

Tohru had been shown to her room not long after leaving Hatori's private quarters. The maid had dusted and lay out a futon, but Tohru had stopped her when she went to pick up. "I can do it, since I'm the one who'll be staying here," Tohru said. The maid argued for some moments, but in the end had given in and left.

Tohru sat on her futon, staring absently at the wall. She had looked into the closet and desk and found nothing but dust and cobwebs, so she had decided to wait for night to come so she could sleep. Sleep was the only way to get away, now.

Living with Akito would be a task, but she felt a deep sense of betrayal: in herself. She had abandoned Yuki, Kyou, and Shigure without a fight, and now they were probably enjoying their freedom. Tohru sighed, watching through the window as the sun sank lower in the sky, just enough so its light was cut by the hills.

Tohru glanced up as she heard loud thumping outside, and the sound of someone talking quickly. Two pairs of footsteps came down the hallway, tapping irregularly against the wooden floor when they came to a stop just outside her door. There came a knocking and Tohru quickly got to her feet.

She opened the door only to be greeted by a wide-eyed Momiji. Hatsuharu stood behind him, carrying two large bags over his shoulders. 

"Tohru!" Momiji cried, jumping at her and enveloping her in a hug. There was a sudden puff of yellow smoke, and Tohru sat on the floor holding a small rabbit. "What happened, Tohru-kun?"

Haru hefted the two satchels onto the ground, keeping his eyes on her as he set them together on the bare wood floor. "Yes, Tohru-kun. What happened?"

Tohru watched her friends with what was obviously an attempt at a reassuring smile. "I'm just... moving here temporarily," she replied quietly. Momiji nuzzled her face with his, his whiskers tickling her cheeks. She held back a ticklish giggle.

Hatsuharu looked on, his usually dazed face taking on a saddened expression. "Tohru-kun, if there's anything you need to talk about..." She turned her head away, letting her hair hide her eyes. Haru sighed. "I brought your bags."

Without another word, the cow left the room. Momiji watched the exchange with confusion before he focused back on Tohru. "Tohru should just be Tohru," he told her wisely, before hopping off her lap and bouncing out the door after his tall, white-haired friend.

Tohru opened her bag, seeing her mother's photograph lying on top. Her underwear were lying right beneath it, and her face turned a bright red. Shigure must have packed it.

She took out the photograph, setting it on the bland, empty desk and letting out a sigh. "Where are you now, mother?" Tohru felt suddenly empty; she had no home again, no family, and there would be no telling what Uotani and Hanajima would think. They knew there was something strange about the Sohma family, but they had absolutely no idea. Tohru drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them to herself as she buried her face in her arms. There was nowhere to go, and no one left.

Tohru didn't know what to make of Akito anymore. She had felt trust in him during the year; she had survived with his subtle support... and now even he had abandoned her. Surely he was going to do something to her, even though that was not what she feared; it was losing the last pillar of strength which frightened her.

If Akito turned his back on her now, there would be nothing left. Not even Uo or Hana could save her.

***

I had ordered dinner sent to Tohru's room two hours before, but there was still no report. I had never been one to move unnecessarily nor over-think anything except for that moment when I paced continually about my day room. The sun had long since set, and I had been unable to sit for more than a few minutes since I heard the rabbit and the cow arrive with Tohru's bags.

I had been firm in my belief that Shigure's house was no place for her. But an underlying thought was eating at me; was I really just doing it for himself? Was I just saying that it was for her? I stopped pacing and opened the patio door to allow in the cool night air. Everything had turned upside-down since Tohru came into the family, and now things became much more complicated.

I stepped onto the porch, marveling at the wood planks beneath my feet. One slip and they could embed splinters into my bare toes; but it was a risk I was willing to take in order to stand outside without putting on slippers. But was Tohru a risk I was willing to take to ensure that I could keep her by me?

I found myself wavering on a thin line. It was the line between someone I could always rely on, someone I could call a friend, and someone whose heart I held in my hands, someone that was more than a friend.

Why did I really want Honda Tohru living in my house? Just to give her a place to stay where she didn't have to work to earn her keep and where I could always protect her, or was it really because of my own personal need? 

There were too many questions and not enough answers. I knew that I was really the one with the solution, but there was no way to find it. It was obvious that Tohru needed her friends as much as they needed her. But when they weren't friends to her anymore, did I have the right to take her in? 

I let out a sigh as I tilted my head back to look at the black canopy above me. It was dotted with stars, which flickered in all their different shapes and colors. I wasn't a stargazer. I was never that kind of person.

But I was a different person now, and there was nothing I could do. Taking one more glance at the stars,--hoping for some kind of indication as to the course of action I should take,--I walked back into my room and closed the door behind me.

I knew that Tohru would be in tears about leaving her "family." Shigure had been her guardian for three years now, but I knew the dog would obey my orders. The cat and the mouse, on the other hand, were another matter. But as long as I held Tohru in my captivity, they wouldn't try anything against me that might get her involved. Was she just my weapon?

As I stepped into the hallway, I briefly touched my lips. I could still remember Tohru's taste; we had kissed all but five times that year.

__

I raised one eyebrow, looking at the book I held upside-down in my hands. Tohru giggled and reached over, gingerly taking the book from my hands and turning it the right direction so that I could properly read the strange words. It was a book written in English, and I had absolutely no idea how to go about reading it, but Tohru did. She was smart like that.

Tohru leaned over, pointing to the words she knew and telling me how they were pronounced and what they meant. I couldn't focus at all on what she was teaching me; her hair fell in front of her face as she talked, and she was always brushing it behind her ear and out of the way. I tried it once, and she blushed madly and giggled like a little schoolgirl. She was so entertaining.

Tohru looked at me with concern. "Akito-san? Are you alright?" I jerked, realizing I had been staring at her intently for at least a minute. I nodded my head.

"I'm fine," I replied calmly. 

Tohru smiled and nodded, continuing the lesson I was paying absolutely no attention to and enjoying every minute of it. As soon as she turned to me again to ask what the matter was, I kissed her. Just a quick taste of her lips and it was gone; but it made me ready to listen to whatever she had to say for another hour.

What was it: playing, flirting, or teasing? Was I only playing with her heart? Tohru was the embodiment of innocence, and it was harder and harder to think of my attitude toward her as just mere playing.

It was so much more than that now.

As I approached her room, I balked at the sounds I heard coming from inside. Muffled sobs came through the thin door, and I could hear Tohru shuffling on the bare floor as she cried. I set my hand lightly on the handle, sliding the shoji panel door open in perfect silence as I stepped inside. Closing it behind me I observed the girl who sat in her pajamas, her face buried in her arms while the pink fabric stifled her sobs.

Tohru must have heard me kneel beside her, for she jumped when I rested my feet down on the floor. Before she could react I slipped my arms around her, pulling her tightly to my chest. She protested automatically for a second before she realized my strength and submitted, her body shaking as she sank back to the ground. I felt her face embed into my chest where my heavy yukata was still open enough to reveal my chest. She trembled for a moment as I tightened my grasp, but she suddenly burst into sobs with renewed vigor. I stroked her back, sniffing her hair as she clutched my blue haari tightly with her shaking fingers.

I put my chin on the top of her head, closing my eyes as I got more comfortable. I pulled her into my lap, something which I had never before been able to accomplish. Her toes curled on the floor as she sobbed harder, her wet tears spilling onto the bare skin of my chest.

It was my fault. Every bit of it.

What was she to me?

What did I really want with this Honda Tohru?


	29. Mutes

I almost didn't get this out today. I've been a little angry with some things lately, but I've got nothing really planned for tomorrow so I should be able to update at least twice, if I don't get stuck again.

29: Mutes

Akito sat with his eyes closed, holding a precious bundle in his lap. Her feet lay on the floor and her arms were curled at her chest. Her sobs had subsided as she fell into a deep sleep, and he absently rocked her in a gentle sway. His chin rested on her soft brown head and his arms held her securely, one around her shoulders and the other her waist, keeping her safely with him.

Tohru plagued his mind as he began to drift into his own sleep. He slowly lay down on her futon, unwilling to release her despite the many connotations it would have when or if someone found them in the morning. She was vulnerable and he was going to protect her; until when, he didn't know.

It wasn't Akito Tohru really needed. Rather, it was he who needed her. It wasn't teasing anymore, it wasn't playing, and it scared him. He wanted all of her, from her petal-soft brown hair to her sweet giggle. He wanted all of it, so that he could enjoy everything that was Honda Tohru for the rest of his life. It would be a wonderful existence.

Yes, that was it. Akito had finally submitted to it: to the fact that he had to have her. He wanted to keep her forever, not as a caged bird, not as a pet--like those animals--but as his own. What the reason for it was, he still couldn't bring himself to contemplate, because the design was too alien to him.

He wasn't ready just yet, and he was sure Tohru wasn't either.

***

Kagura walked down the hallway, moving with quiet steps along the wooden floorboards. She held another small hand in her own, one of a little, blonde girl with bright, light brown eyes. Kisa looked up at the older girl.

"Kagura-san?" she asked, her voice quiet and almost indiscernible even in the silence of the villa. Kagura stopped, glancing at the small girl.

"Yes?"

Kisa shuffled her feet. "Should we really be coming unannounced?" Kagura looked thoughtful for a moment.

"I'm sure Tohru-chan wouldn't mind, but I don't know about Akito. He's probably still asleep in his room," the older girl replied. Kisa still looked nervous.

"I miss oneechan, but I don't want to upset her," the tiger admitted. Kagura sighed and nodded slowly.

"All right then. We'll go wait for her, okay?" Kisa smiled brightly and they turned, walking back down the hallway.

"I'm sure oneechan would want to see Hiro-chan," she said. Kagura grinned and they stepped out into the courtyard.

To the two girls' surprise, Ayame waited outside. He stood beside a car--which was obviously not his own--and looked unusually nervous. Kagura raised her eyebrows as the snake avoided eye contact, keeping his eyes distant. As Kisa opened her mouth to say something, her older cousin lightly shushed her and they trotted together to their respective villa.

Ayame jumped as he heard a loud "a-HEM," behind him. Hatori stood on the other side of the car, tapping its hood. Ayame looked clearly relieved, exhaling loudly. The doctor raised his eyebrows at the strange response.

Ayame smoothed back some of his hair, straightening his red jacket. "What are you doing here?" Hatori asked in a monotone, examining the state of his friend.

"Ah, Tori-san, you see..." Ayame attempted to be his usually all-egotistical-smiles self, but he failed miserably. The snake let out a sigh, straightening himself. "You see, I have to see Akito."

Hatori's eyebrows jumped at that. Ayame never bothered to come to the main house unless it was solely to bother him, and he didn't know the snake's relationship with their clan head. 

Ayame stood off the car and cleared his throat. "Do you know when I can see him?"

Hatori paused. "I'm not really sure," he replied truthfully. "There have been some difficulties lately." Ayame raised one eyebrow, his golden eyes immediately showing a familiar bright spark of curiosity. "Some dramatic events involving Honda Tohru."

Ayame stood back, his eyes widening. "...Tohru-kun?" he clarified. Hatori nodded.

"Akito ordered her to move into the Honke last night, and I haven't seen either of them since," he replied.

Ayame was rarely shocked. "Does my brother know about this?" the snake asked rather loudly. Hatori nodded slowly.

"Though I doubt it was a consensual agreement." Ayame kept his eyes fixed ahead, lightly brushing his face.

"This isn't good at all," he mumbled. Hatori watched with alarm as Ayame's face went even paler than usual.

"There may not be an opening with him for a few days still, if things are going to go the way I think they are," Hatori told him. Ayame glanced questioningly at his childhood friend. "That is one relationship I still don't understand. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to my office quickly."

Ayame nodded and walked a few feet from the car as Hatori got in and started the engine. The snake's mind drifted away as the vehicle pulled out and left.

If there was no more Tohru at Shigure's house, there was no way he could have any words with his younger brother. It was Tohru who kept the boy from lashing out at him when they spoke despite the fact the relationship between them had gotten better in the previous two or three years.

Ayame raised his head as an idea hit him. Surely, Yuki was missing Tohru. Even though tensions in Shigure's house had been rising, Ayame knew his brother relied on the girl for stability and assistance in his everyday life; he wouldn't survive for long without her.

But the snake was in no position to help Yuki then; he had other matters to attend to. With a sigh, Ayame turned on his heel and walked back out of the main house without having accomplished anything.

***

I opened my eyes, a sweet, wonderful smell pervading my nose as soon as I gained consciousness. My vision was slightly blurry, but I blinked it away and felt my arm pinned beneath a weight. Glancing over, my mouth went dry as I took in Tohru's peaceful, sleeping face. She used my arm as a pillow, and my hand was wrapped around her shoulder as she rested, her own hand resting on my chest. Her brown hair fanned out around her face on the pillow and seemed to halo her already angelic countenance.

I sighed, drawing my free hand up along her face. "Tohru, Tohru," I mumbled. "Tell me why I have to have you near me. Tell me... what you really think of me." I lightly drew my arm out from under her so I wouldn't disturb her sleep so I could stand. I stretched, my yukata falling from its bunched position around my knees down to my feet where it belonged, where it gave me a heightened sense of relaxation. As I moved to open the door and let myself out, I heard a quiet voice.

"Akito-san?" I glanced over, watching as Tohru rubbed her eyes cutely with one fist before sitting up. I put my hand on the fusuma again, but I felt a light pressure on my yukata.

Tohru had the fabric balled in one hand, her eyes trained on me with a pleading look. Tears were quickly building in them, and I kneeled in front of her hoping to calm her nerves. She was already trembling.

I leaned forward, lightly kissing away a small drop of her sadness, her eyes focused on my own. I brushed a finger through her hair as she began to calm down, releasing my yukata in the process. I sighed, standing up again.

Tohru leaned over, burying her face in her hands. "Sumimasen, Akito-san," she said quietly. I stopped, glancing back at her. "Troubling you so early in the morning."

I shook my head. "It's not a trouble. I fell asleep here." She nodded slowly and looked away. I tried once again to open the door and leave, but I knew then that it was no use. "I..." I tried. It sounded so wrong and forced.

Tohru looked up, her green eyes moist. My head drifted to the side as I unfocused, tilting my head slightly to one side. There was no way to tell her... or more importantly, to ask her.

"I... Tohru, I want... I want you to..." I had never stuttered before in my life. I opened my mouth to continue, when the door was abruptly opened.

The maid jumped upon seeing me. She apologized profusely. "I should have knocked first... I forgot the lady was staying here," she said quickly, turning to flee. I only stared at her, then sighed.

"Get ready for school," I ground out, and abruptly left.


	30. Acknowledgments

30: Acknowledgments

Tohru passed another wide glass window. From her view on the second floor she could see vast lengths of cement, which were lined by vividly green grass and well-trimmed shrubs and bushes. Her view was suddenly blocked by another expanse of off-white wall.

There was a thick, eerie silence in the hallway. As she passed a classroom door she could hear teachers lecturing, for their classes were already in progress. Tohru squeezed her eyes closed as she walked to bite back tears. She really had to stop this crying business.

It was childish.

She finally came to her classroom, stopping at the door. It was homeroom so they had no class for another twenty minutes. Tohru opened the door, shuddering as the vibrant chatter in the room came to a grinding halt as she entered. She swallowed, closing the door behind her and taking her seat, all eyes watching her.

Tohru sat in silence for some moments before the murmur rose again to normal levels. She kept her eyes on her desk, avoiding even looking for Kyou and Yuki. She didn't know what to say to them, what to do to keep herself from letting a tear loose in front of them.

As much as living with Akito was... different, she could only look out the window when she thought about her _real_ home. The place she could call home, the place she had called home for three years, the place where she felt truly at home.

And now it was gone, and Tohru knew Yuki and Kyou would be glad to be rid of her. She was nothing but trouble for them.

Tohru almost let out a scream as a large fist landed on her desk, shaking it and creating a sound loud enough for all the class to hear. She slowly lifted her head to find Kyou leaning over her desk as he lifted his hand. His eyes were hidden beneath a curtain of orange hair and his arm was trembling as he stood up straight again, towering over her.

Kyou grabbed her arm, glaring around the classroom before tugging her toward the classroom door, where he jerked it open. Yuki followed them, closing the door behind them as they stood in the hallway. Tohru stood against the wall, crossing her arms in front of her and staring at the floor.

Yuki stepped in front of Kyou, giving the cat a level look. Kyou only scowled at the both of them and took a step back to allow Yuki to address her first.

"He hasn't hurt you, has he?" Yuki asked. Tohru looked up, turning her head away as she saw the deep, pleading look in his dark purple eyes. She shook her head.

"N-no," she replied, her voice trembling. Yuki lightly touched her cheek, turning her face so she looked straight at him. Kyou growled and finally stepped into the conversation.

"Tohru," he ground out. Her eyes immediately focused on him, both shocked and hopeful that he was speaking to her at last. "I... I'm sorry."

Confusion immediately flashed across her features. Kyou sighed, scratching the back of his head. "I didn't mean to... to hurt you like that," he admitted, his voice quieter than usual. "I didn't know what to think... I... we... it was confusing."

Tohru lifted one hand to her face, pushing some hair from her eyes, getting a better look at the two boys. Yuki nodded in agreement to Kyou's statement. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I couldn't stand hurting you, wondering if you were ashamed of me."

Yuki shook his head, patting her shoulder. He smiled slightly; a genuine smile. "We really missed you, Tohru-kun." He looked away, lowering his lashes. "I'm only sorry it took something like this happening for us to realize how much you meant to us, and how much we needed you."

Tohru shook her head. She looked at the two boys, a pair of trusting, purple eyes and a pair of spark-filled, auburn eyes both focused on her. "I..." she paused, trembling at their intent gazes. Tohru turned her face away slightly. "I can't leave now."

"What do you mean you can't leave?" Kyou asked loudly. His voice had suddenly turned sour and angry again. Tohru shook her head.

"Kyou-kun, it's not like that. If I asked Akito-san to let me leave, he would." Yuki raised his eyebrows. "But I can't leave him now. I... He needs me."

There was silence between the three students. Yuki watched Tohru with surprise, his expression rather clear of the pain it held earlier, while Kyou kept his face hidden and turned away. "What do you mean by that?" Kyou asked, his voice quiet and pained. Tohru looked at him, unable to hide her sadness at seeing a friend hurt because of her.

Everything was because of her. Everyone's pain. But somewhere inside she felt as if the pain was temporary; they still had each other, just things had changed. The consolation she had awoken with, the soft feelings physically and mentally of finding comfort in another's own search for peace... they were truer and deeper than anything she had ever experienced.

Only the loss of her mother compared. She felt as if when she awoke that morning, Akito protectively holding her in sleep, she had gained back a part of her that was once lost. All that was left to want was his comfort, his peace and restoration. Tohru could feel new parts of him that wanted only to come out and to finally accept the hope she offered to him.

"I miss you both," she said, gaining new strength. "But there is something I have to do there. It's the only way... I can really do my best for both of you." Tohru smiled, hoping against hope that they would understand. She missed making breakfast and laughing with Yuki, listening to Shigure tease and torture his editor, and trying against all odds to save Kyou from Kagura's violent clutches.

Kyou sighed, looking straight at her. "You have to do what you have to do. But if he does _anything_ to hurt you..." The threat didn't even need to be made.

Yuki nodded. "We're always here for you, Tohru-kun." Tohru smiled at the both of them, taking one of each of their hands in her own.

"Thank you."

***

I plucked another petal from the flower in a comedic display of irony. My lip curved crookedly as I tore the last saffron petal from its pollen-holding center, watching it ride an invisible elevator to the ground. I took the stem, ripping it brutally from the rest of the small flower, tossing it behind me as I abruptly rose to my feet. My toes stuck in the cool grass, a familiar smell drifting to my nose.

It was summer again.

I closed my eyes, standing silently in the soft lawn as a refreshingly cool breeze blew past me. Since Tohru had left that morning, I was unable to function at all in my normal routine, eating an obscenely late breakfast and taking a walk outside on my own. 

I had finally decided to do it. 

I wanted the comfort Tohru made me feel, the peace she instilled in me. I wanted to know everything about her, to ease the pain on her heart. I wanted to do something to make her own life better, even if I couldn't do the same for my own. The sensation of caring for another made my insides turn, but there was no other way to put it. I tried to tell myself I was only experiencing long-delayed emotions, triggered by the sudden events in my life which always seemed to revolve around Tohru.

But it was so much more than that. I wanted to hold her and kiss her and even do more than that, but felt the need for them because of my need for her. Her scent, her voice, her laugh, her innocence, her sweet pure mind, and her heart.

I wanted her heart. It was the only way to put it. She had made me see things I had never seen before and made me feel things I never knew existed. And now all my desires revolved around her, my mind becoming more and more placid in a war I had never thought would happen.

I had discovered my heart, and it hurt. It was in agony when she cried, and it soared when she laughed. It knew what it wanted, but it was only myself that had to accept its decision. And I had finally given in. Whether it was a battle lost, I couldn't say; but it was a new step, an advancement toward the caring, kind, compassionate heart that I wanted as my own.

I found myself on the porch, taking off the sandals I only put on a few steps earlier for the sake of ceremony. Suddenly, I didn't mind if my feet had unappealing green grass stains.

Grass had a pleasant smell.

I moved to sit on the floor, when I heard a knock on my door.

"Akito-san? May I come in?"


	31. Admittances

31: Admittances

Tohru stood outside the door, her hands crossed in front of her holding a small plastic bag. She heard no response from inside the room, and she began to wonder if maybe Akito was out doing something when she heard light footsteps. The door slid open.

Akito leaned against the doorway, one hand propped against the wooden frame, his yukata hanging loosely about him as usual. His eyes were hidden in a shadow and his dark hair clung to his cheeks, and his usually pale skin had more color to it than Tohru remembered. 

"Akito-san?" she asked with concern. Akito lifted his head, his eyes becoming visible as he tilted his jaw back. He watched her calculatingly as if he were searching for something, anything, to alleviate his stirred thoughts. The silence was pain to Tohru. She swallowed and kept her eyes on the ground, whether out of respect or fear, she didn't know.

She never knew what to expect from Akito.

"Come in, then," he said abruptly. He walked back into the room and sat on the floor as Tohru hesitantly looked about, finally coming in after him. A breeze drifted in through the open porch door, causing Tohru to push her hair back as it was ruffled about her face. Akito laughed, drawing her surprised attention.

Tohru blushed slightly and sat down as well, her bag crinkling as she set it on the floor while Akito eyed the object with interest. "How was your day?"

Tohru lifted her eyes. Akito rarely asked her how she was or 'how her day was.' It wasn't because he didn't care, per say, it was that he would never be able to relate to her life anyway. He knew it, so he never asked.

But that day, he wanted to know.

Tohru crossed her arms on her lap. "I spoke to Yuki and Kyou today." Akito nodded slowly, anticipating their conversation. "I don't know what happened when you spoke to them. I... I made them hurt. But staying with them will only make it worse."

Akito raised his eyebrows. "I want to stay here," Tohru said quietly. "I don't want to see you hurt too. Their pain will go away. Kyou-kun will learn that he does love Kagura-san, and Yuki-kun will accept Ayame-san as his brother and Hatsuharu-kun as his friend." 

She raised her eyes. "But your hurt won't go away. I..." Tohru paused, closing her eyes. Akito watched her closely, his pulse raging faster and faster as she spoke. "I want to make Akito-san happy."

Akito's eyes dilated. His former self would have shrunk back in fear and hatred at her words; but now, he felt himself wanting to respond to her, to show her just how... _happy_ she made him.

"Tohru... I..." Akito raised his eyes, watching her, hoping she could understand everything he couldn't say. Tohru smiled.

She held up the bag she had been carrying. "Would you like to eat some tokiyaki with me? I've always wanted to eat it with someone."

Akito allowed himself to crack a slight smile and nodded. "The weather's pleasant today, what do you say we eat outside?"

***

Later in the evening, Tohru sat in her room, focused intently on her books. Exams were coming closer and closer, and she was not nearly ready for them. 

A light knock at her door interrupted her studying. "Tohru-kun, may we come in?"

Tohru blinked, attempting to place the voice. "Yes please!" she said. The door slid open, revealing a tall, brown-haired girl and a little blonde one. Kisa jumped at Tohru, hugging her.

"Oneechan!" she cried. Tohru smiled, hugging the little girl. When the two had parted, Tohru looked at the other girl.

"Kagura-san! What are you two doing here?" she asked with a grin. Kagura kneeled down near where Tohru sat, Kisa cross-legged at her side.

"We just wanted to see how you were doing," she replied. "I was concerned about Kyou when he told me Akito was forcing you to stay here," a blush crossed the girl's face at the thought of the cat, "and Kisa here was going to be extremely upset if I didn't let her see you too."

Kisa smiled and Tohru could barely restrain herself from hugging her. "I'm doing very well, actually," Tohru admitted. Kagura raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"How?" Kagura asked. "Oh! I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry! It's just that it's hard enough to live here at the Honke. Although Akito is the clan head, he... disconcerts even I." Tohru smiled and shook her head.

"No, it's perfectly alright. Akito is very kind to me." Even Kisa looked surprised at that. "Kagura-san... can I tell you a secret?"

Kagura raised one eyebrow, then nodded. "Anything. Kisa won't tell either." The tiger nodded in agreement.

"I've always wanted to be in a special place with someone," Tohru confessed, "and... I think Akito is that person."

There was a silence. Kagura stared at Tohru, and Kisa lowered her lashes in thought. "...Really?" the boar asked in a strained whisper. Tohru nodded slowly.

"I still don't know how he feels... not yet. But I want him to tell me."

Kagura let out a sigh, hugging her friend. Tohru blinked, returning the gesture. "I trust in your judgment," the older girl said. "I think you might just be able to save us."

Kisa looked up at the clock. "Oh no!" she cried in alarm. "It's very late. Mother will be worried." Kagura nodded.

"We'll see you tomorrow, okay, Tohru-kun?" Tohru smiled.

"I would love that."

***

I knew she was already gone when I woke up. Although I had been looking forward to starting my day with one of Tohru's homemade breakfasts, she had also informed me she was going to get to school early and get started on a project of some kind so I wasn't too alarmed.

I sighed, shrugging off my night clothes and finding my yukata just inside my door, washed and folded. I sighed, picking up the cloth and smelling the scent that was uniquely Tohru's. Even though there were maids around to cook meals and wash clothes, she insisted on doing all her own laundry and making her own food. I noticed she had started doing some of my laundry as well. It wasn't unwelcome in the least.

Another long, boring day began, and I was already dreading it. I ran my fingers along my pale chest and quirked my lip in annoyance at my skin and bone. Being thin had never bothered me before, but I felt myself wanting to be stronger, be more powerful.

I felt like a man wanting to show off. It was some sort of instinct that had I had never really been noticed before, I supposed. It was only until recently that everything I repressed during his teenage years were coming back to haunt me.

I sighed, putting on my yukata and shrugging it into place, not even bothering with my haari. I wasn't planning on seeing anyone that day anyway.

I passed a maid in the hallway, ordering some breakfast sent to my day room, which I soon after went into.

My life had changed so much so quickly. I hated to be alone; being away from Tohru, at least. I didn't mind being alone _with_ her, but I began to feel idle.

The day passed rather in the same manner. After breakfast, I went on a long walk, which I knew was being supervised by Hatori from his villa. He was starting to go to his office more and more often, and I had heard he was thinking of re-starting his practice. Though the Sohma family never had money troubles, I thought maybe it would get him out of my way for a short period of time.

For this reason I took my time in the backwoods of the property, just stopping and watching the birds. I really enjoyed birds; their freedom, but also the way they would surprise so easily. They seemed to be attracted to me, at least. Everything reminded me of Tohru, so a few hours after lunch, I returned to my room through the back porch door.

I sat in my room, working on writing with some paints. It was a way to pass time, anyway. I glanced up as there was a knock on my door, and I put away my art. I wasn't an artist, but the technique interested me to some degree.

"What is it?" I growled. I was in no mood at all for visitors, even Hatori. I rarely needed him anymore although he still insisted on giving me regular checkups.

The door opened, and Hatori stood just as I expected, but with the snake beside him. Ayame, in all his amusingly stupid glory. I really didn't like him all that much, but he never caused me any trouble and kept himself busy away from the Honke. That was enough for me, although his flamboyant egotism and constant energy really tended to irritate me on the rare times I interacted with him.

Hatori only bowed slightly before leaving. I raised my eyebrows; he was leaving me alone with the snake? "Well, come inside," I ordered. Ayame nodded respectfully and entered, closing the door behind him and taking a seat just as I did. "What is it you want?" I asked.

Ayame's large, golden eyes always unnerved me. I knew it was just his resemblance to his Jyuunishi animal, but I always felt as if despite his superficial personality, he was probing into me with them. It gave him more dimension, I supposed.

"You know that I own a dress shop," he said. Of course, I wanted to say. I wasn't that oblivious to his actions. I only nodded in response. "I have one employee, a woman named Kuramae Mine." Ayame paused again.

"Please, go on," I told him in a deceivingly sweet voice. 

"...We want to marry."


	32. Beginnings

Sailor Panda - I know about what Hatsuharu calls Tohru. It's been a few years, though, and I believe they've established more of a friendly, peer relationship, so I changed what they call one another. I sort of messed up what Hatori calls Tohru, though. I was originally going to use the "Honda-kun" he uses for her in the anime, but I changed it because I wanted to insinuate that Shigure's familiarity with Tohru rubbed off on him, so he began calling her Tohru-kun. I was hoping to use different honorifics to show how characters' relationships have changed since the last Furuba episode. Although I wasn't sure how to treat the Kagura/Kisa/Tohru relationships, but I did what I remembered.

Well, it's the end. Enjoy.

32: Beginnings

Just how exactly was I supposed to react?

My first instinct was to fling something hard at him. But then, that would be useless, because the woman in question wasn't in attendance.

This irritated me even more.

Hatori was a calm, collected person, and it took a lot to make him angry--or make him show emotion, for that matter. Hurting him was exciting. Seeing his pain was interesting. Would seeing the bright and cheerful Ayame sad give me the same adrenaline, the same pleasure?

He had no respect at all. He didn't even bring this woman to introduce her to me. The nerve! What was he thinking?! Did he know what he was doing? He was denying the protection I gave him. This woman would only hurt him, would only reject him when she found out his secret. In the end, if I denied him, if I defiled him and drove her away like I did Hatori's woman, then he would thank me for saving him!

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Ayame jerked, and I heard a familiar voice announce that it was coming inside. The panel slid open and Tohru stood in the doorway, raising her eyebrows in surprise at seeing the snake. She smiled and bowed to him.

"Pardon me, Akito-san, I was unaware you had visitors. I can come back later," she said with a smile. I paused for a moment, ready to shoo her away and get on with my business, but something stopped me.

"That's alright, come inside. I have a favor to ask of you." Ayame kept his eyes on me, calculating my strategy. He smiled as Tohru passed and I felt a surge of jealousy, but I restrained myself.

Tohru seated herself beside me, looking quite happy in her school uniform. I had only seen her in it a few times before, but I always liked how it looked on her, how it fit her just right. She had become so pretty.

"Ayame presents me with an interesting proposal," I said. Tohru nodded, smiling brightly at the both of us. "Would you like to repeat your question?"

Ayame swallowed. It was nice; I never saw him nervous. Power truly was a great thing. "Mine and I want to get married," he repeated.

Tohru blinked, then her face turned radiant. I almost fell back from the force of her excitement. "Ayame-san! That is so wonderful!" she cried, absolutely glowing from head to toe. Even the snake looked slightly surprised. Then he laughed loudly; Tohru was infectious. Even in my presence, he still managed to let loose a familiar "Ho ho ho!"

"Oh, I must see Mine-san at once! We'll have to talk all about wedding plans... Oh! Will you have a western wedding or a traditional one? You two could make the dress!" Tohru was so bright and excited, I was completely engrossed in watching her. Did she have any idea at all that the decision rested completely on me?

I cleared my throat, immediately earning both of my visitors' attention. Tohru's eyes widened and she suddenly began to apologize profusely.

"Sumimasen, Akito-san!" she cried. "I am so sorry! I didn't even realize! Excuse me for my ignorance! I always jump to conclusions."

I blinked. Had she read my mind? My apparent state of confusion seemed to alarm her even more, when I set a hand on her shoulder. She froze, her large, green eyes locking onto mine. I turned to look at Ayame, whose smile had quickly fled him. The rambunctious, self-absorbed man could really be serious when he had to be.

"Tohru's judgment has come in," I said, my voice deep and grave. I immediately saw Tohru's alarmed, saddened face as she watched me intently. "This Miss Kuramae will be brought in for an interview."

I turned my head from Ayame to where Tohru sat, her eyes lighting up. She smiled widely at me, unable to hide her happiness and approval.

It took so little to make her happy, and so little to make her upset. I wanted so much to see her smile, to see her laugh...

To see her happy.

"You are dismissed," I said to Ayame. The snake bowed and thanked me, but I blocked it out as he quickly left. My attention was focused elsewhere.

I rose to my feet, walking three steps to where Tohru sat so I stood over her. She tilted her head back, her smile turning into pensiveness as I kneeled on one foot, taking her chin in my hand.

I placed my lips on hers, burying myself in the flood of feelings and emotions which overcame me at her touch. I wanted all of it, every small thing she made me want and feel and hope for. I squeezed my eyes closed and absorbed everything about her lips, about her tongue and her teeth and her mouth.

After what seemed like an eternity of bliss, I drew away, opening my eyes slowly. Tohru lifted her lashes to look at me, her eyes slightly hazy and a lock of hair hanging just off to one side of her face. I let my forehead rest against hers and I fell onto my other knee. In a bold move, she lifted her lips and kissed me again. It was a short embellishment as if she were asking of me, hoping for me to understand her. It was like a plea and a desire, so true and pure in all the innocence that was Honda Tohru.

God, how I loved her.

***

Hello. My name is Honda Tohru. At this point, I'm sure that it sounds redundant, but I felt as if I must introduce myself. When my husband gets going, he tends to take over. In more ways than one, I can assure you.

Ayame and Mine's wedding was beautiful. They chose to go western style, just because it would be their greatest project together to do all the outfits for their own ceremony. I stood as Mine's bridesmaid; in the months of their engagement, the two of us became fast friends. She loved to dress me up, and I didn't mind it at all.

I didn't show Akito any of the outfits she had me try on until he actually drove by one day to pick me up. It was a pink and red ensemble, consisting of a pink maid-like uniform with lacy red headband, arm band, and waist and front. He stopped in the doorway, staring at me with the most shocked expression I had ever seen on his then strong, colored face. It was the first time I saw his cheeks gain even a speck of red, and he was speechless until Ayame burst into the room chattering wildly to distract him. Of course it had been a few minutes before the snake noticed him, but it was enough to make me giggle and blush like there was no tomorrow.

He never really let me off that one, later. Kyou has taken his time realizing the wonderful purity of Kagura's devotion to him; although it did take her some time to get over her violent tendencies toward him. He is still very tentative, but I think Kagura's love will win him over in the end.

Yuki has never really been able to connect with those of the opposite gender. I don't know if he ever will, but he found college to be the ideal next step for him. He studied for many years, but ended up becoming a successful businessman. I don't even know what it is exactly that he does, but it makes him happy.

That's really all that matters. He visits me often, and always has great stories and even greater smiles. Kyou is less temperamental, but he has his moments.

Of course, the best part of visits is making tea and food to serve. I love having visitors.

I don't know if Shigure will ever finish torturing his editor, even now that she's his wife. I don't even know how it happened, but Shigure was rather sad to give up my title of "little flower" and "cute bride" to someone else. Though, I think Mit-chan-san is just the person he needs. They live an interest life indeed. Akito suggests it's better not to ask about it.

Hatori will never recover from Kana. He is still the family doctor, but now operates his own practice in his office. He is becoming more open, and is always concerned for my welfare. He is also great at giving advice, and always seems to know when something's wrong. In his own way he gives great therapy, just being a friend.

Hiro has finally become Kisa's prince. They have a subtle relationship, but I see them often hand in hand or arm in arm. Hiro visits sometimes even without his cousin, and although he refuses to admit it, I think he sort of likes speaking to me every once in a while. I absolutely love his company.

He's so cute.

Momiji will never really grow up. He and Hatsuharu were rather good friends for most of their lives, but Hatsuharu moved to the mountains for a reason I'm quite not sure. I really think it was to get away, because the cow will never lose his feelings for Yuki. Momiji loves coming to visit me, and I've even taught him a thing or two about cooking. He has an adorable girl friend who is very Japanese, but is fluent in English and is one of the most scholarly females I have ever met. But she has endless energy and is flawless at keeping up with Momiji.

Ritsu is gaining more and more confidence in the job he got working at Yuki's company. I believe he can associate with female workers now in a right frame of mind, and he is becoming more bold and less apologetic, and instead tries his best to be calm about things.

He still has his moments, though.

Ayame and Mine's daughter is the cutest little girl I have ever seen. She has light white hair and dark brown eyes, and her father is always braiding her long mane in all kinds of designs. Every day she has a new, cute outfit, and it is impossible to resist hugging her.

Akito warned Ayame about having a child, just for the reason that the next Sohma was due to be cursed. He confessed that it was one reason--though less prominent than others--as to why he refused to let the Jyuunishi have relationships. But if my memory serves me correct, the moment Miki was born, the doctor held her. She only grabbed his finger and pulled it.

Akito was never very romantic. It took him almost two years to tell me exactly how he felt about me, and it is a day that I will always remember. 

It wasn't over dinner, or on a beach walk, or even on the porch while fireflies buzzed about us.

It was when I accidentally came into his room while he was getting dressed. I had never seen Akito without a shirt, or without anything, for that matter.

My entire body blushed. His yukata was pooled around his feet, and I could only stare in shock as he moved nonchalant about his nudity--in front of me--to get his night clothes. 

"Sumimasen, Akito-san!" I cried, almost bursting into tears from the incredible shock and embarrassment I felt. I hid my face as I hastily tried to open the door, my fingers slipping each time from sweat.

"Why are you so embarrassed?" he asked. I turned my head to face him, when I realized his nudity again and turned away abruptly, hiding my face and apologizing all over again.

"You're... you're..."

"So? I don't mind." I blinked, and turned around slowly again, keeping my eyes solely on his face as he began putting on his night clothes in an excruciatingly slow fashion.

"Y-you don't?" I asked, my voice clearly trembling from my shock. He shook his head and shrugged on his shirt.

"If it's you, I don't."

Now fully dressed, he walked toward me and put one hand on my cheek. He kissed my forehead, then my nose, and hovered right before lightly pecking my lips. "You know, Tohru, I don't tell you enough that you're cute." He sighed, watching me with an uncharacteristically friendly expression. "But that's not what I want to tell you. I don't care if you see me in any way... you don't judge me."

He paused, leaning toward me in an intimidating fashion. I was too wide-eyed to react. "I love you for that."

Akito kissed me again; a full, deep, all-encompassing kiss. And it was amazing. And he asked me, "Will you stay with me? Forever? After having you for this long, I'll never be able to give you up. I want all of you. I want you to be with me, to give me this feeling you give me, forever."

And here I am, sitting on a couch, giggling as a little boy plays with my hair. His name is Tsukasa, and he has dark hair, olive eyes, and fair skin. He is two years old, and is not an animal of the Jyuunishi. Even after the current Jyuunishi die, no other members of the Sohma family will ever transform when hugged by the opposite gender. They will never transform when it is too cold outside or when they are sick, or when they are overwhelmingly happy or sad. They will never suffer because of the curse, and my husband will never die because of it.

Akito lightly kisses me on the forehead, picking Tsukasa up out of my lap. "It's time for bed," he says, setting the boy down on the floor and walking ahead of him down the hallway to his bedroom. We live at the main house, and now have the whole main villa to ourselves. Hatori's old room is now Tsukasa's bedroom and play room.

My little boy jumps onto his bed, already in his pajamas. Akito harshly tells him to calm down, and Tsukasa does as he is told. He knows his papa loves him, but Akito really has no rope for children, even his own. Tsukasa obediently gets into bed, pulling his blankets up to his chin. Akito moves to turn off the light, but the boy stops him.

"But papa, mama always gives me a kiss before bed." Akito narrows his eyes, and I stifle a giggle from the doorway. With a reluctant sigh, he lightly pecks Tsukasa on the forehead before turning out the light and coming out into the hallway.

I wink at Akito, and he snorts and closes the door. I giggle, linking my arm with his. "Come on. Let's go to bed."

He kisses me on the forehead and drops my arm, abruptly hefting me into his arms. I let out a squeal as he pulls open the door, locking his lips to mine before closing the door again.

It's good to be. Though we all have had and will have our good times and bad times, things will work out for the best.

And I am grateful for that. 


	33. The Man Only I Can Know

There are a few notes to keep in mind when reading this: the first is that I wrote "Light in My Life" last May and soon after began writing the short add-on I promised. But for some reason I abandoned it after a few pages and didn't start it again until the first of January, when I watched my brand-spankin' new Fruits Basket DVDs and re-read the entire story and finished this short piece. I know some of the bits are very scattered, but I like it that way. I think it adds a little more depth to an ending that didn't have much meat. At the end I also have the original end note, which explains a few silly things.

Also, this is the first of what I hope will be a few good "add-ons" to make the ending a little more complete and leaving you a little less empty.

Epilogue: The Man Only I Can Know

The villa was silent. A breeze blew in through a forgotten window, causing the paneled walls to make fluttering sounds as it passed. Suddenly, the sound of a door thrown open disturbed the silent, deserted air. Giggling could be heard, and the same door was thrown closed once more with an audible slam. The giggles were silenced abruptly. A shadow could be seen coming down the hallway, but its previous progress seemed to have stopped.

"Akito-san..."

One of the rooms was disturbed as a man, carrying a heavy bundle in his arms, opened its sliding door. "Shhh." He closed the door behind him.

Tohru kept her arms wrapped around Akito's neck, her eyes focused on his. Akito slowly kneeled to the ground, letting her rest on it, but he kept his hands securely around her. "I've wanted to do this for a long time, Tohru."

Tohru raised her eyes. "How long?" she asked, her voice quiet. 

"Since I first did this." Akito traced her lips with one finger, lightly placing his own on them. He browsed her sweet taste with his tongue, his hand cupping her chin as his arm released her waist. The silence was tangible as Akito released Tohru from his all-encompassing grasp.

She inhaled deeply and watched with wide eyes as Akito brushed her hair from her forehead. He let out a sigh, tenderly kissing her nose. "When your mother died... What was it like?" he asked.

Tohru watched him for a moment before responding. "Every day before she left for work, I said, "Be safe!" On the day of the accident I had been up late studying and I didn't wake up to tell her: "Be safe!" If I had just gotten up and done that small thing for her, she would still be here. At first, I felt guilt... But I knew she was still with me, so I wasn't sad. She wouldn't have wanted me to be sad."

Akito sat back and stood up, walking across the room to where a large futon lay on the floor. He raised his eyebrows and prodded it with his foot. "How did this get here?"

Tohru shook her head and stood up as well. "It's a double," she realized, a blush spreading across her face. Akito watched her and smiled slightly.

"I thought I saw Shigure here during the reception." Tohru laughed at that. "My mother died when I was four."

Tohru raised her eyebrows, then frowned sadly. "You were so young..." Akito nodded and shrugged.

"My father told me that I would die too, and then he disappeared." Akito looked at his hands and closed his eyes, shaking his head. He let out a sigh.

Tohru walked up behind him, putting her arms around his waist and leaning her head on his back, squeezing him. Akito put his hands on hers, looking away with lowered lashes. "I really don't deserve you," he told her.

Tohru shook her head. "I need you. I want you," she replied, "I don't care if I deserve you or not... I know that now that I have you, I am going to be with you forever."

Akito let himself chuckle slightly. "That's why I love you. I don't tell you nearly enough."

Tohru looked up and sighed into his neck, murmuring, "I used to have dreams. I didn't know what they meant then, but now I do. I was meant to be with you."

Akito turned around and Tohru released her hold on him, Akito stooping down slightly. He put his hands around her waist and looked straight into her eyes, his hair becoming ruffled about his head. He closed his eyes and set his lips against hers.

Akito wrapped his arms more tightly around Tohru and lifted her feet off the ground. He leaned over, not allowing her feet to touch the ground, and slowly set her down on the futon. He released her mouth, his breath heavy as he drew back in an effort to gain back lost air. He let out a familiar, deceivingly sweet chuckle. "You're my wife now," he informed her. Tohru nodded, long used to his mood changes. She lifted one hand to his face and traced his ear with her finger.

"That is true," she replied. In the time they had known each other, she had grown considerably; she had become more outgoing and less easily pushed over, but she still couldn't help but care for everyone she knew. Although her unconditional kindness often made Akito jealous, he had become used to it. No one was really sure when they decided to get married; to Akito and Tohru, it had just been a decision they made without a second thought, something which had occurred some time after Tohru's graduation. They didn't announce it to the family, but the news slowly spread and soon all the arrangements had been made. Akito refused to have more than the immediate family present.

Only Tohru's grandfather had been there. He was getting much older, and Uotani and Hanajima had to walk him wherever he wanted to go because of his bodily weakness. The old man seemed to know better than to ask how they had met, but he had told Akito, "You are a fine young man. Take care of my granddaughter, since I can't." Akito hadn't responded, but Tohru's grandfather only smiled and asked Uotani if he could get something from the buffet table.

"You know what that means, right?" Akito asked, putting his hands on either side of her shoulders to prop himself up. Tohru nodded slowly. "It means I'll take you as mine in every way. You'll bear my heir, and you'll cook me breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

Akito lowered his head, narrowing his eyes dangerously. "I'll always protect you. While I'm around, no one will ever harm you... the way I harmed you."

Tohru could only nod her head as she kept eye contact with him. Akito dropped his intimidating countenance and lowered his lashes, one knee resting between her legs, the other knee on one side. "I can't take care of you the way Yuki or the cat or the rabbit could have, but I can do what I can," he whispered, kissing her ear. Tohru tried to stop the giggle that erupted from her as he traced her earlobe with his lips and tongue.

"That tickles," she whispered back. Akito continued down to her cheek, kissing ever so lightly, leaving small red marks down her neck and to her collar bone. After the formal ceremony, they had taken the liberty of changing into more comfortable wear for after events. Tohru wore a formal light blue dress and Akito donned his usually summer yukata; the warm weather just called for it.

Akito sighed as he reached her collarbone, suddenly resting his head there. Tohru lowered her lashes and lightly brushed her fingers through his hair. "Somehow," he began, "here we are… I can't understand why, though."

Tohru only smiled and kissed his head as he shifted, propping himself up by putting his hands on either side of her. "You don't have to, we just are." A crafty smile crossed his lips and his eyes narrowed. Leaning down, he kissed her collarbone just under her dress. Having inspected the item prior to the ceremony, Akito easily untied it at the bow it was bound in at the front. With gentle hands and fingers he slid the shoulders down, revealing more of her creamy skin. He kissed that as well, glancing up slightly to catch the blush on her cheeks.

She would never fail to be cute. As he slowly removed her dress and saw, touched, felt, and kissed more of the perfection that was her body, he realized that there was so much more to learn. There would always be something to discover, and he had a faint idea that everything would be a new adventure.

Within moments the tides had changed and Tohru was, with excruciating and intricate delicacy, removing the various pieces of his thin yukata. They had drawn to a sitting position where she was running her small hands over every inch of his skin as she removed the cloth, marveling at the pieces and parts that were all put together in his smooth, unmarred body. Akito untied the rather casual yobi wrapped around his middle, letting his yukata drift open. He raised his shoulders so it slipped with finality from him--every last piece of it. Tohru smiled and lowered her eyelashes, hardly taken by surprise as he stole a kiss.

It was a rush of emotion as Akito slowly drew her down to the futon, surrounding her smaller body with his long arms. He had put a normal amount of muscle on his once bare bones, a long-time effort that paid off every second that he was with Tohru. 

"Now," Akito started, "you have to make a promise to me." Tohru raised her eyebrows, nodding her head. "Will you?"

"What is the promise?"

"That you will never call me 'Akito-san' again." He stared at her firmly, his dark gaze penetrating. Tohru, pleasantly used to his severe countenance, smiled.

"I promise."

And then Akito was suddenly complete. As he felt her all around him, as he heard her gasps and looked into her tender eyes, he knew that he had truly broken through his black cage and found his true destiny. He would never be her perfect husband: he was too cold still, too dark, too repressed to truly be everything that she deserved, but he knew he could let her past his wall and truly show her how he felt.

And Tohru would always accept him. She gasped again, her body's ecstasies joining with those of her mind. Every emotion possible seemed to crackle like lightning, making everything that much more intense. She was truly safe there, wrapped in his arms and held like the most precious thing in the world. And she knew there would be hard times, but there would also be good ones, and in the end everything would always work out.

Original End-Note: Published May 25, 2003, the end of what I call the one-month-inspiration. If anyone notices, the entire fic was produced in exactly a month, minus a day or two. I don't think I'll ever be able to accomplish anything like it ever again.

First off, I'm thinking of making a one or two chapter "add-on" to this that will probably be rated R. I wanted to extend Tohru and Akito's relationship a little more and tie in the dreams Tohru had at the beginning a little better. Although I'm sure a lot of you (the readers) made the connection between her dreams and the end, I wanted to make it more clear, so those of you who aren't afraid of a nice lemon can check out this add-on when I write it. It may take some time for me to get back into the mood after the relatively anti-climactic last chapter, but I'll do it eventually.

A question was raised about the curse. This is how I think of it; it isn't a matter of changing the hearts of the Jyuunishi, but changing the heart of the one who oppressed them and controlled them. In previous years the Jyuunishi married and had children, but it is just my own personal philosophy that the curse could only be ended by amending the God's heart (i.e. Akito). I know some other writers have contemplated that when the curse is broken, the Jyuunishi will no longer transform, but I think that would betray it a little too much. I really believe that love is all it takes to change the world.

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone who reviewed. And for those surprised at daily updates, it really isn't that difficult; just take a few minutes out of your day to type up a few pages, and you can stay on top of a story without losing interest in it. Though I can't say this is my longest story length-wise, I think it was the best thing I've written in regards to the inner workings of people. I really enjoy exploring the mind, so I think I'll be doing a lot of that when I decide on just how to go about this little addition I'm planning.

Thanks for reading.


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